{"id":279397,"date":"2018-10-28T12:21:07","date_gmt":"2018-10-28T12:21:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/10\/28\/dear-men-writers-2\/"},"modified":"2018-10-28T12:21:07","modified_gmt":"2018-10-28T12:21:07","slug":"dear-men-writers-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/10\/28\/dear-men-writers-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Men Writers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/furryarbiterangel.tumblr.com\/post\/178572347092\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">furryarbiterangel<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/infinitelyblankpage.tumblr.com\/post\/178562462520\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">infinitelyblankpage<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lmorasey.tumblr.com\/post\/178501984913\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">lmorasey<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/generalistherbalist.tumblr.com\/post\/177609215118\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">generalistherbalist<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/hattedhedgehog.tumblr.com\/post\/165591065037\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">hattedhedgehog<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/everystarstorm.tumblr.com\/post\/165577944245\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">everystarstorm<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/phantoms-lair.tumblr.com\/post\/165577056013\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">phantoms-lair<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/jabberwockypie.tumblr.com\/post\/165117234407\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">jabberwockypie<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/ariibatchelder.tumblr.com\/post\/161755486813\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">ariibatchelder<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/thatsnicebutimmarried.tumblr.com\/post\/160743189535\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">thatsnicebutimmarried<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/musicalhell.tumblr.com\/post\/159005502873\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">musicalhell<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/valeria2067.tumblr.com\/post\/157705948317\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">valeria2067<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/marvel-lucy.tumblr.com\/post\/155085958889\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">marvel-lucy<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/cassiopeiassky.tumblr.com\/post\/155085121004\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">cassiopeiassky<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/angryschnauzer.tumblr.com\/post\/155078286280\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">angryschnauzer<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/mistytang.tumblr.com\/post\/154963176376\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">mistytang<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/ivegotthetriforce.tumblr.com\/post\/154960489177\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">ivegotthetriforce<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/deliciouspineapple.tumblr.com\/post\/154954711557\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">deliciouspineapple<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/annerocious.tumblr.com\/post\/153559740070\/dear-men-writers\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">annerocious<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Lesser known facts when writing women:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>High heeled shoes don\u2019t become flats if you break the heels off.<\/li>\n<li>The posts of earrings aren\u2019t sharp.<\/li>\n<li>Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.<\/li>\n<li>You can\u2019t hold in a period like pee.<\/li>\n<li>Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><i>Feel free to add your own.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8211; Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.<\/p>\n<p>-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8211; Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Most can\u2019t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Insecurity in appearance doesn\u2019t mean \u201cbuy me a drink\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. \u00a0If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won\u2019t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Yes to all of this. \u00a0But also:<\/p>\n<p>If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back. \u00a0No. \u00a0If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place. \u00a0Furthermore, there\u2019s probably a can\u2019s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds. \u00a0There\u2019s no cascading happening here &#8211; the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>This is one of the funniest posts I\u2019ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they\u2019re impossible<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>^^^This though<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and\/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.<\/p>\n<p>GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC. \u00a0If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models. \u00a0We become squinty.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.<\/p>\n<p>-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them. <\/p>\n<p>-women\u2019s nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkin\u2019 knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>if you\u2019re being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, <i>then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebody\u2019s nipples are, <\/i><b><i>jim butcher<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8211; Wearing a bra that doesn\u2019t fit HURTS.\u00a0 It\u2019s not sexy to wear a bra that\u2019s \u201ctwo sizes too small\u201d, it\u2019d make your clothes hang oddly and you\u2019d have a weird, uncomfortable \u201cquad-boob\u201d effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Also, after removing a too small bra, there\u2019s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>-Lips aren\u2019t just naturally red\u00a0\u201cas if she\u2019d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she\u2019s so perfect,\u201d my dear little Kvothe from \u2018<i>Name of the Wind\u2019<\/i>. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it\u2019s either perfume or something she\u2019d been eating recently.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I\u2019ve been appreciating this post but now it\u2019s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don\u2019t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Is it weird that I\u2019m female and wasn\u2019t aware of a solid third of these? <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I don\u2019t know half these things despite being a woman<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.<\/p>\n<p>Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think \u201coh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right now\u201d. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>furryarbiterangel: infinitelyblankpage: lmorasey: generalistherbalist: hattedhedgehog: everystarstorm: phantoms-lair: jabberwockypie: ariibatchelder: thatsnicebutimmarried: musicalhell: valeria2067: marvel-lucy: cassiopeiassky: angryschnauzer: mistytang: ivegotthetriforce: deliciouspineapple: annerocious: Lesser known facts when writing women: High heeled shoes don\u2019t become flats if you break the heels off. The posts of earrings aren\u2019t sharp. Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet. &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/10\/28\/dear-men-writers-2\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Dear Men Writers&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[4921,4,26444,45],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279397"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=279397"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279397\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=279397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=279397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=279397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}