Hi Bee! How much do you think John suspects of Sherlock’s feelings for him? His face when he sees the footage of Sherlock dragging him out of the fire- did he get an inkling right then and there? What does he think at the end of HLV? Thank you for you input! #tjlc #<3
So I started typing this as a normal post and then I realized it was way more fun to do it as a ramble through John’s thoughts a la LSIT. It is soooo much fun.
I think seeing the fire footage was the final piece of the puzzle for John. He suspects more and more heavily throughout the best man speech. To backtrack, when he asks Sherlock to be his best man at the beginning of TSOT, he thinks Sherlock already thinks of him as a friend because he says “of course” when Sherlock asks to confirm that John thinks of him as a best friend. You don’t say someone is your best friend without thinking that they think of you also as a friend, generally their best friend too. He is startled (“getting a bit scary now’) when Sherlock shows that he didn’t know that (through not speaking). “Wait, didn’t you know you were my best friend? Aren’t I your best friend? Aren’t we mates? I thought we were at least mates. I mean, not more than mates, course not, I’m getting married, of course it’s to a woman no matter what Mrs. Hudson thinks. You idiot, how plain do I have to make this? Yes, best friend, best man, whatever. Jesus.”
So after that scene, John knows for sure that Sherlock thinks of him as a friend, best friend even (best friendship is usually reciprocal). The best man speech enlightens John that Sherlock’s best friendliness runs deeper than he thought, given that when he tried on the bench to tell Sherlock about his strength of feeling, Sherlock up and leaves, which to John means Sherlock doesn’t care, though we know that’s not true. “Can I please tell you your friendship has meant a lot to me? Oh, you just walked away while I was talking. Thanks, you massive dickhead. Mary gets me so much better.”
John is so moved by the speech that he hugs him. “Oh, Sherlock likes me after all. A lot. Wow, a lot! Hooray! Life is great! Everything I ever wanted! Sherlock isn’t a cold unfeeling robot and I get to have sex with someone for the rest of my life! Good enough!”
Then at the end of TSOT, with that shatteringly clear expression Sherlock gives John, when John swallows and turns away, I think that is the first time John realizes Sherlock’s feelings are actually romantic. “Oh shit, what has just happened, does he like me like me, he didn’t respond when I groped him on the stag night, I thought that meant—but I just got married, and I love this woman, and Sherlock likes her too, and she likes Sherlock, and for once everyone likes everyone, and Mary is pregnant, but why does Sherlock look so sad, I better express my repressed feelings through interpretive dance, run away run away…“
In between TSOT and the beginning of HLV he avoids Sherlock entirely. “Fuck. Can’t even go near him. Better dream about him instead in a way implying that losing what we had is equivalent to the horror of war while throwing off the strangling hand of my loving wife—no, that’s unfair, she loves me, I love her, right? RIGHT. Better eat my feelings and then ride out my feelings on a bicycle to even come near to and yet fail to reach the level of endorphins I used to get hanging around that guy and then I need to stomp around and snap at people and maybe punch them while I’m at it. NO, you can’t come on my violence spree, Mary, you wouldn’t understand. Oh wait, of course you care about my safety. Course you do. Sorry, that was unfair of me, I’m just used to dickheads drugging me and faking their death and stuff. Yes, you can come. I guess.”
"Sherlock is back on drugs? Why would he…? I don’t understand. Has he been on drugs all this time? I can’t trust him at all. Oh, for a case? Everything is always for a case…fine. No news there. WHERE"S MY CHAIR. Why would he remove my favorite chair! Dick. Better threaten his brother to show I’m on his side. Maybe he’ll put my chair back.”
“Wtf half-naked woman wtffffff. WHO MOVED THE KETTLE THE KETTLE IS SACRED WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU. The only one who really knows him—no that’s ME lady, ME. I’M the only one who—Sherlock agrees with her?!? Bullshit, this must be for a case—but Sherlock is putting on a very thorough act. Is it an act? Of course it’s an act. Oh wow, no, no, they’re totally snogging. I’ve never seen him do that with anyone, not even Irene. ASJCKKDHE. Wtf. My face cannot hold all my feels. I’m going to stomp around the room. Dinner? I’ll give you dinner. Thoroughly. In your pants. NO! I mean. Can’t we go shoot someone like we used to? Please. Petty trespassing? That’ll do.”
