{"id":96098,"date":"2016-06-20T12:29:19","date_gmt":"2016-06-20T12:29:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/20\/thescienceofjohnlock-robotmango\/"},"modified":"2016-06-20T12:29:19","modified_gmt":"2016-06-20T12:29:19","slug":"thescienceofjohnlock-robotmango","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/20\/thescienceofjohnlock-robotmango\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

thescienceofjohnlock<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

robotmango<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

madamethursday<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

tariqk<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

eclecticmuses<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

roane72<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

alwayshometomarvel<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

roane72<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

esterbrook<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

roane72<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

The thing about Tumblr that probably makes me saddest is the underlying assumption that women past a certain age (which seems to be about 25?) stop having any sort of outside interests beyond family\/career\/kids. Like, y\u2019all are always so shocked that grown women have lives and can fangirl as hard as we did as teenagers.<\/p>\n

It makes me sad not because it makes me feel old (although it does), but because these younger women are constricting their own lives\u2013they fully expect that this will happen to them someday. Y\u2019all deserve better. Y\u2019all deserve to EXPECT better.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

And worse than that, the idea that there\u2019s something WRONG with a grown woman who has other interests. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

One of the biggest things I realized growing up?\u00a0<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n

You expect somehow you will change when you are finally An Adult\u2122. You\u2019ll stop enjoying the things you enjoy now for something more\u00a0\u201cadult\u201d or\u00a0\u201cmature.\u201d You\u2019ll FEEL like an adult and not like a child anymore. You\u2019ll feel comfortable and secure and not scared and unsure and confused. You expect you will feel like you have your shit together.<\/p>\n

But I can tell you that it doesn\u2019t happen. You\u2019ll still feel like the\u00a0\u201cyou\u201d you were at 15 or 17 or 19.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You just have these\u2026things to deal with. Like rent. And insurance.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You have a job either because a) you like it or b) it keeps the lights and internet on.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll look up from fangirling one day and realize\u00a0\u201cShit. I am twenty eight<\/b> years old. That\u2019s almost 30!\u201d\u00a0<\/i>Or maybe it will be that you look down at the small child clasped around your legs and realize \u201cThat is my child. I have a child. A human being child<\/b>.\u201d Or maybe it will be that you have to negotiate your budget around con tickets AND a mortgage payment.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Growing up isn\u2019t a thing that happens.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a realization that it doesn\u2019t happen.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Holy shit, y\u2019all. There are some AMAZING responses to this post. Yes, everything alwayshometomarvel says. All that.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Feeling like I wasn\u2019t \u2018adult\u2019 enough fucked me up for years. I would cry at night and feel like a total piece of shit because I was married with a kid, and yet I still did \u2018not adult\u2019 things\u2013I played MMOs, I cosplayed and went to conventions, I drew fan art and wrote fan fic. I kept waiting for the day that I would wake up and realize that what I really needed to be doing was the laundry, cleaning the house, making dinner every night, etc. Basically, be the \u2018perfect\u2019 wife and mother.<\/p>\n

And somewhere between then and now, I somehow managed to tell myself\u2026fuck it. I AM an adult. I go to work every day and pay the bills and help raise my son and take care of the house. I do legit adult things. AND I play MMOs, go to conventions, and participate in fandom. And THAT\u2019S OKAY. I\u2019m 32 years old now and finally at peace with that part of myself. (Having a supportive husband and kid doesn\u2019t hurt either!)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

@malaysianfeminist<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

All of this is such truth. Believing these things about growing up, and especially about being over 25? Really made it hard for me when I turned 30.<\/p>\n

I was literally suicidal on my 30th birthday. I spent the whole day in tears. I felt like I had died and my life was now worthless and small and never going to be hopeful or full of promise or fun again. I felt like killing myself on my birthday because I bought into this lie that somewhere after your mid-twenties, you diminish as a woman because the only thing that made you alive and shiny was your youth.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m 31 now and I\u2019m done with that shit. I\u2019m over it. I don\u2019t care if you think I\u2019m too old for something. If I\u2019m an old lady in Tumblr terms, then I\u2019m past the legal age where I\u2019m obligated to care what you think.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So, I\u2019m telling you girls out there right now who are in your teens and twenties, get rid of this idea of what older women are\u00a0\u201csupposed\u201d to look like. Get rid of this idea that\u00a0\u201csoccer moms\u201d don\u2019t play video games or that all women over 25 should be married and contemplating kids. Get rid of the idea that fanfic and fandom and fun things are for\u00a0\u201ckids.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mostly, get rid of this notion that the only thing really valuable about you is your youth. Youth is part of life, but it\u2019s not the most valuable or beautiful or exciting time of your life. I like my life at 30 about 1000% than I did at 15, 18, 20, even 25.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

on her deathbed, my grandmother pulled my mom close to her and said, \u201ci don\u2019t feel old. i don\u2019t know how i\u2019m supposed to feel. but inside, i still feel seventeen.\u201d when I was a teenager, I used to think that story was sad; sad and strange somehow, like she\u2019d been frozen in time. but now that i am a woman in my thirties, I understand. I understand her. I am a grown woman in the ways that matter. I listen to myself more, trust my experience more. but inside? I still feel the joy and rage and mess; I am still changing. we\u2019re not frozen in time. we are just still growing.<\/p>\n

the more we acknowledge that modern \u201cadulthood\u201d is largely a concept designed to sell vacuums and sedans, and not an arbitrary total overhaul of self at age 35, the more we can admit our ongoing capacity\u2013 no, our ongoing NEED for play and playfulness and exploration. those are childish things we should never have to put away.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

46 here, ain\u2019t changing anytime soon<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

37. And I’ve said before that one of the perks of adulthood is that, assuming I’ve paid my bills, I can spend my money on cons\/fandom stuff. <\/p>\n

Old guys can buy ridiculously expensive cars if they want. They world won’t end if I buy pop figures. <\/p>\n

Also? I would argue that fandom is friendship and even if I’m ‘older’ I have many friends younger than me, and that helps keep ME young.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

thescienceofjohnlock: robotmango: madamethursday: tariqk: eclecticmuses: roane72: alwayshometomarvel: roane72: esterbrook: roane72: The thing about Tumblr that probably makes me saddest is the underlying assumption that women past a certain age (which seems to be about 25?) stop having any sort of outside interests beyond family\/career\/kids. Like, y\u2019all are always so shocked that grown women have lives … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96098"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=96098"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96098\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=96098"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=96098"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=96098"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}