{"id":276821,"date":"2018-11-25T02:50:03","date_gmt":"2018-11-25T02:50:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/11\/25\/tsunasty-deafonyourleft\/"},"modified":"2018-12-04T15:42:33","modified_gmt":"2018-12-04T15:42:33","slug":"tsunasty-deafonyourleft","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/11\/25\/tsunasty-deafonyourleft\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

tsunasty<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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deafonyourleft<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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totallytrailbreaker<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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skellydun<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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rip santa.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

transcript:
\u201cSo we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they\u2019re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic\u2026 like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep\u2013 and they don\u2019t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams\u00a0\u2018festive holiday cheer\u2019 like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin\u2019 will jingle your jangles more.
So, um, this woman comes in and she\u2019s like,\u00a0\u201cDo you have these?\u201d and I\u2019m like,\u00a0\u201cOh my god, yeah!\u201d So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is,\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not racist, but\u2026\u201d and I\u2019m like, well, I can\u2019t\u2013 I\u2019m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like\u2013 if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we\u2019re talking about Santa<\/i>. Like\u2013 (stuttering) did we switch subjects?
And so, um, I\u2019m in like, I\u2013 the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like,\u00a0\u201cThis is not right<\/i>.\u201d and I\u2019m like, okay, I\u2019m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she\u2019s like,\u00a0\u201cNo.<\/i>\u00a0Santa is white<\/i>.\u201d And I\u2019m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I\u2019m in\u2013 I\u2019m about to tell her, I\u2019m like, mid-sentence, like,\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.\u201d And she\u2019s like,\u00a0\u201cThis is wrong, I want them taken down.\u201d She interrupts me, says that, and I\u2019m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I\u2019m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.
So, um, I\u2019m like,\u00a0\u201cI can\u2019t take these Santas down.\u201d And she\u2019s like,\u00a0\u201cWhy not?!\u201d And I\u2019m like,\u00a0\u201cYou either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.\u201d And that was like, the<\/i>\u00a0stupidest thing I could have ever said, because\u2013 (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus\u2019s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design\u2013 it\u2019s big\u2013 she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating<\/i>\u00a0these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down\u2026 and I\u2019m like, oh my god! What\u2013 what is happening?
So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I\u2019m like,\u00a0\u201cMa\u2019am, ma\u2019am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I\u2019m going to have to call someone.\u201d So she like, stops, and she\u2019s like, beet red, and like, huffin\u2019 and puffin\u2019, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she\u2019s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she\u2019s like,\u00a0\u201cThe Santa I know<\/i>\u00a0is white.\u201d And then she walks away. And I\u2019m like, well\u2013 I\u2019m processing what\u2019s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you <\/i>know? Santa\u2019s not real. So unless you\u2019re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I\u2019m like, that\u2019s pretty impressive, but how ya doin\u2019 that. And, um, I\u2013 the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I\u2019m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

(Source:<\/span> http:\/\/tsunasty.tumblr.com\/<\/a>)<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb transcript:\u201cSo we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. … <\/p>\n

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