Not excusing Sherlock’s drug use, but if his mind is always like this – filled with demeaning, belittling, jealous, mocking, and disappointed voices (that, worse, take on the form of his friends and family) – would it be any wonder why he wouldn’t mind throwing away the “beautiful gifts” he was born with?
Maybe this is why he sometimes acts as if he doesn’t deserve John, why he keeps people at arms length. “We all hated him,” said Seb. It’s hard to love yourself when you believe nobody ever loved you.