{"id":95865,"date":"2016-06-22T02:37:50","date_gmt":"2016-06-22T02:37:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/22\/bakerstmel-naamahdarling-naamahdarling\/"},"modified":"2016-06-22T02:37:50","modified_gmt":"2016-06-22T02:37:50","slug":"bakerstmel-naamahdarling-naamahdarling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/22\/bakerstmel-naamahdarling-naamahdarling\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/bakerstmel.tumblr.com\/post\/146176923611\" target=\"_blank\">bakerstmel<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/naamahdarling.tumblr.com\/post\/146147133281\" target=\"_blank\">naamahdarling<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/naamahdarling.tumblr.com\/post\/146146997346\" target=\"_blank\">naamahdarling<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/prokopetz.tumblr.com\/post\/146135142227\" target=\"_blank\">prokopetz<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/prokopetz.tumblr.com\/post\/146109057372\" target=\"_blank\">prokopetz<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>If you\u2019re unsure how to pet a cat (i.e., maybe you didn\u2019t have cats around growing up), it can be helpful to bear in mind that petting is a grooming activity. Grooming each other is how cats bond. Of course, each cat will have individual preferences, but the fact that it\u2019s a grooming thing gives you two basic places to start:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Scratch areas that the cat has difficulty reaching, like the chin and upper throat, behind the ears, or the the very top of the head. (Watch the body language here &#8211; you\u2019ll know if you pick the wrong spot right away.)<\/li>\n<li>Work your fingers deeply into areas of thick fur where tangles are likely to form, like around the shoulderblades or the ruff of the neck. (You may come away with a handful of loose fur; this means you\u2019re doing it right.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Also, if you\u2019re unsure of how to approach, try extending your hand with the palm up and the fingers relaxed for the cat to sniff. It\u2019s the cat equivalent of a handshake &#8211; cats sniff each other to see where they\u2019ve been, and for humans, it\u2019s the hands that carry our scent history, since we touch everything constantly.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>It\u2019s kind of amazing watching all the folks who didn\u2019t know that petting is a grooming behaviour come to the realisation that cats lick you because they want to pet you back.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Another thing you can do with skittish cats is offer your *closed fist*.<\/p>\n<p>A cat that is shy of an open hand that can grab may approach a closed hand that they don\u2019t perceive as trying to grab them.  (Needless to say, don\u2019t actually grab them, please.)<\/p>\n<p>They bonk against your hands (and your head, if they are at head level) the same way they bonk against one another\u2019s heads.  It\u2019s a friendly greeting that often ends in friendly cats turning and licking each others shoulders, necks, and ears a few times.<\/p>\n<p>They scent mark by rubbing their faces on things.  Their cheek glands produce a pleasant-smelling (to them, we can\u2019t smell it) pheromone that projects friendship and reassurance.  When they scent mark you like this, it is a friendly gesture.<\/p>\n<p>So with this in mind, try letting the cat bump your fist, then gently rub the fist past the side of their face as they rub their face against your fist.  Think of your fist like a cat\u2019s head, and you are scent marking them back. You are sharing a friendly gesture.<\/p>\n<p>A worried cat may warm up after a few passes of this, and you may be able to pet the neck and back of the head.  The under-chin\/throat area can be a little dicey.  They don\u2019t casually kiss each other there.very often and it can make them feel vulnerable.<\/p>\n<p>Rolling over to show the tummy does not always mean the same thing it means for dogs.  Unless you know the cat, be very careful touching the tummy.  It might not be an invitation.  It might be a readiness posture.  <\/p>\n<p>Digression: cats don\u2019t show submission by rolling.  Rolling is a defensive maneuver that prepares them for possible combat with other cats by putting their most powerful weapons \u2013 their teeth and back claws \u2013 into play simultaneously.  They fight other cats by hugging with the front legs, biting anything they can reach, and kicking with the incredibly strong hind legs.  It is an advantageous position for fighting\/play fighting, lets them see all around them AND above, where humans usually approach them from, and it keeps them from getting pinned on their bellies, unable to retaliate.  If they need to, they can flip and run away easily because cats are FAST.<\/p>\n<p>So yeah, some cats love tummy stuff.  Some hate it and just want you to admire from afar.  A gentle hand placed on their tummy should tell you whether they want actual pets there or not.  If they stretch or open up their body language, that\u2019s good.  If they tense or \u201csit up\u201d to look at your hand, that\u2019s not good.  Stop petting and go back to the head.<\/p>\n<p>Obviously if they grab your hand and rabbit-kick and bite, then you should not pet them there.<\/p>\n<p>Some cats have a hair trigger.  Sorry about that.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>You can also pet them without moving your hand, just hold it out and let them rub against it.  This will give you a good idea of where they like to be touched and how hard and for how long. <\/p>\n<p>Very shy cats, once they realize you are willing to pet them without grabbing, may really come to enjoy approaching you.<\/p>\n<p>We have a cat like this.  If you let him see you respect him by not over-petting, he will rub against your hands and legs for a long time.<\/p>\n<p>The moral is that cats are not inconsistent jerks, it\u2019s just that we misinterpret their body language.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s also that we do not respect their boundaries when they present them, because we, as humans, want to be allowed to pet all soft things, and, somewhat spoiled by dogs, who love it nearly unconditionally, we unreasonably expect it of cats, a very very different animal.<\/p>\n<p>If you want a cat to come back for more, don\u2019t push yourself on them.  They will remember you are a Cool Human and will come back for more.<\/p>\n<p>(Also, speak softly. \u00a0Cats usually really hate loud people.)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Two other things to consider with all of this: blinking and body position. If you offer your finger or hand, the cat will look up into your face as they sniff. Blink, slowly, and do not stare. This communicates a lack of aggressive intent. It also helps if you break your body plane backward; that is, lean back a little. If you are leaning backwards and not staring, you\u2019re not about to pounce. I spend the first five minutes of an exam leaning against the wall and looking bored. It helps. <\/p>\n<p>People who are excited to see a cat tend to lean forward, make eye contact and (as noted above) raise their voices, and then the cat thinks they\u2019re in trouble. This is why cats are attracted to the people in the room who \u201cdon\u2019t like cats;\u201d they\u2019re the ones communicating the least possibility of conflict.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>bakerstmel: naamahdarling: naamahdarling: prokopetz: prokopetz: If you\u2019re unsure how to pet a cat (i.e., maybe you didn\u2019t have cats around growing up), it can be helpful to bear in mind that petting is a grooming activity. Grooming each other is how cats bond. Of course, each cat will have individual preferences, but the fact that &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/22\/bakerstmel-naamahdarling-naamahdarling\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[58,43,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/95865"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=95865"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/95865\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=95865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=95865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=95865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}