“You’re proposing to this poor girl for—wtf is wrong with you? Wtf is wrong with me for liking you?”
"HUMAN ERROR? HUMAN FUCKING ERROR? Are all of your feelings human error? Did you even mean what you said in the speech? I can’t. Just.”
“Shit, he got shot. I didn’t want that to happen. No matter how much of a dick he is. Mary? Why is my wife’s name on your lips? Better not think about that. He ran away? From the hospital? Why—who does that? Must be in danger. Boltholes? How did I not know about these boltholes? Maybe Janine was right after all, I don’t know him after all, this is depressing. Thank God I’ve still got my loving wife who—Fuck. Fuck this shit.”
“And now this is my fault. For having an addiction. You shit. You massive shit. And she agrees. Perfect. I thought I’d found a nice normal woman, but it turns out I’m a total masochist and my type is sociopaths who lie to me. Fantastic. Don’t die though. Not again.”
[period of time when Sherlock is in hospital] “Can’t trust Sherlock. Can’t trust Mary. Life is just so great. Well. I know Mary loves me. She’s not who I thought she was, and she’s really fucking scary, but she still loves me, and while I feel utterly betrayed in every way, we’re having a child together. Maybe it’s not that bad that she lied. Maybe. People do silly things. I lied about my height on my driver’s license, after all. Sherlock lied about being dead. We all lie. Sherlock is totally unreliable as a human being anyway and I’ll never understand him. He seems to think Mary and I belong together. Frankly I think he and Mary make a better match because they’re both lying liars who lie and I’m going to say that really passive-aggressively. Oh well, Sherlock’s usually right about things. And. Baby. Okay. I give up. Mary, let’s give it another shot.”
“Holy fuck Sherlock just drugged his whole family and my pregnant wife and what a messed-up dick he is and how did you know I brought my gun fine let’s go shoot things thank God this Christmas was getting a bit too touchy feely anyway. I could stay with my pregnant wife and make sure she’s okay, but I won’t, because I’d rather hang out with this nutso and avoid my feelings like the fact that I’m never actually going to trust Mary again even though I said I would and I’m trying really hard to move past her massive deception even though it’s a lot to ask of me. Sherlock may be a dick but I know where I stand with him.”
“Oh God Sherlock ran straight into a fire to save me I mean I know he did but he just looks so upset here and I thought he was faking all that friendship stuff he said human error after all whose error so many errors all the errors I don’t understand I don’t know what’s real anymore I don’t understand anyone and Magnussen seems to think Sherlock thinks of me as a damsel in distress I’m fucking not but Sherlock’s not arguing oh fuck you mean I’m so important to Sherlock he’d betray his brother to protect my marriage what just what does everyone think we’re in love it’s beginning to get hard to argue…but…really? Why’d he want me to get back with Mary then? I don’t understand.”
"Flick me in the face? I’ve been through worse in the past three years, you moist fucking beanpole. If I can survive Sherlock and Mary, I can survive this. Afghanistan doesn’t even come close. Can’t do anything about it anyway, it’s not like someone’s just going to put a bullet in your brain or—”
“FUCK.”
“That. Thing you did. That was. Um. Good.”
“And now you’re leaving? Again? I…don’t go. I guess you have to. You’ve got your life after all, and it’s better than jail, and I’ve got my pregnant wife, but…Don’t go. This isn’t happening. Six months, and then you’ll be back, right? I can live with…Oh. You don’t really seem to believe that either. Don’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutitdon’t—Wait…what are you about to say? Is this it? Are you actually going to tell me—oh, fuck you, you tosser. Should have known. No, I’m not going to name my child after the man who broke my heart in a thousand ways because every time I say her name it’ll break my heart again, do I look insane? Don’t answer that, there is nothing the matter with me. Don’t go. Just don’t…oh fuck, no more time. Should we, um, hug? Hand shake? After everything? Well…that’s more British. And manly. We’re men. We’re British men who repress our emotions. Yes. I’m comfortable with that. Here’s my hand. This is it. The last time I’ll ever see you, touch you, talk to you. Hold it together. Okay. Mary’s here for me. She’s scary, but she’s here for me. Goodbye. Fuck.”
"OHMYGOD HE’S COMING BACK THANK YOU MORIARTY YOU BEAUTIFUL PSYCHOPATH!!!”
