{"id":94757,"date":"2016-06-29T09:10:48","date_gmt":"2016-06-29T09:10:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/29\/syqitten-auroralynches-you-know-what-i\/"},"modified":"2016-06-29T09:10:48","modified_gmt":"2016-06-29T09:10:48","slug":"syqitten-auroralynches-you-know-what-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/29\/syqitten-auroralynches-you-know-what-i\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/syqitten.tumblr.com\/post\/118163704332\" target=\"_blank\">syqitten<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/auroralynches.tumblr.com\/post\/117950242574\" target=\"_blank\">auroralynches<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>you know what i really want? a modern dudebro vampire. just a typical obnoxious straight boy in a neon tank top and cargo shorts who also happens to be a creature of the night.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cokay, dude, i\u2019m only feeding on you\u00a0\u2018cause i\u2019m starving and there aren\u2019t any hot girls around. no homo.\u201d\u00a0\u201cwait, you\u2019re gonna suck my blood?\u201d\u00a0\u201cno, i\u2019m gonna drink your blood. i don\u2019t suck, that\u2019s gay. don\u2019t make this weird, bro\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cah, i see you\u2019re staring pensively out the window, chad. ruminating on the curse of your newfound immortality?\u201d\u00a0\u201cnah man, it\u2019s just\u2026 i got, like, some flecks of blood on my adidas while i was feeding and they haven\u2019t come out\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cwe do not drink\u2026 wine.\u201d\u00a0\u201cokay but is beer cool? and can we still smoke weed?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>he joins a 24-hour gym because being undead and allergic to sunlight is no excuse for skipping leg day. tragic music swells as he looks over his\u00a0\u201csun\u2019s out guns out\u201d tanks (he has seven of them). his coven is a fraternity. someone make this happen<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><figure class=\"tmblr-full\"><img src=\"https:\/\/78.media.tumblr.com\/da8f62bd2da7b1f6eccaf6606d633267\/tumblr_inline_nnusx3Zn5p1sn7hbo_540.png\" class=\"\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/p>\n<p>ask and ye shall recieve<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>syqitten: auroralynches: you know what i really want? a modern dudebro vampire. just a typical obnoxious straight boy in a neon tank top and cargo shorts who also happens to be a creature of the night. \u201cokay, dude, i\u2019m only feeding on you\u00a0\u2018cause i\u2019m starving and there aren\u2019t any hot girls around. no homo.\u201d\u00a0\u201cwait, you\u2019re &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/06\/29\/syqitten-auroralynches-you-know-what-i\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[11916,100,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94757"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94757"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94757\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}