Hot damn, I just thought of something really cool. So, like, I headcanon that Harry kept Parseltongue after he lost the horcrux, because it’s just really fun to imagine stuff like Harry talking to Albus Severus’ pet snake or finding a little snake in the garden and hissing a hello. Parseltongue is really neat and snakes are awesome, so it’s so feel-good to imagine that instead of being used for Dark Arts, Harry’s just using it to make convo to little scaly cuties.
Like, Parseltongue apparently transfers with the soul or whatever? So you could totally claim that Harry’s soul/magic kept/learned the skill. A skill passed down through the soul/magic could totally transfer that way.
But… do you know who also had a piece of Voldemort’s soul inside them and was speaking Parseltongue pretty regularly for a long period of time? Ginny. Ginny Weasley.
So imagine twelve-year-old Ginny Weasley going home to heal after the whole Chamber of Secrets business, and finding a snake in the garden, muttering about sunny rocks and sleep. And it scares her so badly at first, because what if Tom isn’t really gone? What if Tom’s still lurking in some dark place in her head? She freaks out and nearly doesn’t come home for dinner that day… except… then she remembers that Harry can speak Parseltongue too.
Harry had an horrible encounter with Voldemort where Voldemort tried to take his life and somehow a piece of his power transferred to Harry, so now Harry can speak Parseltongue. Maybe she just got a piece of power too when Tom tried to steal her life?
It’d be really cool to have an AU where Ginny kept Parseltongue and decided that no, I’m not going to let Tom run my life and was treated Parseltongue like the cool trick it is. And Harry is the only one who full gets it and doesn’t get a little bit uncomfortable when she drops into hissing, and maybe Harry shyly gets encouraged to start hissing back. Voldemort tried to ruin our lives so let’s stick it to him and his Slytherin ancestors, right? Yeah!
Anyway, twelve year old Ginny and thirteen year old Harry having hissing conversations at the Gryffindor table, using it to talk smack and have inside jokes, and using it to scare the heck of out any pureblood supremacists. (Who are all absolutely scandalized because Parseltongue is something Salazar Slytherin is famous for and here it’s being using for casual conversation and Quidditch commentary by a Potter and a Weasley.)
Just picture these two adorable children hissing jokes at each other in the hallways and helping each other recover from their fear and trauma.
Ginny (in Parseltongue), “<Hey Harry, let’s both stare at Malfoy breaking into laughter and hissing at each other in Parseltongue.>”
Harry, “<…That would totally freak him out. …I’m in.>”
Ginny, “<Okay, he’s noticed we’re staring now.>”
Draco, “Do you have something to say Potter?!”
Ginny, “<Laugh now.>”
Harry and Ginny burst out into enormous laughter and Draco Malfoy is furious and gets increasingly mad as Harry and Ginny crack up and hiss things like, “<Great weather we’re having today!>” and “<How about them Harpies?>”
And Draco can’t call a Professor on them because he can’t prove they’re saying anything bad (and it’s just icing on the top that they actually aren’t and he’s getting worked up over nothing).This continues well into their relationship and into adulthood. All of the Potter-Weasley children can speak Parseltongue and have a foolproof way of having secret conversation in public. Sometimes they have to smack Jamie Sirius on the head to use English in public and tell Lily Luna to stop trying to scare people and convince them you’re the next Dark Lady. Harry and Ginny hiss at each other all throughout Ministry Events and Quidditch Events (Rita Skeeter cannot eavesdrop on them and she is furious) and to their children, lovingly telling them in this “language of the Dark Arts” to “<Behave yourselves>“ and ”<Remember to wear your jumper when it’s cold out.>“
Somewhere out there Tom Riddle and scores of Gaunts are rolling in their graves. Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley do not care.
In case no one told you growing up
- Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.
- If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)
- Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold – save on your electricity bill.
- You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)
- Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.
- Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.
- To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.
- Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.
- Speaking of shampoo – if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.
- If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.
- Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.
- After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch – it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.
- Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.
- Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.
To all the kids whose parents couldn’t help you with this kind of stuff