{"id":95733,"date":"2016-06-23T02:37:43","date_gmt":"2016-06-23T02:37:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/23\/gingersnapwolves-beka-tiddalik-katyakora\/"},"modified":"2016-06-23T02:37:43","modified_gmt":"2016-06-23T02:37:43","slug":"gingersnapwolves-beka-tiddalik-katyakora","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/23\/gingersnapwolves-beka-tiddalik-katyakora\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

gingersnapwolves<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

beka-tiddalik<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

katyakora<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

robininthelabyrinth<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

oneiriad<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those\u00a0\u201cMake a Wish Foundation\u201d and similar people.<\/p>\n

I mean, the heroes do, of course they do, kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City for just thirty seconds.<\/p>\n

But surely there are also the kids, who – because they are kids and sometimes kids are just weird – decide that what they really, really want is to meet a supervillain. Because he\u2019s scary or she\u2019s awesome or that freeze ray is just really, really cool, you know?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Oh, man, that would absolutely be a thing. The heroes would be so weirded out by it. The villains with codes of ethics would totally band together to force the villains without one (should they be the one requested) to do their part for the cause. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

But imagine the person who has to track down the villains and organise everything?<\/p>\n

Like, the first time it happens, no one actually thinks it\u2019s possible, but one of the newbies volunteers to at least try. They get lucky, the kid wants to meet one of the villains who is well known to have a personal code of ethics (eg one of the rogues), and it takes them weeks to track the villain down to this one bar they\u2019ve been seen at a few times, plus a week of staking out said bar, but they finally find them.<\/p>\n

So they approach the villain, very politely introduce themselves and explain the situation, finishing with an assurance that, should the villain agree, no law enforcement or heroes will be informed of the meeting.<\/p>\n

The villain, assuming it\u2019s a joke, laughs in their face.<\/p>\n

At this point, the poor volunteer, who has giving up weeks of their time and no small amount of effort to track down this villain, all so a sweet little girl can meet the person who somehow inspired them, well, at this point the employee sees red.<\/p>\n

They explode, yelling at this villain about the little girl who, for some unknown reason, absolutely loved them, had a hand-made stuffed toy of them and was inspired by their struggle to keeping fighting her own and wasn\u2019t the villain supposed to have ethics? The entire bar is witness to this big bad villain getting scolded by some bookish nobody a foot shorter than them.<\/p>\n

When the volunteer is done, the villain calmly knocks back their drink, grips the volunteers shoulder and drags them outside. The bar\u2019s patrons assume that person will never be seen again, the volunteer included. But once they\u2019re outside, the villain apologises for their assumption, asks for the kid\u2019s details so they can drop by in the near future, not saying when for obvious reasons. They also give the very relieved volunteer a phone number to call if someone asks for them again.<\/p>\n

A week later, the little girl\u2019s room is covered<\/b>\u00a0in villain merchandise, several expensive and clearly stolen gifts and she is happily clutching a stack of signed polaroids of her and the villain.<\/p>\n

The next time a kid asks to meet a villain, guess who gets that assignment?<\/p>\n

Turns out, the first villain was quite touched by the experience of meeting their little fan, and word has gotten around. The second villain happily agrees when they realise it\u2019s the same volunteer who asked the other guy. Unfortunately, one of the heroes sees the villain entering the kid\u2019s hospital and obviously assumes the worst. They rush in, ready to drag the villain out, but the volunteer stands in their way. The hero spends five minutes getting scolded for trying to stop the villain from actually doing a good thing and almost ruining the kid\u2019s wish. The volunteer gets a reputation among villains as someone who can not only be trusted with personal contact numbers but who will do everything they can to keep law enforcement away during their visits.<\/p>\n

The volunteer has a phonebook written in cypher of all the villain\u2019s phone numbers, with asterixes next to the ones to call if any other villains give them trouble.<\/p>\n

