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So I had this quick little ficlet pop in my head:

John stumbled as they were pushed into the small cell to sleep it off. Sherlock mumbled a deduction at the cop that was closing the door, then all but threw himself down on the tiny bunk and almost immediately started snoring. Prat.

With a sigh, John sunk to a seat, leaning against the bunk. Sherlock’s hand was hanging down and he looked at those elegant fingers. I don’t mind, he’d said. And then they’d been interrupted. Bugger.

With a thunk, John tipped his head back against the wall. Stupid. He was getting married tomorrow. To a very nice woman that hadn’t faked her death for two years. Who hadn’t left him grieving in silence. Wanker.

Sighing, John ran his fingers along Sherlock’s, just feeling the bones. The skin was rougher than it had been two years ago. The detective had been through some things, John could see that much. Not that Sherlock would tell him anything of course. Twat.

“I’m getting married tomorrow,” he said out loud. Mumbled. Leaning forward he rest his forehead against the back of Sherlock’s hand. “Should be getting married to you.” Sodding hell.

It was true, he knew it in his heart even if he couldn’t say it aloud. He’d loved Sherlock Holmes for a very long time. He’d mourned him harder than he’d ever mourned anyone. Tried to crawl into a bottle for a time, something he’d always swore he’d never do. But Sherlock had driven him to it. Cock.

Pulling back a bit, John made sure he was still snoring, sound echoing around them. He dropped his head and kissed the back of his hand, then leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. Morning would be here and with it a wicked hangover. Then the wedding and whatever the hell Sherlock

was  going to say in his best man speech. Probably read straight from his blog or something. Arse.

John closed his eyes and felt gravity pulling him downward. One hand reached over to entwine his fingers with Sherlock’s, though he’d never admit it. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, and Sherlock never did make it easier. Bastard.

(also on AO3)

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anotherwellkeptsecret:

nondeducible:

so writemeastoryofsolitude and i were wondering how on earth mofftiss are going to tackle the johnlock wedding, here are a few ideas:

  • it would be a small, intimate ceremony just for closest friends and family, complete opposite of john and mary’s lavish wedding
  • mike stamford is john’s best man, papa greg is sherlock’s
  • harry actually showing up
  • mycroft looking extra smug as if it’s all down thanks to him
  • mummy and daddy holmes, and mrs hudson all crying through the whole ceremony
  • since food equals sex, john feeding sherlock the first piece of the wedding cake
  • sherlock not even caring about going anywhere nice for their sex holiday since all he cares about is being with john, but john wanting to do this for sherlock because he deserves it, they both do
  • mycroft getting them a ridiculously extravagant wedding gift and john being concerned it’s way too much but mycroft insisting like “please, if this had happened a hundred years ago, do you have any idea how large a dowry i would have had to give you for finally taking him off my hands”, john like “….he’s not a woman” and mycroft giving him a smile and an appraising look like “the point still stands, i’d have paid truly exorbitant sums to ensure my little brother was happy and healthy and engaged with life, but it turns out i don’t have to”
  • neither sherlock nor john want to stop dancing the entire night of their wedding
  • at the end of the night john being like “okay we’ve been dancing for hours, my feet and knees are killing me, and you’ve spent the last three dances not-so-subtly grinding against me and groping my arse so the only dancing i want to do with you right now is strictly horizontal and on a bed” and sherlock practically sprinting from the room, shouting goodbyes at everyone on his way and “WE’RE OFF TO START OUR SEX HOLIDAY, GRAHAM DON’T TAKE ON ANY INTERESTING CASES WHILE I’M GONE, INDEFINITELY, ON A SEX HOLIDAY WITH JOHN, MY HUSBAND”, while john follows him apologising without really meaning it and finally giving up and just running after sherlock and grinning
  • sherlock deciding to change his name to watson-holmes and john being like “you don’t have to do this, your name should maintain recognisability for your work” and sherlock giving him a look “john, you’ve been a part of that work since we met, and besides holmes and watson, i think those names should ought to remain connected in everyone’s minds forever, don’t you?”
  • john changing his name too because together forever is together forever
  • sherlock going on john’s blog and making a post with size 60 font saying “NOT CURRENTLY ACCEPTING CASES, WE ARE ON SEX HOLIDAY”
  • john commenting on the post like “you were just getting ice, come back to bed”
  • sherlock commenting back “YOU come back to bed :-)”
  • sherlock changing john’s profile photo to one from their wedding and changing the description to include “married to sherlock watson-holmes”
  • sherlock rewriting their wiki articles to mention their marriage at least once a paragraph
  • holmes parents making john call them mum and dad
  • the first time john and sherlock visit holmes parents and john calls them mum and dad he feels a bit awkward but the beaming smiles sherlock and his parents give him make him feel like he finally has the loving and supportive family he always longed for
  • first christmas dinner as a married couple at holmes parents’ house, john and daddy holmes chatting in the sitting room while sherlock “helps” his mum in the kitchen which is more “let’s mummy embarrass him by complimenting john and the effect married life on sherlock”
  • mycroft joining them in the kitchen and making a comment like “yes, i heard those effects quite vociferously last night, you may want to relocate to the upstairs bedroom when you return to baker street if only to spare mrs hudson” and sherlock retorting “you may want to relocate to a kitchen surface that john didn’t fuck me up against last night then”, mummy being absolutely scandalised for about 5 seconds and then being like “i know what you mean sherlock, when your father and i got married we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, why in this very kitchen….” and the rest getting drowned out with truly horrifying screams of “MUMMY!!!!” from both brothers 

@mofftiss hit us up if you need more ideas

I’m so happy.

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what an awkward wedding

just-sort-of-happened:

mostlikelydefinitelymad:

usher: david (mary’s ex who is still in love with her)

best man: sherlock (john’s almost who is still in love with him)

maid of honor: janine (cam’s assistant)

bride: mary (pregnant former assassin with a fake identity)

groom: john (danger addicted doctor who is in love with the best man)

ringbearer: a mini sherlock who enjoys morbid photos

photographer: the mayfly man (murderer who wants to kill john’s ex)

guests: mrs hudson (ships the groom/best man), greg (inspector who has watched sherlock/john fall in love, has feelings for molly), molly (pathologist, in love with the best man, possibly has feelings for greg), tom (molly’s fiance, possible assassin), major sholto (john’s ex who is still in love with him), john’s cousin (who doesn’t like mary) and the rest who are all probably a hot mess too

Tom’s gay, too, I reckon.

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mostlikelydefinitelymad:

john when mycroft deduces him: wtf stay out of my therapists’ files you horses ass, just leave me alone and stay away from sherlock

john when wiggins deduces him: no absolutely not we’re not doing this ill sprain your other arm if you don’t stop it, those are my secrets and none of your business and thank you very much we’re having a lot of heterosexual sex I mean she’s pregnant isn’t she? I proved that we do have sex so you’re wrong you’re so wrong

john when irene deduces him: you know what? no. some of what you said might be true but just….stop all of this and tell sherlock you’re alive or you’ll live to regret it

john when sherlock deduces him: wow that was amazing, incredible, you’re a real live angel that fell from the heavens and into my lap please can we go to dinner together and have sex and live forever at 221B