i looked up the song thats playing in the background only to discover that the guy in the smiley face hoody literally wrote and recorded it this is his song
if movies about men got reviewed the same way movies about women did
“Look. Don’t get me wrong: no one is happier than me to see a man finally starring in a lead role in an action movie (especially when they look as tantalizing in a tank top as Mr. Willis.) but at the end of the day, the hard truth about Die Hard is this: it’s mediocre. The script is bland, the pacing is excruciating, and although it has a few decent lines, it’s trying way, way too hard to be funny and only succeeding half the time. The focus on “male empowerment” is way too overt and comes across as ham-fisted, like the movie is trying to beat the audience over the head with “SEE? MEN CAN LEAD ACTION MOVIES, TOO!” without seeming to have anything more nuanced to say about the matter. Ultimately, Bruce Willis climbing around a building and beating up terrorists for two hours isn’t quite interesting enough to hold this reviewer’s attention. If you can shut off your brain and pretend not to notice the glaringly obvious plot holes riddled through this corporate-engineered script, then Die Hard may be the film for you. If not, however, you’ll probably be better off rewatching Ocean’s 8 instead.”
I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired
jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him
So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:
John Mulaney – early 20th century
Eric Andre – Probably 17th century or so.
Taika Waititi – Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare
Keanu Reeves – We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.
Jeff Goldblum – 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.
Tommy Wiseau – Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.
I have been informed of a few additional immortals in my studies.
Oscar Isaac – Renaissance era, good friend of Da Vinci and Michaelangelo. We have no proof that he was not the model for David but I suspect.
Dwayne Johnson – Ancient World, helped to build many of the Seven Wonders with his prodigious strength. Had a reputation as a ruthless and fearsome warrior, but wasn’t really into it, so he played dead after this kid hit him with a slingshot and went off to follow his passion for the arts.
I know Jeff Goldblum is the better part of this video but Bryce’s laugh is so anime hand face pose that I can’t believe it. She laughs like she’s at the peak of her abilities and my petty resistance to her might is nothing
