{"id":96504,"date":"2016-06-16T23:27:25","date_gmt":"2016-06-16T23:27:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/16\/shatterfly-lianabrooks-suddenlycomics\/"},"modified":"2016-06-16T23:27:25","modified_gmt":"2016-06-16T23:27:25","slug":"shatterfly-lianabrooks-suddenlycomics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/16\/shatterfly-lianabrooks-suddenlycomics\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

shatterfly<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

lianabrooks<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

suddenlycomics<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

fallingivy<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

Okay, I want a superhero story in which the superhero is one of those\u00a0\u2018normal kid gets superpowers through freak accident\u2019 and goes out and fights crime, and of course runs into the supervillain at some point and tries to take them down. And the villain, a couple minutes into the fight, realizes they\u2019re fighting a literal child and just has an internal freak-out about this new development. Because, fine, I\u2019ve got plans to steal all of the world\u2019s largest gems and I\u2019m generally not a nice person, but holy fuck there\u2019s a kid coming at me. This is a kid. I can\u2019t with this.<\/p>\n

So the supervillain instead of trying to kill\/hurt their nemesis goes through all these complicated plans to trap them or put them to sleep or stick them in a large tank or something so they can go ahead with it. Sometimes it works and the supervillain spends a harried half hour lecturing the superhero about maybe going to school and being safe instead of doing this, that would be nice.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The supervillain staying up at night occasionally wondering if the tiny superhero is out there trying to get themselves killed right this moment. The supervillain sending supervillain henchmen ninjas out to tail the superhero and help out if it ever looks like the superhero is going to get killed. The supervillain takes to pacing around and muttering to themselves occasionally about PARENTING and RESPONSIBILITY and how they never signed up for this shit. Actually petitioning their version of the Justice League to have someone step in and do something about this, that kid has to be like twelve and what is everyone thinking???? Bonus points if the kid has no parents and the villain finds this out and spends a night internally screaming about it.<\/p>\n

Basically I want a supervillain unwittingly becomes the super worried parent of the kid who is actively trying to foil their every plan and topple their evil regime.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

@editoress<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Realizing the superhero has no
\nfamily the supervillain puts the heist on hold for a few months. Obviously the
\nonly thing to do done is to adopt the little superhero and get them off the
\nstreet before anything awful happens. The world doesn\u2019t need more dead kids.<\/p>\n

So the supervillain signs up to
\nbecome a foster parent. He gets a background check. He rounds up his henchmen
\nand starts his own company (social networking natch\u2019), just so social services have
\nco-workers to interview. And honestly, everything is going great.<\/p>\n

Until Nate, aka Ninja #4, takes
\na late night shift on IT and instead of getting a call from someone who accidentally
\nfried their computer by spilling a drink on it, he gets a call from a distraught
\nwoman whose abusive spouse won\u2019t let her leave. She sabotaged the computer and
\nsince the spouse won\u2019t deal with it, she\u2019s calling, and begging for help.
\nWhispering desperate pleas for someone to come fix the situation. <\/p>\n

Well, that\u2019s not going to fly.
\nSo Ninja Nate calls the boss, and the supervillain is not having any of it.
\nRobbing people is fine, beating spouses is not. So the ninja squad is
\ndispatched to go \u201crepair\u201d the computer and at the end of the day the nice lady
\nhas a computer and the abusive spouse is in jail for forever.<\/p>\n

The next day the supervillain
\nis delighted to learn he is adopting a child. Only, when he goes to pick the
\nkid up, it isn\u2019t the superhero, it\u2019s a newborn. A cuddly infant who was taken
\naway from a parent in the hospital for reasons social services won\u2019t discuss.
\nThey warn the supervillain that this is temporary. The parents may want
\nparental rights back, the child isn\u2019t his, but you know\u2026 love the baby like it
\nis.<\/p>\n

Terrified, the supervillain has
\nthe ninjas add a new room to the fortress of doom, install a nursery with a
\nnice neutral forest theme, and then he starts a college fund. Because that\u2019s
\nwhat new parents do, right?<\/p>\n

And, while he\u2019s at it, the supervillain
\nstarts a college fund for the 12yo superhero and hires him a tutor. And pays
\nfor improvements to the school. And sends the ninjas over to give the superhero
\na new computer (out of uniform of course). The superhero considers this highly suspicious,
\nbut being 12 they are willing to accept that sometimes you do win prizes from
\nbringing in box tops and a new computer will really help with the homework.<\/p>\n

Now, the supervillain is out of
\ncash, has a newborn, and has to run a heist. So he sends the superhero a free
\ncopy of DragonAge (content fixed to be suitable for a 12yo if necessary), and
\ngoes on a heist. <\/p>\n

For ten years this goes on. The
\nsupervillain sets up college trust funds for hundreds of children. He never
\ngets to adopt the superhero, but he sends him games, tutors, and covers the
\nrent for a few months when the 16yo superhero can\u2019t get a job one winter. <\/p>\n

Finally, the supervillain
\nrealizes he\u2019s no longer fighting a kid. He calls the ninjas in, puts them in
\nthe IT room, and goes to complete his villainous heist. The superhero arrives with
\na cute little sidekick, who takes one look at the supervillain and starts
\nscreaming like crazy because the sidekick think the superhero and supervillain
\nplanned the surprise party to get the kid back with the only dad he\u2019s ever
\nknown.<\/p>\n

The supervillain fostered the
\nsidekick for 17 months starting when the sidekick was 9, and those were the
\nbest 17 months of the kid\u2019s life. Four years later, the sidekick ran away from
\nhome and was adopted by the superhero who always felt like there was a guardian
\nangel watching out for lost kids with no parents.<\/p>\n

Not wanting to disappoint the
\nsidekick, the superhero says, \u201cOf course! Surprise! I wanted to get you back
\nwith your dad! Happy family reunion!\u201d<\/p>\n

And, naturally, the
\nsupervillain has to be good because this is one of his kids and how could he
\nlet them down a second time. <\/p>\n

The superhero and the
\nsupervillain talk after the teenager has been sent to bed, and they agree that
\nif they restructure the social network the supervillain set up, and take it
\npublic, the company would earn more legally than the supervillain could make
\nillegally, and that would allow them to do more to work legally against
\ndomestic violence and advocate for kids in the foster system.<\/p>\n

So the supervillain never got
\nto adopt the superhero, but they do Thanksgiving together every year along with
\nthe ninjas, and lots and lots of foster kids. All who have amazing trust funds
\nand only some who happen to have superpowers. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Please write this. Please. I am begging you.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

shatterfly: lianabrooks: suddenlycomics: fallingivy: Okay, I want a superhero story in which the superhero is one of those\u00a0\u2018normal kid gets superpowers through freak accident\u2019 and goes out and fights crime, and of course runs into the supervillain at some point and tries to take them down. And the villain, a couple minutes into the fight, … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[3723,10186,4,343],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96504"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=96504"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96504\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=96504"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=96504"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=96504"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}