🐶 AU

jon-lox:

jon-lox:

john and sherlock meet on the same bench at a dog park

sherlock tries to impress this hot military man by deducing all the people there 

he turns over to look at john’s shocked face only to see it turn into smugness – john also begins to deduce……the dogs. their old and new injuries, which ball belongs to which dog, how old the dogs are

astounded, sherlock says “what do you do for a living?”

john says “i’m a vet.” 😏😏😏

& sherlock just melts like 😍😍😍😍  I FOUND A HOT MAN WHO LOVES DOGS

hounds of baskerville is still the same but instead of killing the dog at the end, john just sidles right up to the dog and starts murmuring things like “it’s okay, it’s alright we’re not gonna hurt you, we’re here to save you”. 

eventually he gets the dog calm and submissive enough; sherlock’s jaw drops watching this man tame it by pat pats on its head and belly scritches

john is a dog whisperer and nobody dies

mycroft: *looks at the report about john’s dinner reservation*
mycroft: this shit went too far
mycroft: *learns serbian, brings sherlock back to london and gives him a makeover*
mycroft: now go

teapotsubtext:

knowing ben and martin have the acting chops to deliver the exact same lines but dial up the subtlety by like six points exactly makes me want to scream

Biology Has Its Way – janto321 (FaceofMer) – Sherlock (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Biology Has Its Way – janto321 (FaceofMer) – Sherlock (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

conversationswithjohnlock:

conversationswithbenedict:

Sherlock blinking and talking nonstop in his head, instead of out loud? Yeah. He’s going to do that in bed, too, the first time.

I must admit I believed this would never happen
John Watson in my bed
John is in my bed and he is taking off my clothes and he is very good at taking off my clothes but then again John Watson is talented in many unexpected ways
For example John Watson is kissing me now and despite having dissected many human tongues over the years I never would have imagined that a tongue could do THIS but then again it is John Watson’s tongue
Such interesting textures and sensations warm wet slippery this really should be vile and repulsive this commingling of saliva but mmm oh was that me I think I made that sound
I hope John Watson will not think he has injured me as I did make an alarmingly loud moaning sound just then
Where is he going with that tongue of his I have discovered I quite like it in my mouth
Oh well that is very interesting considering the male nipple is a vestige of the embryonic stage and serves the male of the species no real purpose holy GOD what YES upon further study the purpose appears to be primarily one of pleasure what is he OH that is rather YES stimulating
And here we have a perfect example of brain synapses firing and nerve endings communicating throughout the BODY I will have to study this again, at a different OHHH my nipple is connected to my penis I’m not sure I knew that before
Hello penis
I have observed John Watson’s hands on many occasions and thought I was aware of their many capabilities but he is so full of surprises is my John Watson JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH his hand is on my penis or should I say erection pull it together Holmes don’t lose the plot now HE IS STROKING MY ERECTION HIS HANDS ARE OF GOD
How did my legs spread themselves of their own volition and where is John going with that mouth and those hands I am not done with my observations where is
OH GOD WHAT? HOW? FOCUS HOLMES! John Watson’s tongue is stroking my erection up and down FRENULUM! FRENULUM! in a manner lewd and entirely fascinating I must say had I known
FOR THE LOVE OF perhaps it had not occurred to me he would be able to fit both in his MOUTH concurrently OH OH OH but he certainly can there is no denying the evidence
A FINGER is that a FINGER I BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT IS REFERRED TO AS DIGITAL STIMULATION OF THE AN-AN-ANUS
THE PROSTATE IS A GLAND THAT PRODUCES
HOLY FUCK
FOCUS
FOCUS
IT APPEARS I AM APPROACHING CLIMAX TWELVE MINUTES THIRTY-SIX SECONDS SOONER THAN PREVIOUS ESTIMATIONS ALLOWED
HOT HOT HOT TIGHT TIGHT WET SUCKING SUCKING
HOW IS THIS EVEN
OH OH OH YES IMPENDING ORGASM ORGAS- ORG- OR-

And at the end of it all, John says, “Are you aware you said all of that out loud?” And Sherlock is speechless.

Thank you, @green-violin-bow, for sending this to me!