1. It is not free. It is never free. Unless there is a sign on it that specifically says “FREE” it is not free
2. We hate capitalism but it also pays our bills so we have to love it
3. You being a dick to me for no reason is not going to make your experience any better. Or me any nicer.
4. “Service with a smile” is really taking a toll on my facial muscles. My resting bitch face wasn’t made for this.
5. Your “I just printed it this morning” jokes when I run your bill for counterfeit isn’t funny. We actually take this shit seriously.
6. I know the store inventory better than you. I can bring it up on my computer screen. So when you tell me to go “check the back” I don’t know what you want me to do other than to wander aimlessly, say hi to my buddies in other departments and tell you what I already know.
7. Don’t wink at us. Don’t mistake good customer service for flirting. It’s creepy. It makes us super uncomfortable. And when you make comments to us while we ring you out, it makes everything more awkward.
8. Why the fuck did you shit on the bathroom floor the toilet was right there
9. If an employee says they are off the clock or on break, do not bother them. Seriously. Don’t.
10. Don’t be a dick to retail workers. No one gets paid enough for that.
Also, we don’t fucking control the goddamn prices. We cannot give you fucking discounts out of the air. SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT BEING TOO EXPENSIVE TAKE YA ASS OUT THEN
Okay, so here’s the deal. Tali loves the fridge. I don’t know why, but every single time we open it, she bolts for it and jumps in. She crawls into the back of the fridge and nestles int the smallest little corner she can. Now naturally, my biggest fear has been that I’ll close the fridge without knowing she’s in there. And of course, today I went to go grab my Brita filter to pour myself some water. I wasn’t really watching the fridge, and I just opened and closed it really quickly to put the Brita back while I was looking somewhere else. And then I looked around and realized that Tali had been in the kitchen, and now she was nowhere in sight. So immediately, I throw open the fridge door, and there is is, hanging out in the back, content as can be.
Fridge cat just got weirder. Today Tali got into the bathroom while I was showering, which of course made me a little nervous. I didn’t want her to freak out and hurt herself or go on a scratching spree. But evidently she loves water, so she jumped in and just splashed around for a while and got back out. But then she kept whining to get back in, so my boyfriend put a cooler down so she could get in and out with ease, which she took great advantage of. She’s soaking wet now, and very content.
I told Tali she was famous. She and her stuffed husky celebrated.