(“Wait, why is Mary so upset? WHO CARES SHERLOCK IS COMING BACK YAY”)
parentification does not have the same power dynamics as parent/child
parentification does not have the same power dynamics as parent/child
There isn’t a simple reading of the brothers’ situation, and the parent/child dynamics are just one part of this tangled web. Dean’s made decisions for Sam all season (and in earlier seasons), often assuming by forced circumstance or by choice a degree of authority that he…
In HLV, I think that the very first comforting/calming thing that Sherlock goes looking for in his mind palace is John — but when he opens that door in the hallway, he encounters Mary in her wedding dress and gets shot (tangled associations). So he goes in search of Redbeard instead. But Redbeard was always the second option.
loudest-subtext-in-television-d:
Oh, holy shit. This is good. VERY GOOD. THANK YOU.
Rewatching it, it goes like this:
Mycroft: ”There must be something in this ridiculous memory palace that can calm you down. Find it.”
[Sherlock starts running down the stairs that look like the ones from ASiP, the first visual hint we see of John.]
Mycroft: ”The east wind is coming, Sherlock. It’s coming to get you.”
[Sherlock runs down the stairs more, opens a door, gets shot by Mary in her wedding dress, falls backward screaming.]
[Sherlock runs through Roland Kerr-Further Education College from ASiP, also reminiscent of John, opens a different door, gets Redbeard.]
Yeah, I think he was looking for the thought of John to calm him down — hence all the stuff from ASiP — but it was immediately connected to John marrying Mary, and Mary shooting Sherlock, so he had to find something else. Thinking about John just then wouldn’t have been calming.
Awww, jesus. This is killing me.
Stone Romancer, John Watson: Some thoughts on John’s Sexuality
It seems to me that a man who, upon sensing that someone is making an assumption that his (male) flatmate is his boyfriend, would utter the phrase “I’m not gay!” is unlikely to comfortably and happily identify as bisexual.
Mrs Hudson is always right, or: Holy Shit, I believe in canon Johnlock.
loudest-subtext-in-television:
I read all the meta on how Johnlock is the endgame, how nothing makes sense if it isn’t and how there have been coded, subtextual references all along. And I’ve wavering back and forth in my belief, every rewatching/discussion of ASiP confirming it, and every interview snippet with TPTB weakening it.
Then I rewatched TSoT. And I actually listened to Mrs Hudson.
Mrs Hudson has two big scenes in this episode: both conversations about the effect marriage has on friendship, one with Sherlock on the day of the wedding, one with John after the stag night (in real time, their order would have been reversed).
During her talk with Sherlock, she forces him to directly face his fears about how the marriage will change the relationship between him and John (which will be a major theme of the episode). She tells him about Margaret, her best friend and bridesmaid, who called Mrs Hudson’s wedding day “the end of an era” and then went on to leave early. Sherlock absolutely refuses to engage with her; he first denies that marriage changes anything, then he cruelly recalls her husband’s eventual execution and finally orders her to get him biscuits (“make me a sammich”, a classic macho tactic to shut women up and belittle them).
As the next shot makes all too clear, her remarks have hit too close to home. He eyes John’s empty chair sadly before he walks over to his tuxedo, his battle dress for the day.
This scene is a classic case of foreshadowing. By the end of the episode, a baby will have come into the mix (a definite game changer), Sherlock will have left the wedding early and by the time of HLV Sherlock and John haven’t seen each other in a month. John’s chair will have been moved.
The second conversation takes place in Mrs Hudson’s kitchen, where she makes a very hung-over John one last fry-up. He reacts the same way Sherlock does, by denying that anything will change. Again she insists: “Well, marriage changes everything, John.” John doesn’t react as violently as Sherlock, he asks her to explain, he is prepared to listen. He doesn’t brush her (bad) experiences with marriage aside, he actively asks her about them.
And she says: “Well, if you’ve found the right one – the person that you click with – it’s the best thing in the world.” And John says that he has.
This, after we have been watching two whole seasons of John “clicking” with Sherlock. Seriously, keep that line in mind and rewatch “A Study in Pink”. Both John and Mrs Hudson quickly reaffirm that they are talking about Mary here, but as other people have already pointed out, we don’t get to see that happening with Mary. If we think “John Watson”, the first name that comes to mind is not Mary Morstan. Even if you take any romantic meaning out of that statement, from their first meeting John Watson and Sherlock are the click to end all clicks. Well.
