2/2 he doesn’t leave mary, sure he would have if knew Sherlock loved him back but is that IF what bothers people it’s like suddenly John’s love is conditional I only hope S4 explains that Mary manipulated John into staying with her from the very beginning
Anonymous said:people hate on john because they think he doesn’t really loved sherlock, if he did then he would have dumped mary as soon as he came back, even if he thinks Sherlock is incapable of returning his feelings he would have wanted to be with him but instead he leaves sherlock and marries
Anonymous said: I don’t think John needs to be redeemed for forgiving Mary because it’s pretty obvious that he didn’t actually forgive her BUT I do think he needs to redeem himself for marrying her in the first place instead of going back to Baker St. It’s like he will only be by Sherlock’s side if he returns his feelings like he doesn’t values Sherlock’s friendship or doesn’t love him enough to accept it if Sherlock doesn’t feel the same
Anonymous said: the problem is not that john forgives mary, that’s fake, but he did love her and he decided to spend the rest of his life with her instead of sherlock because he had a relationship with her and thought sherlock couldn’t love him back so john decided that sex was more important for him than to be with sherlock he prefered a relationship with mary than a platonic friendship with Sherlock
Sorry guys, I’m putting these all together because my answer will be pretty much the same for them all.
Look Nonnies, I know. But people still SEVERELY misread S3 John. John DID try to get with Sherlock and he failed. Sherlock misunderstood. John misunderstood. Their whole relationship is based on misunderstandings. John hit on Sherlock on his stag night, for goodness sake. John took Mary because he thought she was the safer of the two; he was afraid Sherlock would break his heart again. And Mary is a skilled manipulator and emotional abuser and has made them both think that they do not need each other.
Look, I love John. He’s a very complex character who is very difficult to understand because unlike Sherlock, he DOESN’T wear his emotions on his sleeve. He hides them. He needs to learn to open up and accept himself before their relationship moves any further, which I believe that S4 is going to focus heavily on.
I think a lot of people mistake our John’s character as the one that fanon turned him into: a homebody, tea making… well… helpmeet who just occasionally takes care of Sherlock and goes out on adventures with him while being in utter fascination of him.
THIS IS NOT JOHN. Please, rewatch the series as a whole and see: Mofftiss has created a John different from all other iterations of John. He is all of these PLUS SO MUCH MORE: he’s a SOLDIER (A CAPTAIN). He’s a DOCTOR. He’s seen shit. He’s had a rough life. He’s addicted to danger and may have latent PTSD. He’s brilliant in his own way, fiercely independent, and Sherlock sees him as an equal. They are partners, and it was only until TAB that Sherlock understood that John wanted it in ALL definitions of the word. Time wasted for both of them, but Sherlock and John will make it work.
I can see the point y’all are trying to make, but no one should have to “redeem themselves” for being confused and misunderstanding someone else’s intentions, and you are severely misunderstood on what the word redemption actually means:
redemption (noun)
- an act of redeeming or atoning for a fault or mistake, or the state of being redeemed.
- deliverance; rescue
- Theology. deliverance from sin; salvation.
- atonement for guilt.
- repurchase, as of something sold.
- paying off, as of a mortgage, bond, or note.
- recovery by payment, as of something pledged.
John is feeling terribly guilty about the whole thing, and YES, he did make a mistake, I do concede that, but it feels like some people want to condemn John for being confused, scared, and depressed. Mary tricked John into a proposal because she already saw he was going to stray. The guilt is the EXACT same crap Mary uses on both John and Sherlock.
Please understand that John will always choose Sherlock; all John and Sherlock have to do is talk. Trust in our dads to make John the man Sherlock needs him to be. He’s ALMOST there. But he will need Sherlock’s help to get there. THAT is why Sherlock had to come to his realization first.
There is a lot about John moving on with Mary that I understand. I do. I’ve thought about John’s motives a lot and discussed with friends again and again.
@inevitably-johnlocked went over all the points quite well above.
One thing that I’ve always believed is John trusted Sherlock with his heart. In s2 he gave up dating and was willing to stay by Sherlock’s side for life. Without anything. No commitment, no discussion. He wasn’t dating women anymore loved him without end. And as far as John knew, romantic feelings would never be returned.
And then Sherlock jumped.
John, the man that has trouble trusting (this is the first thing we learn about him), the man that has struggled his entire life, trusted his heart to someone that committed suicide in front of him. That broke him. It truly did. He grieved like a spouse, a widower, a soul mate. He never got over that.
Two years later, he finally knows he needs to move on. Sherlock is dead. He takes Mary to the grave. This is the first time we see Mary. Think about that. Mary, a symbol of his new life, saying goodbye to his old life that even now he can’t seem to move past.
And then surprise! Sherlock isn’t dead. And instead of Sherlock explaining that he jumped because he was blackmailed, that he spent two years away thinking nothing but of John, that he’s finally back, and he finally wants to tell John that he is his everything too, Sherlock makes a joke.
At this point in Sherlock’s narrative arc Sherlock just didn’t understand how much the betrayal broke John. If he had understood, he would have told John another way. He would have explained everything the moment he saw him.
So from John’s pov, Sherlock is back. He’s still arrogant and doesn’t understand the first thing about John’s pain and betrayal. John does forgive Sherlock. He didn’t fake that. But he can’t trust his heart with him again. He tried that and it almost killed him.
So he trusts his heart with Mary. And he places Sherlock in the “best friend” slot and tries to move on.
But we all know Mary betrayal is worse than Sherlock ever was, and Sherlock only did it to protect the person he loves.
Our dads have set up an incredible story. Don’t worry, John will trust Sherlock again, with his heart and his life, and everything will be fine.
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