Around the office, they gain the unofficial job title of The Villain Wrangler.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The heroes are genuinely flabbergasted by The Villain Wrangler. At first, some of the heroes try to reason with them.<\/p>\n

Heroes: \u201cCan\u2019t you, just, give us their contact details? They\u2019ll never even have to know it was you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler: \u201cYeah sure, <rollseyes> because all these evil geniuses could never possibly <\/i>figure out that it\u2019s me\u00a0who happens to be the common thread in the sudden mass arrests. Look man, even if it wouldn\u2019t get me killed, it would disappoint the kids. You wouldn\u2019t want to disappoint the kids would you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Heroes:\u00a0\u201c\u2026 no~ but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler:\u00a0\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Eventually, one of the anti-hero types gets frustrated, and decides to take a stand. They kidnap the Villain Wrangler and demand that they give up the contents of the little black book of Villains, or suffer the consequences. It\u2019s For the Greater Good, the anti-hero insists as they tie the Villain Wrangler to a pillar.<\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler:\u00a0\u201cYou complete idiot, put me back before someone figures out that I\u2019m missing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anti-hero:\u00a0\u201c\u2026excuse me?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler:\u00a0\u201cUgh, do I have to spell this out for you? Do you actually want<\/i>\u00a0your secret base to be wiped off the map? With us in it? Sugarsticks, how long has it been? If they get suspicious, they check in, and then if I miss a check-in, they tend to come barging into wherever I am just to prove that they can<\/i>, even if they figure out that they\u2019re not being threatened by proxy. Suffice to say, Auntie Muriel really<\/i>\u00a0regretted throwing my phone into the pool when she strenuously objected to me answering it during family time. If they think for even one moment that I\u2019ve given them up, they won\u2019t hesitate to obliterate both<\/i>\u00a0of us from their potential misery. You do know some of the people in my book have like missiles and djinni and elemental forces at their disposal, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Anti-hero:\u00a0\u201cWait, what? I thought they trusted you?!\u201d<\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler:\u00a0\u201cTrust is such a strong word!\u201d<\/p>\n

Villain:\u00a0\u201cIndeed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Anti-hero:\u00a0\u201cWait, wha-\u201d <slumps over, dart sticking out of neck><\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler:\u00a0\u201cThanks. I thought they were going to hurt me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Villain:\u00a0\u201cYou did well. You kept them distracted, and gave us time to follow your signal.\u201d <cuts Villain Wrangler free><\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler: <rubbing circulation back into limbs> \u201cYeah well, you know me, I do whatever I have to. So I\u2019ll see you Wednesday at four at St Martha\u2019s? I\u2019ve got an 8yo burns unit patient recovering from her latest batch of skin grafts who could really use a pep talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

Villain:\u00a0\u201c\u2026 of course. Yes\u2026 I\u2026 yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler:\u00a0\u201cI just think you could really reach her, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

Villain: <unconsciously runs fingers over mask>\u00a0\u201cI\u2026 yes, but, what should I say?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler:\u00a0\u201cWhatever advice you think you could have used the most just after.\u201d<\/p>\n

Villain: <hoists Anti-hero over shoulder almost absently>\u00a0\u201c\u2026.yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Villain Wrangler wasn\u2019t lying to the Anti-hero. They know that the more ruthless villains would not hesitate if they thought for one second that the Anti-hero would betray them.<\/p>\n

But this is not the first time the Villain Wrangler has gone to extreme lengths to protect their identities.<\/p>\n

Trust is a strong word. The Villain Wrangler earned<\/i>\u00a0it, and is terrified by what it could mean.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Okay this absolutely needs to be a full-length novel or movie, immediately.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

gingersnapwolves: beka-tiddalik: katyakora: robininthelabyrinth: oneiriad: I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those\u00a0\u201cMake a Wish Foundation\u201d and similar people. I mean, the heroes do, of course they do, kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City … <\/p>\n

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