{"id":93415,"date":"2016-07-08T16:55:45","date_gmt":"2016-07-08T16:55:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/07\/08\/star-anise-lachesismeg-strawberryspoop\/"},"modified":"2016-07-08T16:55:45","modified_gmt":"2016-07-08T16:55:45","slug":"star-anise-lachesismeg-strawberryspoop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/07\/08\/star-anise-lachesismeg-strawberryspoop\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

star-anise<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

lachesismeg<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

strawberryspoop<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

Viciously destroy the idea that bullying is a normal part of growing up.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is so hard for me as a parent to deal with, from both sides.<\/p>\n

Like it brings up all of my issues, and I so want my kid to not have to deal with bullying. \u00a0And I have no idea how to do that.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019ll repeat something I\u2019ve said before<\/a>:<\/p>\n

I was doing my Master\u2019s thesis on bullying until the topic triggered me back to my own childhood so badly I dropped out of that degree program. \u00a0Let me share something I know.<\/p>\n

We haven\u2019t quite found anti-bullying programs that stop bullying once it\u2019s started, but we canreduce the harm bullying does. \u00a0Just a few small changes to classroom culture, like limiting children\u2019s opportunities to exclude each other, or spending time talking about respectful communication, has visible changes. \u00a0Yeah, there\u2019s still a hierarchy of popularity, but kids at the bottom of the ladder go from having no friends on average to having one or two. \u00a0And that\u2019s enough to make or break a childhood. \u00a0(Sources: one<\/a> two<\/a> three<\/a> four<\/a> five<\/a>)<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the other thing.<\/p>\n

There is one major factor that mediates the link between childhood bullying and adult mental illnesses (predominantly depression, anxiety, and eating disorders). \u00a0It\u2019s self-blame.<\/p>\n

What really damages children isn\u2019t precisely being bullied; it\u2019s believing that they deserve to be bullied.<\/i><\/b> If children don\u2019t blame themselves for being victims, they are much more resilient and experience fewer long-term negative consequences. (Sources: one<\/a> two<\/a> three<\/a> four<\/a> five<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Society blames children for their victimization by bullies all the time. \u00a0It says, \u201cThere is something about you that causes people to bully you.\u201c \u00a0Common responses to bullied kids are things like: \u201cDon\u2019t give them a reaction.\u201d (They\u2019re bullying you because you get upset.) \u00a0\u201cThey\u2019re just jealous.\u201d (They\u2019re bullying you because you do well.) \u00a0\u201cLet\u2019s teach you some social skills.\u201d \u00a0(They\u2019re bullying you because you act weird.)<\/p>\n

If we can just change that one thing, we could prevent a lot of damage. \u00a0What bullied kids desperately need at the very least is a caring community that says: You are not alone. \u00a0It\u2019s not your fault. \u00a0What they\u2019re doing is not okay.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

star-anise: lachesismeg: strawberryspoop: Viciously destroy the idea that bullying is a normal part of growing up. This is so hard for me as a parent to deal with, from both sides. Like it brings up all of my issues, and I so want my kid to not have to deal with bullying. \u00a0And I have … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[1953,11785,11783,11782,11784],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93415"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=93415"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93415\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=93415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=93415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=93415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}