I knew George Lucas had some issues writing dialogue, and yes the thing about early drafts is that they are bound to be pretty terrible, but Jesus I had no idea it’d be this bad??
Can you imagine Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher trying to read this with a straight face? God bless editors
(From How Star Wars Conquered The Universe by Chris Taylor)
Mark, Harrison, and Carrie have said in interviews that they improvised most of their lines, because GL’s scripted dialogue was so bad
oh dear god
note to self: never feel bad about anything you write. never ever ever.
I will now copy and paste a bit from Empire Strikes Back that was read aloud in my scripwriting class to the sound of strained giggles and hysterical laughter. Know this version is I think the edited one to follow the film….I think the dialogue was worse in the one we read…maybe
LEIA Oh, you make it so difficult sometimes. HAN I do, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. (he watches her reaction) Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm all right. She lets go of the lever and rubs her sore hand. LEIA Occasionally... (a little smile, haltingly) ... when you aren't acting like a scoundrel. HAN (laughs) Scoundrel? Scoundrel? I like the sound of that. With that, Han takes her hand and starts to massage it. LEIA Stop that. HAN Stop what? Leia is flushes, confused. LEIA Stop that! My hands are dirty. HAN My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of? LEIA (looking right into his eyes) Afraid? Han looks at her with a piercing look. He's never looked more handsome, more dashing, more confident. He reaches out slowly and takes Leia's hand again from where it is resting on a console. He draws it toward him. HAN You're trembling. LEIA I'm not trembling. Then with an irresistible combination of physical strength and emotional power, the space pirate begins to draw Leia toward him... very slowly. HAN You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life. Leia is now very close to Han and as she speaks, her voice becomes an excited whisper, a tone completely in opposition to her words. LEIA I happen to like nice men. HAN I'm a nice man. LEIA No, you're not. You're... He kisses her now, with slow, hot lips. He takes his time, as though he had forever, bending her body backward. She has never been kissed like this before, and it almost makes her faint. When he stops, she regains her breath and tries to work up some indignation, but finds it hard to talk.Now imagine a 30 something teacher reading this aloud trying not to make it sound like a soft porno to a room of giggling 20 somethings….and he was giggling by the end of it too