hey do you think crowley would just buy the most expensive available mac or would he build some kind of horrifying $8000 souped-up alienware rig that he then never uses. apple’s a pretty evil company so i’m leaning towards them
update: never mind i have definitively answered the question. there is a
$20,000 laptop called the ego bentley. it is called that because it is
associated with the car company bentley. its casing is made of “bentley
leather” with “authentic bentley crossover hand-stitching.” its frame is
made of white gold. its specs are SHIT. crowley owns this laptop you
can’t change my mind
sometimes i worry how quickly it seems to be fading from public consciousness that the american people didn’t actually choose donald trump
he lost the popular vote
HE LOST THE POPULAR VOTE
by kind of a lot
it still matters that all those people out there DID vote for them, it still matters that our electoral system is so fucked and so undemocratic as to elect him anyways, but i feel it’s really important we remember that the majority of americans chose hilary clinton and not donald trump
for a lot of reasons, we need to not let it fade out of public top-of-mind knowledge that donald trump was not the choice of the american people
1. You have an enormous black dog which must be walked for four hours daily or it puts its excess energy to use in lighting witch-fires in awkward places. One day you were feeling a little ill, so you asked the unreliable narrator to walk the dog instead. The unreliable narrator faithfully walked the dog for four hours. It is a complete mystery as to why everything is on fire.
2. You hid under the grand staircase to escape that thing that was knocking at your window in the height of the storm. Now there is a ‘delivery failed’ notice on the mat. You are going to have to pick up your artisan cheeses from the local depot twenty miles away.
3. The malign spirit possessing you has lapsed on its ghastly rent, and as a consequence you have been re-possessed by a bailiff. It is somewhat alarming to be in the possession of a supernatural bailiff. Your body spends more time in the high court of the dead that you would like.
4. You came to this graveyard on the cliff over the sea at the dead of night with the intent of digging up the grave of your long-lost love, which you believe to contain the silver dagger that alone can settle her unquiet ghost. It is a stressful situation. You were never very good at numbers when stressed. You believe you may have taken twenty rather than thirty paces from the old yew tree and may in consequence have dug up a badger.
5. A dread raven has settled over your door, from which it hourly proclaims your doom. You made a plan to get rid of the raven. The raven network appears to have got hold of this plan, because another smaller raven turned up to perch on the shoulder of the first and proclaim its doom. Now a third, even smaller one has turned up. You have recursive ravens. There is probably a lot of doom about to come down.
6. Lacking a cellar, you have walled up your rival beneath your floorboards. Unfortunately your rival is a mouse and seems to be enjoying it down there. Will the cheese board will never be safe?
7. Now that they the have closed the refinery across the bay, the mist no longer descends over the high moor at night and as a consequence gruesome deeds cannot be done unnoticed. You have a huge to-do list of gruesome deeds. The local undertaker has started to call you up regarding supply chain issues.
8. You have been staring into this abyss for some considerable time. It is not gazing back. In point of fact it is ignoring you completely. It looks like you will be going home alone tonight.
9. Your grandmother has refused to pass down the ancestral curse, instead bequeathing it to the local cats’ home.
The gay PR guy in that came up with this Nintendo/Ariana crossover deserves a raise
Jimmy Fallon’s done some dumb shit in his past but he basically got the network to pay good money to The Roots to fuck around and jam in weird ways with him and Ariana and other cool people and for that i think he’ll go to the Good Place.
My 5yo likes to tell herself stories before she falls asleep and she just came out to me in tears because she accidentally killed off a character.
“The story got sad all by itself Mum!” I know baby. I know.
She’s 6 now and having to share a room with her little sister. I said it’s okay if she shares the stories and she said “I can’t mum! They’re too violent for a 2 year old! People die in them all the time! It’s completely inappropriate!”
