The one thing I’ve never understood about “the fandom” is who comprises said fandom. Like if I make a post and somebody likes it or thinks it’s whacked they’ll say “I love this fandom” or “this fandom is whacked” when really it’s just me. You’re talking about a clique in the Sherlock fandom, a subculture (that lives mostly on tumblr), whatever you want to call it– not the ENTIRE Sherlock fandom across the globe. In reality it’s not the fandom that’s bringing you down, it’s your orientation to this subculture.
I’m here to tell you that you do NOT have to engage with that subculture to enjoy being a thriving contributor to the larger Sherlock fandom. YOU choose if you’re an “outsider”, frankly. YOU are the one who’s decided that that subculture holds some vast authority and that you have to be one of them, or at least engage with them, to be a valid fan or a worthy gay. You don’t. That thinking is hooey. It’s in your control. Stop it.
USE YOUR BLOCK BUTTON. If you really want to be a member of the Sherlock fandom and not be involved with that subculture, block everyone who posts something that makes you feel angry or ill or less than. I follow plenty of people who consider themselves a part of that subculture, but they’re good, reasonable people with interesting and charming and funny things to say. On the other hand I have a block list with about 120 people on it (lots of them deactivated by now). I haven’t seen any wank on my dash for months. And trust me, I’m a target for it. (Dig through my tag to see what I’m talking about.)
Go into the Mary tags– find people who like her and follow them (if they don’t perpetuate wank). Check out the rare pairs. Take a look at @threepatchpodcast– all wonderful people- some of whom play in the subculture and some of whom don’t. Listen to the podcast to find people to follow. Check out @bakerstreetbabes. No wank there. I ADORE @finalproblem. Talk about an interesting drama-free blogger!
Find blogs you like and see who they follow. ACTIVELY SEEK YOUR PEOPLE OUT. Block out the rest. You do it all the time in real life. We all do.
When Sherlock falls after Irene Adler drugs him, John is there to take him home. When Sherlock falls out of bed that very same night, John is there to pick him back up. When Sherlock falls off of Bart’s hospital, John is there to try to save his life. When Sherlock falls back during his row with a drunk at the bar, John is there to steady his way. When Sherlock falls from being shot in CAM tower, John is there to phone an ambulance. When Sherlock falls in 221b after Mary’s reveal, John is there to ease his way down.
When I was younger, I wish someone had told me straight-up that not all adults experience “a calling”. That many of them never find particular purpose in a career. That sometimes, their job is just what pays the bills and they have to seek satisfaction and fulfillment elsewhere.
Because as an adult, this pervasive notion that there exists a perfect path for everyone, that people should love what they do, and that work is meant to function as a vehicle for fulfilling a person’s grand life destiny is not only inaccurate for many of us, it can be toxic.
The ideal is so ingrained that I have to remind myself constantly I’m not a failure because I don’t adore my job, and because I’m not rocking the world with my work. That is okay.
Sometimes, work is just work. There isn’t always a perfect career path, magically waiting to be discovered. There might not be this THING you were born to do. Sometimes, you discover that what you really want to be when you grow up is “paid”.
PLS LISTEN TO THIS, YOUNG PEOPLE. It’s important to have something that’s fulfilling, but that doesn’t have be your job. It can be tending a garden or writing on the weekends or knitting or whatever! It could be solving math problems for fun, trying new recipes, you get my point.
And your job does not define you. What you do right out of college does not define you, and what you do IN college does not define you either. You can get a job doing wtv, and just quit if you hate it. (I realize that quitting is often more complicated when you pay your own way, but the point is, you are not signing a lifetime contract.) I know that your job choice immediately post graduation feels like the most LIFE DEFINING DECISION but it’s really…. Not. Just do something, maybe save some money for a while, because doing nothing is what is really gonna screw you in the end.
The article is now up to 103 dead lesbian or bisexual women, and I’m just gonna list some of the fun ones here for you so you can see how ridiculous this is:
Susan Ross, Seinfeld (1995)
→
Toxic envelope glue. No commentary needed.
Naomi Richards, Band of Gold (1996)
→
Stabbed herself. Clearly she realized she was a lesbian and therefore had to die for ~plot reasons~
Leila and Rafaela, Torre de Babel (1998)
→
Shopping mall explosion. Too many gays in there at one time, I guess. Someone was bound to die dramatically.
→ Explosion. Gas this time though, not a bomb! Very original.
Snoop, The Wire (2008) →
Shot.
Sarah Barnes, Hollyoaks (2009)
→
Skydiving accident. (???)
Silvia Castro León, Los hombres de Paco (2010)
→
Shot.
June Stahl, Sons of Anarchy (2010)
→
Shot.
Marissa Tasker, All My Children (2011)
→
Shot.
Queen Sophie Ann Leclerq, True Blood (2011)
→
Shot.
Angela Darmody & Louise Bryant, Boardwalk Empire (2011)
→ Shot.
Nadia, Lost Girl (2012)
→
Stabbed.
Nora Gainesborough, True Blood (2013)
→
Hepatitis!
Annie, Siberia (2013)
→
Shot.
Cristina, Tierra de Lobos (2013)
→ Head injury while trying not to get shot.
Alisha, The Walking Dead (2013)
→
Shot.
Victoria Hand, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (2014)
→
Shot.
Reyna Flores, Matador (2014)
→
Shot.
Denise/Simone, Felizes Para Sempre? (2015)
→
Shot.
Samantha Krueger, Ascension (2015)
→ Shot.
Delphine Cormier, Orphan Black (2015)
→
Shot.
Maddie Heath, Coronation Street (2015)
→ Explosion! Haven’t seen that one in awhile.
Lillian Moss, Murdoch Mysteries (2015)
→
Shot.
Charlie, Supernatural (2015)
→
Stabbed.
The Countess, American Horror Story: Hotel (2015)
→
Shot.
Ruby Haswell, Emmerdale (2015)
→
Helicopter crash! That’s a new one. At least that sounds exciting.
Lexa, The 100 (2016)
→
Shot.
You’ll notice, of course, that one, jesus christ we’re all gonna get shot, and two, everyone dies violently. There’s never any peaceful deaths or “died of old age in her cottage in Spain”. It’s always violent and bloody and dramatic, and you can chalk that up to the “Bury Your Gays” trope and the need of the media, even if just subconsciously, to punish queer characters for their queerness.
You missed the best one
Julie, Executive Suite (1976)
Cause of death: Hit by a car. Her love interest had just walked into traffic after realizing her lesbianism and Julie was chasing her.
If anyone ever tells you we’re overreacting please point them in the direction of this thread. This is a real problem and we may have the opportunity to fix it.
