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1. Don’t think that being published will make you happy. It will for four weeks, if you are lucky. Then it’s the same old fucking shit.

2. Hemingway was fucking wrong. You shouldn’t write drunk. (See my third novel for details.)

3. Hemingway was also right. ‘The first draft of everything is shit.’

4. Never ask a publisher or agent what they are looking for. The best ones, if they are honest, don’t have a fucking clue, because the best books are the ones that seemingly come from nowhere.

5. In five years time the semi-colon is going to be nothing more than a fucking wink.

6. In five years time every fucking person on Twitter will be a writer.

7. Ignore the fucking snobs. Write that space zombie sex opera. Just give it some fucking soul.

8. If it’s not worth fucking reading, it’s not worth fucking writing. If it doesn’t make people laugh or cry or blow their fucking minds then why bother?

9. Don’t be the next Stephen King or the next Zadie Smith or the next Neil Gaiman or the next Jonathan Safran fucking Foer. Be the next fucking you.

10. Stories are fucking easy. PLOT OF EVERY BOOK EVER: Someone is looking for something. COMMERCIAL VERSION: They find it. LITERARY VERSION: They don’t find it. (That’s fucking it.)

11. No-one knows anything. Especially fucking me. Except:

12. Don’t kill off the fucking dog.

13. Oh, yeah, and lastly: write whatever you fucking want.

Matt Haig, “Some Fucking Writing Tips” (via daxsymbiont)
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jazzforthecaptain:

You know my writing avoidance has gotten pretty damn bad when I’m going to do the dishes instead of writing.

I understand completely.

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jazzforthecaptain:

You know my writing avoidance has gotten pretty damn bad when I’m going to do the dishes instead of writing.

I understand completely.

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I keep randomly squeeing today and whispering “I’m an author” to myself. Still giddy happy.

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Woohoo! I just ordered my proof copy of my book 🙂

It’ll get here about July 2, I’ll go through it one more time, then go about making it actually available to the public.

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nerdylittledude:

hey fanfic readers pro tip if you ever read a fic on ao3 you should leave kudos or something because sometimes authors get really self-conscious when there’s a lot of hits but not a lot of feedback and they wanna take the story down and not write anymore ok

Honestly, this is part of why I haven’t been motivated to write another Jack and River story.

That’s probably awful of me.

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I Write Like. Analyze your writing!


Really? I’ve never read a thing by him. And I tried this with two chapters from my novel and got the same result. Now I’m wondering why. And also thinking maybe I should read one of his books. I guess this is a good thing?