{"id":94964,"date":"2016-06-27T20:36:32","date_gmt":"2016-06-27T20:36:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/27\/wrangletangle-seanchaidh101-merindab-still\/"},"modified":"2018-09-01T20:30:03","modified_gmt":"2018-09-01T20:30:03","slug":"wrangletangle-seanchaidh101-merindab-still","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/27\/wrangletangle-seanchaidh101-merindab-still\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-94964 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/27\/wrangletangle-seanchaidh101-merindab-still\/attachment\/94965\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/tumblr_o8wgxcNJiW1rftii4o1_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/tumblr_o8wgxcNJiW1rftii4o1_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/tumblr_o8wgxcNJiW1rftii4o1_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/27\/wrangletangle-seanchaidh101-merindab-still\/attachment\/94966\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/tumblr_o8wgxcNJiW1rftii4o2_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/tumblr_o8wgxcNJiW1rftii4o2_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/tumblr_o8wgxcNJiW1rftii4o2_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/wrangletangle.tumblr.com\/post\/146564314208\" target=\"_blank\">wrangletangle<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/seanchaidh101.tumblr.com\/post\/146467948758\" target=\"_blank\">seanchaidh101<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/merindab.tumblr.com\/post\/146047718014\" target=\"_blank\">merindab<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Still reading \u201cYou Mean I\u2019m Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid?\u201d &#8211; a book for and about adults with add. And this is all me, especially that last bit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>It\u2019s sad there seems to be so many of us.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The things you see:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>She is a mess of papers. Trailing things, losing things, can\u2019t find the homework she swears she did. Or turns in homework with ink stains, water stains, creases. Chew marks? Her shirt is on backwards or inside out.<\/li>\n<li>Her eyes drift, go glassy, she loses the thread of something she was saying in the middle of the sentence. She\u2019s gone the moment you take your eyes off her.<\/li>\n<li>She writes and draws slowly, painfully. She can\u2019t keep up with notes in class. Her hand cramps, so she massages it absently. Sports may be great or average, but these fine motor skills are still hard after years of practice.<\/li>\n<li>She wants to do better. She wants to. She always seems sincere. Sometimes she seems desperate. Always there\u2019s a look in her eyes that says she knows she\u2019ll fail but she\u2019s going to try anyway.<\/li>\n<li>She has that thing somewhere. In her bag? Her locker? Where was it?<\/li>\n<li>You ask a simple question. She gives you a convoluted answer that is not what you were asking for at all but turns out, after a bit of a tangent, to be more accurate than you would ever expect from someone her age. It seems like an accident, but it happens just often enough to raise doubts.<\/li>\n<li>She always seems to be working on the task you were doing 5 minutes ago, not the task you\u2019re doing now. She has no idea what task you\u2019re doing now.<\/li>\n<li>Whenever she works on group projects, she has the biggest, grandest ideas and contributes the least amount of work to the finished product. Or she does the whole project herself and turns it in 3 days late. Or she has no idea what\u2019s going on with the project and does her pieces incorrectly because she doesn\u2019t know what the big picture is supposed to be.<\/li>\n<li>She can\u2019t remember the multiplication tables. She can\u2019t, no matter what you do to try to help her. The information won\u2019t go in. (She has the presidents memorized in order, with their years and vice presidents.)<\/li>\n<li>She walks into the room, blinks at you, and says \u201cI have no idea why I\u2019m here.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>She forgot the homework. It\u2019s midnight, and her friend called 2 hours ago to kindly remind her that the big project is due tomorrow and she\u2019s been working on it for 2 hours (it was supposed to be 2 weeks) and she\u2019s crying and trying and her parent finally puts her to bed. She will get up in half an hour and start again, stay up until 4am trying to finish, not even sure what the requirements are because she can\u2019t find the sheet but refusing to stop until she falls asleep on her desk.<\/li>\n<li>You ask her what she\u2019s learned, and she can\u2019t tell you. But in her head, her spaceship\u2019s design is far more accurate now that she understands friction and propulsion and other things you weren\u2019t actually trying to teach her. Or, you ask her what she\u2019s learned and she can\u2019t shut up about it, going on long after you\u2019re very much Done with this conversation.<\/li>\n<li>She mastered this task last month, but now she has no idea where to start. Again. You go over it with her. Again. She gets through the first two steps and can\u2019t remember what comes next. Again.<\/li>\n<li>She\u2019s late. Again.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Things you don\u2019t see:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The world is a fascinating, beautiful, bustling, overwhelming place, and she will always be Not. Good. Enough. for it. She knows failure more than success. It\u2019s no wonder she wants to be somewhere else.<\/li>\n<li>She often has insomnia because she can\u2019t turn her brain off to sleep at night.<\/li>\n<li>The tiniest accommodations make it so she can breathe again.<\/li>\n<li>There is a place where she shines. It\u2019s the athletic field, the music<br \/>\nroom, debates, her kindness when she takes care of others, painting, her<br \/>\n fashion sense, hiking, telling stories. Somewhere, she shines. She<br \/>\ndoesn\u2019t think that means anything, though, because everywhere else she<br \/>\nis staggering through double gravity and wondering how everyone makes it<br \/>\n look easy.<\/li>\n<li>She has no idea that she could shine everywhere &#8211; that it\u2019s the rigid structure failing her, not her failing it.<\/li>\n<li>She is on another planet during 3rd period, literally, inventing a fictional language and a syllabary to go with it, and no one has noticed because they\u2019re droning on about test prep.<\/li>\n<li>Sometimes she feels like an alien.<\/li>\n<li>When she\u2019s fully here, in the classroom, she sees who else is struggling, like a kind of visible kinship. She could tell you who and why, but she won\u2019t because you won\u2019t ask.<\/li>\n<li>The day she finds out the bell curve was a eugenicist\u2019s lie, she wants to burn the world down.<\/li>\n<li>It\u2019s not an \u201cactive imagination\u201d or \u201cescapism\u201d or a \u201cfantasy life\u201d &#8211; it\u2019s self-care to fight depression and anxiety caused by being unable to meet the rigid expectations of an inflexible school system and society at large.<\/li>\n<li>She finally gets diagnosed in her 20s or 30s, after bringing her son in to the doctor to address his obvious ADHD. Going over the checklist in the waiting room, one hand absently snagged in the back of her son\u2019s shirt to keep him from climbing the potted tree in the corner, she has a moment of stunning clarity:<i> this is me<\/i>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>* Note: There are boys and AMAB non-binary folks with non-hyperactive ADD as well, and we should not overlook them. Really, the only substantive reason to divide us into hyperactive and non-hyperactive is the structure of our school system and childcare, which mark hyperactivity as a behavioral issue to be addressed and everything else as just personality. Neither is accurate.<\/p>\n<p>** This list is a conglomeration of experiences relayed to me anecdotally from several ladies of various ages and one dude. It\u2019s not exhaustive or accurate for everyone.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Wow. Thank you. This, all of this is so true and I\u2019m tearing up because it\u2019s always a relief to know that you aren\u2019t alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>wrangletangle: seanchaidh101: merindab: Still reading \u201cYou Mean I\u2019m Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid?\u201d &#8211; a book for and about adults with add. And this is all me, especially that last bit. It\u2019s sad there seems to be so many of us. The things you see: She is a mess of papers. Trailing things, losing things, &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/27\/wrangletangle-seanchaidh101-merindab-still\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[67,5145,111,6321],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94964"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94964"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94964\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":94967,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94964\/revisions\/94967"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}