I honestly hate how art and media have kind of romanticized the idea of like “going off your meds and being your true self again” because like I started taking antidepressants and like immediately got a new job, found a place to live, improved my relationships with people in my life and completely reconciled with my sort of estranged ex-girlfriend?? Medication can be rad and while I realize that it’s not for everybody I don’t think anything should be trying to convince anyone that being on medication inherently makes you less of who you are
(Most) Medication is for helping you to be you again. The real me isn’t tired by just walking to the train station. The real me is not my anxiety or depression. They don’t define me.
The real me is who I am when I’m not anxious and feeling worthless 24/7.
Medication is supposed to be the chemical equivalent of glasses or a wheelchair, depending on the severity of impairment. It tries to help you compensate for what has been taken, been broken, or is missing.
In particular, i always hear the myth that anti-depressants give you “artificial happiness”… no, no, no. They give your brain the ability to be happy. You won’t always be happy, and sometimes you’ll be sad. But the happiness you’re able to feel when you’re on meds is your own, real, happiness.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE NEUROTYPICALS IN THE BACK!!!
I am 100% better on meds then off. I resisted meds for a long time, in part because of BS like this. I was worried about losing my creativity. But you know what? When I wasn’t anxious all the time, when my depression faded a bit, when my mood became more even, THEN I had more energy to create, my brain had more space to come up with positive things, I could actually focus on the things I wanted to do.
Medications become less effective over time as your body gets used to them. I’ve been on these current meds for a couple years now and I don’t think they’re working as well, but even so I’m still a LOT better then I was.
Last year was really hard, really stressful. Job loses and money problems and car problems, and I honestly don’t think I could have handled everything as well as I did without being on my meds. Even when I didn’t have insurance I still came up with the $80/mo for the out of pocket cost of my meds because I knew it was making all the difference.
What made me finally get help and get on meds was essentially failing a semester and a half of school. I’m kicking myself now because I’ve run out of financial aid and I’ve got one more semester to go (so if I hadn’t failed I’d be graduated now). But I can’t change the past, and I know that since I am on meds now, I’ll be able to finish, to focus.
And I’m 37 years old. It’s never too late to realize you have a problem and get the help you need.