The 401 is where they weed out the weak. You don’t drive on the 401 to get somewhere. You do it for the challenge. You do it to test your abilities like some Uchiha clan shit. Rush hour 401 is the breaking point between heaven and earth. Are you going to descend into a Lovecraftian hell or reach Nirvana? You will double the size of your biceps death-gripping your steering wheel. There is no time for rest or pulling off over into an exit. Bodily functions shut down. Cars on the side of the road and crashes closing lanes are a constant reminder that you are driving the razor’s edge. Death is mere seconds away at any given moment. They’re always doing construction but nothing is ever finished. It’s a constant roadblock for the hell of it. This is the Dark Souls 2 of Canadian driving. git good or get out
And that’s just normal mode. Have fun in the six-month long Ontario winter and enter some top-tier level of highway driving.
EVO2015. EVO2018.
I heard that babies are born on the 401, grow up on the 401, and take over for their parents as driver of the family car on the 401
What the fuck.
I live right by the 401 i never knew it was so weird i just thought all highways were like that
i like how the universally accepted setting for a coffee shop au is a slightly modified starbucks. what about a coffee shop au au where instead of starbucks… it’s tim hortons.
Because “I’ll have a large double double.” doesn’t fill a word count like “I’ll have a venti no-foam, half-caff, fat-free, soy latte with extra caramel drizzle.” does.
Better yet, regular Starbucks customer ends up in small town Saskatchewan and has to figure out how to order at a Tim Hortons.
I’ll have a venti…
Sorry, is that a large or an extra large?
Umm, extra large mocha…
Sorry, we don’t have that. We can get you a hot chocolate though.
Oh, I was looking for something cold umm…
Okay, Extra Large Ice Capp!
other Canadian variants:
– You are in Toronto. The competition between the four Starbucks and the seven Second Cup on the same street is strong. The new employee is a former Tim Horton’s barista who doesn’t know the fancy coffee terms but makes a mean sandwich.
– You are in Gatineau. Half of your regular speak french and the other half english. You learn to know which language to use by the thinking sound they make while looking at the menu
– You work at Niagara Falls. The customers keep trying to pay you with american money.
– You work in Montreal. You are the only barista on staff who speak english.
– VARIANT! You work in Montreal. You are the only barista on staff who speak french.
The middle of April marks the end of hibernation for most wild Canadians. They will be hungry after the long winter and will flock to Tim’s to forage for sustenance. In the next few weeks, layers upon layers of clothing will be shed until the pouffy marshmallow body type of winter Canadians changes into their more sleek summer coat.
