{"id":281916,"date":"2018-10-05T17:54:13","date_gmt":"2018-10-05T17:54:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/10\/05\/buckysbears-cutiequeercris-dysperdis\/"},"modified":"2018-10-05T17:54:13","modified_gmt":"2018-10-05T17:54:13","slug":"buckysbears-cutiequeercris-dysperdis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/10\/05\/buckysbears-cutiequeercris-dysperdis\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

buckysbears<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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cutiequeercris<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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dysperdis<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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dysperdis<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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so this has been bouncing around my head for a while and I\u2019m still not sure if this is the best way to phrase it, but\u2026<\/p>\n

making opportunities for everyone to explore their gender and orientation means nothing if it\u2019s not safe for people to be wrong<\/i> about their gender and orientation. otherwise, \u201cexploring your identity\u201d becomes limited to \u201cconfirming what you were already pretty sure of,\u201d which isn\u2019t going to do anything for anyone who isn\u2019t already at that stage.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

like, time and again i\u2019ve seen people questioning whether they\u2019re allowed to use certain pronouns or labels if they\u2019re still questioning those identities or if they need to wait until they\u2019re more sure of the label. or people being worried that changes in how they identify and the language they use to describe themselves will validate stereotypes.<\/p>\n

and this is the result of a culture where choosing an identity label that ends up being wrong is far worse than never exploring your identity in the first place. it\u2019s the same reason people freak out about trans kids, because what if they decide they aren\u2019t trans after all in the future? it\u2019s also why i\u2019ve run into multiple callouts on this site that include things like \u201c10 years ago they called themself a \u2018lesbian with an exception\u2019 for a couple of months,\u201d because trying to reconcile old identities with new experiences is seen as a threat.<\/p>\n

and in the end, the people this attitude ends up punishing are folks who are targeted by cissexism and\/or heterosexism, but are lacking some of the language or the experiences or even the community that would allow them to express how those systems impact them.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Take all the time you need to figure it out. Try different clothes, pronouns, names. Our society doesnt make this easy. Theres nothing wrong with being wrong while you figure it out<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

and just because you settle on something different later doesnt mean you were\u00a0\u2018wrong\u2019 before\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

buckysbears: cutiequeercris: dysperdis: dysperdis: so this has been bouncing around my head for a while and I\u2019m still not sure if this is the best way to phrase it, but\u2026 making opportunities for everyone to explore their gender and orientation means nothing if it\u2019s not safe for people to be wrong about their gender and … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[19484,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281916"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=281916"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281916\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=281916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=281916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=281916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}