merindab: I feel like “adhd” is the stupidest damn excuse but it’s really not.
poedameron-tony: Yeah, because it’s literally the lack of the ability to… just do things.
merindab: Like you’re looking at yourself like “get your shit together. it’s not THAT hard?” People don’t realize how much WE beat ourselves up too. That’s why calling us lazy doesn’t help. We already feel like maybe we are.
poedameron-tony: It’s like… “I understand you are frustrated with me, but trust me, my internalized hatred is more debilitating than your disappointment.”
merindab: I feel like “adhd” is the stupidest damn excuse but it’s really not.
poedameron-tony: Yeah, because it’s literally the lack of the ability to… just do things.
merindab: Like you’re looking at yourself like “get your shit together. it’s not THAT hard?” People don’t realize how much WE beat ourselves up too. That’s why calling us lazy doesn’t help. We already feel like maybe we are.
poedameron-tony: It’s like… “I understand you are frustrated with me, but trust me, my internalized hatred is more debilitating than your disappointment.”
you are holding a thing. its in your hands. you look away for five seconds. you are no longer holding the thing and you cannot find it anywhere. you did not move from your spot. you do not know how this happened
you are scrolling down a website. you see something nice and you decide to read more about it. you scroll up to look into it. you see something nice. you decide you want to read more about it. you forgot the first thing you were going to search. you scroll down in hope to remember. you see something nice. you decide you want to read more about it.
there is a tear in one of your favourite outfits. you decide you can fix it. you grab the sewing supplies and put them down while you research how to do it. an hour passes. you wonder why there are sewing supplies by your bed.
where are your glasses?
there are three cups on your bedside table. you venture into the kitchen. you decide you want some water. you bring it back to your room. there are four cups on your bedside table.
youve had a towel around your shoulders for the past three hours. you are going to shower.
you’re watching a movie. you pick up your phone to have something to do while you watch the movie. you pause the movie. two days pass. you still havent finished the movie.
repeat to yourself so you wont forget, you think. repeat repeat repeat repeat. you no longer remember anything else but it. you look to the side. blue is a nice colour. what were you thinking about?
your leg wont stop shaking. it has a life of its own. you are not in control.
you wake from a nightmare, sweating: you dreamed someone erased your whiteboard. you turn on the light and heave a sigh of relief. it’s all still there. the list of things you were going to plant last spring but didn’t. the sweater design you knit one sleeve of. the christmas gift plans from 2009.
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I have a fic that I want to write, but I feel like every chapter installment would be short. I have nothing against short fics myself, but I have this weird guilt complex about short fics being less good than long ones? I’d just like some advice/ reassurance. I just can’t really draw out these scenes, if that makes any sense?
Thanks!
It’s not the length that matters, it’s the impact.
Okay so I write short fics, mostly, and I too suffer sometimes from the “this is short so it’s not as valuable” demon.
I got told the BEST analogy at 221B con from @patternofdefiance and I really do need to print out and put it somewhere I can see it.
It’s like walking into a room and there’s a tray of these beautiful gourmet cupcakes. They’re still wonderful and delicious and sometimes all you want is a morsel.
They aren’t less good just because they’re cupcakes instead of three-tiered wedding cake or something. Sometimes you want a cupcake and not a whole cake.
Plus, like tiger said, it’s not the length, it’s the impact. I often joke that my fics are bigger on the inside.
Feel free to come talk to me, I’ll be happy to discuss if you’d like.
