{"id":95765,"date":"2016-06-22T19:29:21","date_gmt":"2016-06-22T19:29:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/22\/tia-the-silver-ninja-savagelucy42\/"},"modified":"2016-06-22T19:29:21","modified_gmt":"2016-06-22T19:29:21","slug":"tia-the-silver-ninja-savagelucy42","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/22\/tia-the-silver-ninja-savagelucy42\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

tia-the-silver-ninja<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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savagelucy42<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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jacquez45<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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lemonsharks<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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feathersmoons<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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winterlive<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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jadelyn<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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lubiddu<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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jedisteverogers<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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hihiyas<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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rainnecassidy<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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pagetbewbster<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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chidoree<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

story time<\/p>\n

ok so in high school on away game days, the football players and cheerleaders would have to share busses because our school was broke as fuck so our cheer bus would always have a group of varsity footballerers in the back of it. one day my genius friend and I were discussing our feminist rage when she said\u00a0\u201cbridget you should totally throw a tampon back there and see what they do\u201d and me being myself, stood up and hurled a one (1) tampon at the Manly Men. IT LOOKED LIKE A WAR MOVIE. THE BROS FACES WERE FILLED WITH HORROR AS THEIR BUDDY GOT SHOT. HE WENT DOWN SO DRAMATICALLY AS SCREAMS FILLED THE BUS. BOYS WERE SLINKING AS FAR AWAY FROM THE DEADLY TAMPON AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. ONE BRO WAS EYEING THE EMERGENCY WINDOW WITH ALL SERIOUSNESS, READY TO FREE HIMSELF FROM THE THREAT. BEING IN CHICAGO, THE BUS DRIVER PULLED OVER ASSUMING A KID ACTUALLY GOT SHOT. A GIRL HAD TO GO GET THE TAMPON SO THE GUYS WOULD STOP SHITTING THEIR PANTS AND SIT THEIR ASSES THE FUCK BACK DOWN.<\/p>\n

I have deduced 2 things from this whole experience:
1. men are ridiculous
2. I wish I had thrown more than one tampon<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

TRUE STORY<\/p>\n

When my brother was in high school, as a prank, someone stuck a pad to the front bumper of his truck. \u00a0A CLEAN, UNUSED PAD.<\/p>\n

My brother came home from high school, 17 years old, CRYING and my dad made ME go get it off his truck.<\/p>\n

I had honestly forgotten about that until just now.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I sincerely regret never having done this during my school days.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

story time (again!)<\/p>\n

one time, in the middle of my freshman year, I was sitting in the band hall talking to a bunch of friends before school. let me preface this story by saying they were all guys (one of the hazards of being in the saxophone section\u2013guys outnumbered the girls 6:1). Anyway, I dug around in my backpack for a tampon and slipped it into the sleeve of my sweater and was about to excuse myself to the restroom (which, if anybody has been paying attention, they would\u2019ve known what was going on, because I\u2019ve never been exactly subtle about things like this) but one of the guys kind of guffaws and goes \u201cwhat\u2019s in your sleeve? a tampon?\u201d and I guess the way he rolled the word off his tongue like it was some kind of insult really bothered me, so I just pulled the brand new, still wrapped tampon out of my sleeve and went \u201cyou guessed it\u201d and popped him across the cheek with it. I walked away to the restroom, vaguely aware of the strangled noises and sounds of disbelief and horror coming from the group of guys. They were all paying attention enough to know that I was digging in my bag for a tampon or pad, but apparently, the sight of the thing was too much for them. That group of guys couldn\u2019t look me in the eyes for a few weeks, all because of a wrapped tampon<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Yep. I\u2019m an electrician, and we carry voltage meters with us (slang: \u201cWiggy\u201d, from an old brand name of meter that just about no one uses any more). They take up too much space to put in a tool pouch, so if you don\u2019t want to leave it in the tool box\/bag, you\u2019ll have a separate pouch on your tool belt for it. A long, narrow pouch that is convenient as hell for putting spare tampons in where they\u2019ll stay clean and undamaged until needed.<\/p>\n

A lot of the guys just leave their meters back in their tool boxes, which are in the gang box, which is usually some hike away from the actual work. So, \u201ccan I borrow your meter?\u201d is something I hear a lot. And the response is always, \u201csure.\u201d They always emit a high-pitched scream (somewhat similar to the tone emitted by the meter when voltage is present) when the tampons fall out when they take out the meter. \u201cWHAT ARE *THOSE* DOING IN THERE?!!\u201d I\u2019ll pick one up and do my best Groucho Marx imitation (with the tampon as cigar): \u201cWhaddya think they\u2019re doing in there, sweetheart?\u201d (wiggling eyebrows, \u201ccigar\u201d tapping). Their reaction is adorable. In almost thirty years of doing this work, I\u2019ve yet to get a blase\u2013\u201coops, didn\u2019t mean to drop your tampons\u201d response.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

So what I\u2019m getting from this is tampon shotguns\/grenades as a weapon against overaggressive dudes in public spaces, y\/y?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

oh my god, what a genius idea. \u00a0some dude won\u2019t shut the fuck up, you don\u2019t even look up from your phone as you pull a tampon out of the bag and just wave it at the motherfucker like a wizard\u2019s wand. \u00a0AWAAAAAAY.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u2026.what the hell is wrong with guys.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

oh man oh man<\/p>\n

I now want to keep a new pad in my pocket at all times<\/p>\n

for the occasion of being harrassed, calmly opening the pad, and stickying it to the jerkface\u2019s face<\/p>\n

\u201cTo catch the bloody stupid ideas that keep dripping out of your mouth\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

using an applicator tampon to fire the tampon at someone (you\u2019d have to hit it hard & fast but practice makes perfect)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Meanwhile my brother had a pile of tampons in the console of his car all through high school in case his girlfriend ever needed them. <\/p>\n

This is a giant, hairy, meat-headed guy, but when he had to buy tampons\/pads for me he had the foresight to grab the old, empty box from the bathroom so he was SURE he got the right brand.<\/p>\n

Neither of my brothers have time to be squeamish about period stuff. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is the most relatable post in all history.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

tia-the-silver-ninja: savagelucy42: jacquez45: lemonsharks: feathersmoons: winterlive: jadelyn: lubiddu: jedisteverogers: hihiyas: rainnecassidy: pagetbewbster: chidoree: if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock story time ok so in high school on … <\/p>\n

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