{"id":93051,"date":"2016-07-11T06:48:11","date_gmt":"2016-07-11T06:48:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/07\/11\/callmebliss-belovedbright\/"},"modified":"2016-07-11T06:48:11","modified_gmt":"2016-07-11T06:48:11","slug":"callmebliss-belovedbright","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2016\/07\/11\/callmebliss-belovedbright\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

callmebliss<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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belovedbright<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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beautytruthandstrangeness<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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naamahdarling<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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elodieunderglass<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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fuckyeahdiomedes<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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mehofkirkwall<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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ryannahwood<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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fuck-me-barnes<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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pringlesaremydivision<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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i-will-not-be-caged<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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misa-nthropy<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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threefootroo<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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this-simple-mind<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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bloodyfrank<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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supervillainesses<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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loracarol<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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petergatsbygreen<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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wittyandcharming<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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lufthexe<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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deluxetoaster<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

okay, listen for a sec. We all know the \u201c\u201d\u201c"American\u201d\u201c\u201d\u201c\u201d Harry Potter universe houses are trash for many, many reasons. One of the reasons is that America is too big to have just one wizarding school where there are only 4 houses, right? so I propose that we in MA instead start sorting ourselves into these exclusive New England houses I made up as I wrote this post:<\/p>\n

-Dunked Donut (those who are loyal to their ideals, strong-willed and hardworking but susceptible to black-and-white thinking)<\/p>\n

-Duck Boat (those with a hunger for life experience, sharp and analytical but also impulsive and desperate for thrills)<\/p>\n

-Lobster (those who are blue-blood types with a taste for power and the intelligence to lead effectively but tend to be overzealous and can\u2019t appreciate the subtleties of teamwork)<\/p>\n

-Murphy, they\u2019re literally just the Dropkick Murphys we made a whole house for them and none of them even attend the school it\u2019s just in case one of them shows up one day<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Florida Houses:<\/p>\n

-Sunburn<\/p>\n

-Gator<\/p>\n

-Pub sub<\/p>\n

-Gun<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

California Houses:<\/p>\n

-In n Out<\/p>\n

-Chili Peppers<\/p>\n

-Redwood<\/p>\n

-Drought\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Tennessee Houses:<\/p>\n

-Mountain Dewds<\/p>\n

-Cowboys without Horses<\/p>\n

-Drunken Housewifes<\/p>\n

-Dead Deer Collectors<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Oregon Houses:<\/p>\n

– Sasquatch<\/p>\n

– Dysentary<\/p>\n

– Hippies<\/p>\n

– Hipsters<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Missouri Houses:<\/p>\n

-Tornados<\/p>\n

-Corn<\/p>\n

-Suburban Deer<\/p>\n

-Mosquitos<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

New York Houses:<\/p>\n

-Bacon, egg, and cheese<\/p>\n

-Road Rage<\/p>\n

-Constant Yelling<\/p>\n

-Pizza<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Nevada Houses:<\/p>\n

-Air Conditioning <\/p>\n

-Stripper Glitter<\/p>\n

-Chlorine Hair<\/p>\n

-Indie Band<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

wisconsin houses:<\/p>\n

– cheddar<\/p>\n

– gouda<\/p>\n

– mozzarella<\/p>\n

– the green bay packers<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Ohio houses:<\/p>\n

– corn corn rotate soy<\/p>\n

– Hell Is Real<\/p>\n

– industrial river pollution <\/p>\n

– buckeyes<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Texas houses:<\/p>\n

– piney woods<\/p>\n

– black gold<\/p>\n

– cow manure<\/p>\n

– big hair<\/p>\n

– Keep Austin Weird<\/p>\n

(We need five, because everything\u2019s bigger in Texas)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Illinois houses:<\/p>\n

– Cubs<\/p>\n

– Sox <\/p>\n

– Bears <\/p>\n

– Blackhawks<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

nah fam Illinois houses are\u00a0<\/p>\n

– The City<\/p>\n

– South of I-80<\/p>\n

that\u2019s it, that\u2019s all, we only have two houses<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