But the scene is not over yet. John asks about her marriage, and she explains how, oh no, he cannot compare her marriage, because she never thought she’d found the right one, “It was just a whirlwind thing for us”. Flashback to TEH, “I know it hasn’t been long”, and yet John asks her to marry him, because she’s turned his life around.
Mrs. Hudson’s tale grows darker: there was so much she didn’t know about her husband that came out bit by bit. He ran a drug cartel, he cheated on her and he got arrested for “blowing someone’s head off”. Again, there’s foreshadowing for HLV: John gets to know his wife’s dark secret, and she shoots Sherlock in the chest. She’s presented as not quite as bad as Mrs Hudson’s husband (her assassin days are in the past, she doesn’t quite kill Sherlock), but there is a very clear parallel. Now, some people have proposed that one way to solve the “baby-problem” would be to make it not John’s (so Mary can take it with her, it can live with its real father etc.), so who knows, maybe the cheating-parallel will be drawn as well in series 4. Or the cheating is simply analogous to the way Mary was lying about her identity and her past… Also, remember how it was Sherlock who ensured that Mrs Hudson’s husband would be executed. (Mary Moran will totally be coming true in series 4, is what I’m trying to say.)
This conversation with John certainly gives us an exciting glimpse into Mrs Hudson’s back story, but ultimately it doesn’t tell us much about her we didn’t know already. That she had a criminal husband who was executed in Florida years ago was established in S1E1, and while it’s nice to see it fleshed out, that alone wouldn’t justify giving it that much screen time. What this scene (and the one before with Sherlock) lays out for us is the essential trajectory of the relationship between John and Sherlock:
They click. They’re right for each other and the two them together could be the best thing in the world. John’s marriage with an ex-assassin is something he got swept along in, but eventually her deceit and her criminal past will catch up with her and Sherlock will have proven his complete devotion to John. Now, Mrs Hudson hasn’t found The One You Click With after her husband (instead, she seems to have picked up a duplicitous bigamist in Mr Chatterjee – or maybe that has been sorted out?), but for John, the answer should be loudly, resoundingly clear.
And Mrs Hudson, Shipper On Deck since day one, will have been right all along.
(And if I’m wrong, and this isn’t what’s going on in these scenes, I can just say, damn, what a wasted opportunity. The breaches of Pratchett’s Theory of Narrative Causality are so severe, they should be made to pay a fine.)
This is a good read.
When I get to writing up TEH I have some things to say about the related idea that Mrs. Hudson is intentionally trying to push John and Sherlock together romantically with those conversations; she shipped them from the first time they stepped foot in 221B and kept making assumptions no matter how many girlfriends John brought over. Her “live and let live” comment to John when he tells her Sherlock wasn’t his boyfriend (when they still thought Sherlock was dead) gave me vibes of her feeling that she doesn’t really get what sorts of sexual arrangements young queer people might get up to nowadays, but she knows what she saw between the two of them and she refuses to believe John wasn’t in love with him.
Note Mrs. Hudson never actually says Sherlock is John’s “boyfriend” or even implies anything sexual. The things she implies don’t need labels or sexual actions attached: she asks stuff like if they had a “domestic.” She reads John’s blog where he keeps saying he’s not gay and not in a relationship with Sherlock. In The Blind Banker she brings up a tray of food for Sarah, so she saw that. In A Scandal in Belgravia she meets Jeanette, John’s girlfriend at Christmas, and John even comes to her when Sherlock is composing asking whether he’s ever had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Mrs. Hudson knows how Sherlock is, and she knows they weren’t in an official relationship. Mrs. Hudson isn’t Irene Adler, she’s not the show’s sex expert, but she was an exotic dancer and we’re not supposed to believe she’s sexually oblivious or something. Mrs. Hudson might suspect they have sex now and again — I imagine the thought has to have crossed her mind — or she might not, but it doesn’t really matter: when she makes her comments, they just pertain to the feelings she perceives them to have for one another.
It always kills me when Mrs. Hudson sobs, “Oh Sherlock,” just before John hugs him during the best man speech. You have to wonder what all is included in that. Mrs. Hudson and Molly are both set up as parallels to John’s marriage, and it’s suggested throughout TSoT that Molly knows that Sherlock is in love with John. It would make sense that Mrs. Hudson is like Molly in that way too, especially given that she’s been saying it from day one.
