Imagine a conspiracy theorist talking about how they think Cap is still alive and out there somewhere and they’re like ‘yeah but what if his super serum stuff kept his body ALIVE in the ICE and he’s been WORKING FOR THE SECRET MILITARY EVER SINCE-’ but everyone else is just like ‘shut up lol’
okay sorry to add but
What if it was Tony?
His huge project for college is This Theory, and who better to cover it? His own father worked with Cap, and it’s kind of a “Screw You” to his father, working on a Captain America project, something Howard never thought he could do.
He has hours of research put in, a paper carefully proofread and academically professional thanks to vetting by Rhodey, and–
Tony gets laughed out of town. He can’t be serious, right? There’s no way a human would actually survive for seventy years. What about nutrition intakes? Temperatures? Cap may be enhanced, but he’s not Perfection (no matter what Howard would slur late at night).
But Tony still has it. Occasionally, it’ll get brought up on interviews.
Flash forward decades later, and Cap comes out of the ice.
It is literally all over Tony’s twitter:
“GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT ASSHOLES?????? GUESS. TAKE A WILD GUESS.”
He has the link to the paper on his Instagram, shoves it in his asshole-former professor’s face who told him he was wasting his time.
Tony is thriving and best of all?
Steve is the same way. He’s petty, he likes proving people right, and so he tweets about the paper a couple months later, saying: “I know I live with a genius, but wow! He knew about me before any of you!”
There most be some fangirls in Gotham ship Bruce Wayne/Batman.
I’m imagining the fanfic, and it is filling me with glee! “The billionaire playboy shrank back a little from the vigilante. ‘W-what are you doing?’ He couldn’t help noticing his heartbeat had picked up. Batman looked back at him, his gaze expressionless. ‘I’m here to save your life, Mr. Wayne.’”
Bruce probably started the trend.
“Where did this ship even COME FROM?”
“IDK, someone wrote a really popular fic about it two years ago and everyone got on board.”
“Yeah, wasn’t his username grandfatherclock or something like that…”
No, see, this is brilliant because it actually works, because their “personalities” are so opposite that this ship would really appeal. “You need to lighten up, Batman.” “You need to take things more seriously, Mr Wayne.” “When was the last time you had any fun?” “When was the last time you did anything else?”
3hr long arguments about whether the best way to reform Gotham is through the Wayne Foundation charities and rebuilding initiatives or taking down the mobs and crime families that secretly run the city.
At the end, Bruce uses his rich-boy skills to take down a few henchmen – “What, you think I’ve never swung a golf club before?” – and Batman lets himself reluctantly be convinced to go out for ice cream.
(They’ve headcanoned Batman as blond to fit the necessary slash pairing requirements)
The comments are all, “OMG, have you ever noticed how Batman always intervenes when something shady goes down with the Wayne Foundation? I mean, not that it’s like, out of character, foil Penguin’s plot to block a low-income housing proposal so he can put up another casino there, or whatever, he does that for everyone, but have you noticed that he’s involved every time it’s Wayne Foundation? OMG THEY ARE DATING IN REAL LIFE THIS IS TOTALLY CANON!”
It’s the most popular Real Person ship in Gotham.
(Robin: “You know like, half the internet is shipping you with yourself.” Bruce: “I am large, Tim. I contain multitudes.” smirk.)
what other animals have we bred to have a huge variation in sizes like dogs?
why must we play god
let’s not forget cats
Pigs.
Fully grown healthy small breeds clock in between 70-150 lbs. Extreme situation pigs (AKA minimicro teacup etc, which btw teacup puppies are also extreme situations and are not healthy) show up sometimes at less than 50lbs. There are lab breeds (pigs are used in human medical research because of their similarity in organs and tissue composition) that are rumored to be bred “safely” down to 50 lbs but lab pig breeds are pretty tightly kept confidential.
gigantic commercial breeds can weigh 700+lbs when allowed to reach full size. extreme individuals have been recorded over 1500lbs.
here’s a farm pig and a potbelly, but that farm pig is just a regular farm pig. not even one of the huge ones.
And cattle too.
Chianina (an italian draught breed now raised for meat). this is the tallest and heaviest pure breed of cattle.
But holstein-friesians are ridiculously tall. They don’t weigh as much, but they’re suuuuuuuuper tall.
vs a wide variety of mini breeds.
mini zebus
mini texas longhorns
there’s a ton of miniature breeds. A TON. Some are traditional/natural breeds, IE the entire breed is that small. Some are miniaturized versions of full sized breeds (like the longhorns above. There’s also mini holsteins, mini angus, mini herefords, you name it)
Oh my??? MINI LONGHORNS
basically any time humans domesticated an animal they went “now let’s make a small one and a big one”
