{"id":283083,"date":"2018-09-24T07:35:34","date_gmt":"2018-09-24T07:35:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/09\/24\/i-wanna-tell-you-guys-a-story\/"},"modified":"2018-09-24T07:35:34","modified_gmt":"2018-09-24T07:35:34","slug":"i-wanna-tell-you-guys-a-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/09\/24\/i-wanna-tell-you-guys-a-story\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

agent-barnes-of-shield<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

the-s-s-anna<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

I wanna tell you guys a story,<\/h1>\n

Not too long ago, my friend Bella came out as aromantic to me, and now I\u2019ve got some things to say.<\/p>\n

I was the one who told her what aromantic means, because I was explaining different sexual orientations to her. I remember saying, \u201cAsexualiy is when you have romantic attraction, but no sexual attraction.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bella immedently, without missing a beat, asked, \u201cIs there an opposite to that?\u201d<\/p>\n

I asked what she meant, and she asked if there was a term for sexual attraction but no romantic attraction. I told her about aromantics. She got weirdly quiet, then excused herself.<\/p>\n

Not two weeks later I was heading to my boat. I was supposed to meet Bella and another one of our muteral friends there for a day of fishing.<\/p>\n

As soon as I was in earshot, I saw Bella storming off the boat, and our other friend standing there like an idiot. Boi had no<\/i> idea what was happening.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Bella isn\u2019t looking where she\u2019s going and walks smack dab into me. That\u2019s when I realized she was crying. Puffy red eyes, wet cheeks, the whole nine yards\u2026 And if you know anything about Bells, she does not cry. Ever. <\/p>\n

She\u2019s been through some serious crap in her life, and she does not cry. She\u2019s tough as nails. Bella has a steel core. She does not not cry. I\u2019ve seen her fall off a roof and break her arm before, not a single tear. I can\u2019t stress this enough, Bella. Doesn\u2019t. Cry.<\/p>\n

So seeing her in tears shook me. I took her by the shoulders and escorted her somewhere more private where we could talk. We ended up in the women\u2019s restroom, which was weird as fuck for me, because haven\u2019t been in a woman\u2019s rest room for years. Luckily it was empty, and I\u2019m realistic, I know I don\u2019t pass so well, so I don\u2019t think anyone would have said anything anyway.<\/p>\n

Before I can even ask her what\u2019s wrong she hugs me around my middle and burys her face in my hoodie. Then, in a voice I can only describe as traumatized, she says, \u201cI think I\u2019m broken.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never seen her in so much pain, and Bella and I are CLOSE. She\u2019s one of my dearest friends. She\u2019s like my little sister, but if she\u2019s like my sister, our other muteral friend is like her twin. He and Bella have know each other WAY longer, they\u2019re practically inseparable. They come as a pair. They\u2019re a duo. They\u2019re a package deal. <\/p>\n

Appearently, said muteral friend asked Bella out and forcefully kissed her. She shoved him off, and told him she\u2019s aromantic, which she only recently figured out. She wasn\u2019t ready to be out, but this muteral friend left her no choice. She tried telling him no, and he didn\u2019t listen. Bella saw no other option. <\/p>\n

Quote on quote, this is what he said to Bella. \u201cThat\u2019s okay. You just haven\u2019t dated me yet. We\u2019ve been like, unofficially<\/i> together for years. You\u2019re probably just freaked out that it\u2019s finally going somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

After that I\u2019m not 100% clear on what happened, but apparently Bella kept saying no Nd trying to explain herself, but he kept insisting he could \u2018fix her.\u2019<\/p>\n

Eventudally she started crying and stormed away. That\u2019s when I found her.<\/p>\n

Keep in mind, this was her first experience coming out, and her best, closest friend insisted he could fix her and forcefully kissed her. I found out later he also implied corrective rape would \u2018solve the problem.\u2019<\/p>\n

Bella was traumatized. She\u2019s still traumatized. I tried to make her feel better by buying her an aro pride shirt, and taking her go a local LGBTQ+ hang out. I wanted her to be around like minded people, so she could see she wasn\u2019t broken, and her identity deserved to be respected.<\/p>\n

Instead of a warm, welcoming environment\u2026 The first thing someone said to her was, \u201cThis place is for REAL lgbt people. You don\u2019t belong here.\u201d He also implied she wasn\u2019t human.<\/p>\n

Just think about that for a minute. Her first experiences with being an out aromantic have been limited to;<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. A person she trusted more than anyone forcing himself upon her, claiming she was ill, and needed to be fixed. (Raped.)<\/li>\n
  2. Sobbing in my arms in the women\u2019s restroom because she thought she was broken and defective.<\/li>\n
  3. Being told she wasn\u2019t welcomed in LGBTQ+ spaces and called inhuman.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    This isn\u2019t what I want for her. Bella deserves better than this. She needs a support system, not all this crap. I\u2019ve spent the past week trying to undo all the damage exclusionists, arophobes, and people she trusted did.<\/p>\n

    Aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQ+ community. You literally cannot change my mind.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    Your friend is beautiful and so lucky to have you. Please hug her for me<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    agent-barnes-of-shield: the-s-s-anna: I wanna tell you guys a story, Not too long ago, my friend Bella came out as aromantic to me, and now I\u2019ve got some things to say. I was the one who told her what aromantic means, because I was explaining different sexual orientations to her. I remember saying, \u201cAsexualiy is when … <\/p>\n

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