Fifty-first century pheromones (and Ianto) beat smelly pirates.
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Sparrow: “I’m a captain.”
Harkness: “I’m a captain too.“
Sparrow: “I stole a ship.”
Harkness: “So did I.”
Sparrow: “Pirate”
Harkness: “Con-man, ex-Time Agent.”
Sparrow: “I died.”
Harkness: “Oh, you special snowflake. How many times, once? Oh, poor you.”
Sparrow: “I had Davy Jones’ heart in a jar.”
Harkness: “I had the Doctor’s hand in a jar.”
Sparrow: “Got girls swooning for me.”
Harkness: “Got girls, boys, and aliens swooning for me.”
Sparrow: “I kissed the pirate king.”
Harkness: “I kissed a Time Lord.”
Harkness: “Oh, and by the way I have a gorgeous Welsh boyfriend who can kick your ass without so much as wrinkling his lovely suit. He doesn’t appreciate your stinking up the place with rum.“