Tag: superwood

jazzforthecaptain:

• who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave
  Jack would put the peeps in the microwave, under the guise of showing Castiel something fascinating. Castiel would watch this procedure with interest, be fascinated by the resulting mayhem, and proceed to microwave 456184104 peeps afterward in all different shapes, colors and flavors, because they all blow up differently.
• who forgot to put the cat outside before sex
  Cas, because it just never seemed like a relevant thing to do. And when the cat decides to walk up Jack’s back in the middle of sex, a threesome comment will be made.
• who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit
  Neither. Security protocol breach! Seriously though Torchwood probably has its own fucking Etsy account at this point, not to mention Vine, YouTube, Twitter and Tumblr. 
• who breaks the most phones
  Castiel has fried so, so many phones in a fit of anger. And there was that one time he left it in the pocket of his slacks during a really fucking mindblowing quickie. This is why they check Cas for tech these days before going at it.
• who dies first
  Aha. Ahahaa. AHaahaHAhaHaHAhahaaaa *choke*
• which one I could see as being lactose intollerant
  I’d believe it if Cas was lactose intolerant, god knows what weird effect an angel’s Grace could have on a vessel over time. Or Jimmy might have been, which then human!Cas would get the misery of experiencing. Jack would be externally sympathetic until Cas farts with every step on the way up the stairs from the basement and, I mean, Cas farting would be like a cat farting, glaring at you disapprovingly while making unholy sounds out the back. Jack would probably end up metaphorically rolling around on the rug.
• who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t
  Oh good grief, both of them. And they get super ridiculously pissed when the other one (or the team) sees them fuck up.
• who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed
  Neither one, really. Given how rarely I imagine they’d actually sleep when they’re in the same vicinity, in my head they’re usually all tangled up in each other. Cas gets overstimulated easily and likes to sleep pressed up hard against Jack at night because it’s calming. Jack likes feeling Cas’s arm around his stomach like a seatbelt. Makes him feel needed. If they did fight in bed I think one of them would leave, rather than anyone need to be kicked out. And go throw a vase at the fireplace.
• who uses the computer most
  Castiel. And I say this because all the Torchwood paperwork would fall to him, because he’s the only one of them willing to ever fucking do it, period. Jack’s addicted to his Torchwood software, but usually he’s got staff to do things for him.