{"id":280598,"date":"2018-10-17T07:35:41","date_gmt":"2018-10-17T07:35:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/10\/17\/have-you-ever-fostered-a-kitten-or-been-caring-for\/"},"modified":"2018-10-17T07:35:41","modified_gmt":"2018-10-17T07:35:41","slug":"have-you-ever-fostered-a-kitten-or-been-caring-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/10\/17\/have-you-ever-fostered-a-kitten-or-been-caring-for\/","title":{"rendered":"Have you ever fostered a kitten or been caring for a cat that was just really stupid? Just absolutely fucking stupid. Like the stupidest cat"},"content":{"rendered":"

followthebluebell<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

let me tell you about Kiki.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

When I was 7 years old and at the optometrist, I was what\u2019s known as a Little Shit.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t sit still.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to read the letters.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to do anything except go home.\u00a0 Eventually, my mom bribed me with a kitten.\u00a0 A PERSIAN kitten, freshly purchased from the extremely shady pet shop directly across the street.\u00a0 It worked like a charm, I\u2019m sad to say, because I\u2019m extremely vulnerable to kittens.\u00a0 tbh, considering the way my mom was looking at those kittens, she would have bought one anyway. <\/p>\n

My dad says that she always did have a weakness for dumb animals.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s why she married me,\u201d he always says.\u00a0 Anyway, this is a story about a Very Dumb Cat, not Heterosexual Hilarity Hour. <\/p>\n

This kitten weighed about a pound and I suspect 75% of that was fluff.\u00a0 She was smokey grey, had a perfect little nose (she was what\u2019s called a doll-faced or traditional Persian.\u00a0 No pug faces here!), and had the IQ of a hammer.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

I mean this with all the love in my heart, but you could just look into those eyes and absolutely KNOW that there was nothing going on in there.\u00a0\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t even a case of \u2018no lights on upstairs\u2019.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t even an upstairs.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t even a ground floor.\u00a0 There was just NOTHING going on in there.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

Kiki didn\u2019t understand some simple concepts\u2014-stairs, for example.\u00a0 She never figured them out, even after 7 years of living in a house with stairs.\u00a0 Her preferred method of locomotion was to cry very loudly until someone carried her where she wanted to go.\u00a0 One could argue that this was, in fact, very clever of her. <\/p>\n

Please don\u2019t give her the credit.\u00a0 It was pretty clear that she was simply confused about how stairs could go up AND down at the same time. <\/p>\n

TBH, she never figured out how to get onto furniture either.\u00a0 She was fully capable of jumping and playing like any other cat, but it seemed as soon as she had to THINK about something, everything else shut down.\u00a0 Like\u2026 one day, I was playing with her and a piece of string.\u00a0 She was delighted and jumping and playing.\u00a0 Just normal kitten stuff.\u00a0 Then she decided she wanted to sit in my lap instead.\u00a0 I mean, i SAY \u201cdecided\u201d, but it could\u2019ve just been a passing air mote depositing the idea in her head. <\/p>\n

The point is, she abruptly forgot how to jump onto furniture.\u00a0 She forgot how to JUMP.\u00a0 She just kinda sat there and stared at me for a few seconds before starting to cry.\u00a0\u00a0 She was actually pretty distressed by it and didn\u2019t stop until I picked her up for a cuddle.\u00a0 Thankfully, she seemed to forget it pretty quickly.\u00a0 No room for anything besides the moment, I guess. <\/p>\n

She also never grew very much.\u00a0 Even as an adult, she barely pushed 3 pounds.\u00a0 She also had a serious dental issue.\u00a0 Her canines stuck straight out horizontally.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t very big so they didn\u2019t push past her lips or anything, but it was the most baffling thing her vet had ever seen. <\/p>\n

I loved that dumb animal.\u00a0 She was a very good girl and I miss her. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

followthebluebell: let me tell you about Kiki.\u00a0 When I was 7 years old and at the optometrist, I was what\u2019s known as a Little Shit.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t sit still.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to read the letters.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to do anything except go home.\u00a0 Eventually, my mom bribed me with a kitten.\u00a0 A PERSIAN … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Have you ever fostered a kitten or been caring for a cat that was just really stupid? Just absolutely fucking stupid. Like the stupidest cat”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[58,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/280598"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=280598"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/280598\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=280598"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=280598"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=280598"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}