It’s snowing in the Midwest US and up North, down here in Texas we have a frost warning. What’s up with the weather?

Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I’m still in Florida.
#australians: i drove for nine hours #now i’m nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there’s an echidna it’s okay
Canadians: We left Toronto 2 days ago, We are still in Ontario, food is scarce. We are lost, soon we will have to eat each other to survive, oh wait there’s a tims we’re good.
Russians: I was in Yakutia, I drove for twenty eight hours, now I’m still in Yakutia, I travelled by train for 6 days, I’m still in Russia. Don’t even try to leave Russia. Don’t forget: you’re here forever. Accept it and suffer.

Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life’s quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result — eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly — in you.

Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything (via thedragoninmygarage)