North Carolina:
– cookout
-Eastern barbecue
– Lexington Barbecue<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Washington has Two schools, one for each half the state aside the native school<\/p>\n

WetSide School:<\/p>\n

-Starbucks
-Rain<\/p>\n

DrySide:<\/p>\n

-Flannel
-Wildfire<\/p>\n

They\u2019re technically one school but WetSide gets all the funding<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Colorado:<\/p>\n

-Weed<\/p>\n

-Hiking<\/p>\n

That\u2019s it those are the only houses<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Haha wait what if it was more like the actual boarding school house system used in real life? the New England school would be divided up like<\/p>\n

Mainepain<\/p>\n

New Hampster<\/p>\n

Masshole<\/p>\n

Connecticunt<\/p>\n

Vermonster<\/p>\n

with everyone from Rhode Island having to live in a shed out the back<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Oklahoma Houses:<\/p>\n

Traffic Barrels<\/p>\n

Parking Lot Grackle<\/p>\n

Blue Whale<\/p>\n

GUTS<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Capital District New York Houses:<\/p>\n

Jimmy\u2019s Lunch: Nothing can kill you, trash princess. DADA experts. Day drinkers. Either your best friend or a large squishy projectile to hurl at your worst enemy.<\/p>\n

Honest Weight: Hippies and SJWs. Keep sharing witchcraft with the NoMajs, which is great for Herbology profits. Raging fight between the PETA crowd and the Care of Magical Creatures geeks.\u00a0<\/p>\n

677 Prime: Power and people who think they can tell the difference between $15 dollar wine and $50 dollar wine. Good at flashy charms and transfigurations.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Whistling Kettle: Nerds with a good sense of smell. Great at potions, if only they\u2019d study – they\u2019re too busy doing their\u00a0\u201cpassion projects.\u201d Tend to be good on a broom.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Actually the more I think about it, the more I completely disagree with the Cap Dist houses. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Stuyvesant \u2013 The *really* old families all belong here. \u00a0As often as not, they\u2019ve got name recognition but their wealth is failing. \u00a0Social, charming, ambitious.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Stewart \u2013 Second youngest official house. \u00a0The grand catch-all. \u00a0Solid, dependable, kind with just enough fun. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Henry \u2013 Tinkerers & intellectuals. \u00a0Named for Joseph Henry, former Albany Academy professor & secret wizard. \u00a0Has become more codified and less daring over time, but still focused on intellectual pursuits.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Muh-he-kun-ne-tuk \u2013 Youngest official house. \u00a0Named for the Mohican name for the Hudson River. \u00a0Strong focus on combating the erasure of Native contributions to magic. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Egg \u2013 Unofficial house. \u00a0Rebellious mix of the other houses that comprises of a whole lot of\u00a0\u201cwho says we can\u2019t?\u201d attitude. \u00a0Interested as much in modern muggle science as magic. \u00a0Named for\u00a0\u201cThe Egg,\u201d they take pride in the fact that what failed elsewhere just might work here. \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The Egg<\/p>\n

Exciting and old, The Egg<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll do what you\u2019re told the Egg<\/p>\n

The Egg<\/p>\n

No corners for you<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

callmebliss: belovedbright: beautytruthandstrangeness: naamahdarling: elodieunderglass: fuckyeahdiomedes: mehofkirkwall: ryannahwood: fuck-me-barnes: pringlesaremydivision: i-will-not-be-caged: misa-nthropy: threefootroo: this-simple-mind: bloodyfrank: supervillainesses: loracarol: petergatsbygreen: wittyandcharming: lufthexe: deluxetoaster: okay, listen for a sec. We all know the \u201c\u201d\u201c"American\u201d\u201c\u201d\u201c\u201d Harry Potter universe houses are trash for many, many reasons. One of the reasons is that America is too big to have just one … <\/p>\n

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