{"id":276144,"date":"2018-12-03T09:23:18","date_gmt":"2018-12-03T09:23:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/12\/03\/airyairyquitecontrary-nudityandnerdery\/"},"modified":"2018-12-04T02:00:55","modified_gmt":"2018-12-04T02:00:55","slug":"airyairyquitecontrary-nudityandnerdery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/12\/03\/airyairyquitecontrary-nudityandnerdery\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-276144 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/12\/03\/airyairyquitecontrary-nudityandnerdery\/attachment\/276145\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/tumblr_me8e8hWqJa1rnvr0so1_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/tumblr_me8e8hWqJa1rnvr0so1_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/tumblr_me8e8hWqJa1rnvr0so1_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/airyairyquitecontrary.tumblr.com\/post\/180545390627\/nudityandnerdery-zornsable\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">airyairyquitecontrary<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/nudityandnerdery.tumblr.com\/post\/180542114777\/zornsable-reversingyourpolarity-elidyce\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">nudityandnerdery<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/zornsable.tumblr.com\/post\/180470486899\/reversingyourpolarity-elidyce\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">zornsable<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/reversingyourpolarity.tumblr.com\/post\/130210321509\" target=\"_blank\">reversingyourpolarity<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/elidyce.tumblr.com\/post\/127789119943\" target=\"_blank\">elidyce<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/seananmcguire.tumblr.com\/post\/127766227435\" target=\"_blank\">seananmcguire<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/priscellie.tumblr.com\/post\/127765574578\" target=\"_blank\">priscellie<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/ecnamor-lacimehc-ym.tumblr.com\/post\/69661309423\" target=\"_blank\">ecnamor-lacimehc-ym<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/gallifrey-feels.tumblr.com\/post\/69586059052\" target=\"_blank\">gallifrey-feels<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/sociopathic-italian-grandmas.tumblr.com\/post\/69576627876\" target=\"_blank\">sociopathic-italian-grandmas<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/millshouse.tumblr.com\/post\/69576149691\" target=\"_blank\">millshouse<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/meganiun.tumblr.com\/post\/69571059459\" target=\"_blank\">meganiun<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/happyvegetable.tumblr.com\/post\/68791805953\" target=\"_blank\">happyvegetable<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/kennilworthy-thisp.tumblr.com\/post\/68779486407\" target=\"_blank\">kennilworthy-thisp<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/derinthemadscientist.tumblr.com\/post\/46394341678\" target=\"_blank\">derinthemadscientist<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/lumoslouis.tumblr.com\/post\/44433599822\" target=\"_blank\">lumoslouis<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/soloontherocks.tumblr.com\/post\/41856468924\" target=\"_blank\">soloontherocks<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/amour-vengeance.tumblr.com\/post\/38298266977\" target=\"_blank\">amour-vengeance<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/later-homenuggets.tumblr.com\/post\/36789247030\" target=\"_blank\">later-homenuggets<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this<\/p>\n<p>look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit<\/p>\n<p>motherfucking australia<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>if there was a post to describe australia, this is it<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>wait.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>you mean to tell me this isn\u2019t even a pet bird?<\/p>\n<p>that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?<\/p>\n<p>fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>wake up australia\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>That\u2019s what birds do<\/p>\n<p>They fly around and fuck shit up<\/p>\n<p>Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country<\/p>\n<p>Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>It\u2019s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they\u2019re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called \u201cswooping season\u201d and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it\u2019s fucking brutal.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>no but when you\u2019re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off\u00a0<em>and none of this is considered strange<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><em>what the actual fuck australia\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Nope.<\/p>\n<p>Went there.<\/p>\n<p>Parrots tried to take our car.<\/p>\n<p>Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Interesting thing about magpies &#8211; they\u2019re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they\u2019re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard &#8211; as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like<i> sorry ma\u2019am I had no idea it was you I would never please don\u2019t\u00a0stop stocking the food pile.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies &#8211; carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc &#8211; and emitting an identifiable call of\u00a0\u2018hello birdie\u2019 before swooping season started.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said\u00a0\u2018hello birdie\u2019 to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>They did lose the Emu War, after all.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Look.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve read a lot of <a class=\"tumblelog\" href=\"https:\/\/tmblr.co\/mtymuxxSsYtU_V6kgypiUQA\" target=\"_blank\">@seananmcguire<\/a>\u2018s stories, both her novels and the things she\u2019s done in real life. She\u2019s got a pretty delightful attitude of open curiosity when it comes to a lot of weird and possibly dangerous things in nature that would put off many.<\/p>\n<p>If birds in Australia drove <i>her<\/i>\u00a0back to the relative safety of North America? That\u2019s scary.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not high enough level to deal with Australia, I think.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>In New Zealand we have parrots that will rip the rubber door seals, windscreen wipers and hubcaps off your car.\u00a0 Our nature is generally a lot less rip-roaring insane than Australian nature but we do have that.<\/p>\n<p>Evidence: <a href=\"http:\/\/digg.com\/video\/new-zealand-kea-parrot-car\" target=\"_blank\">Douchebag Parrot Decides To Destroy A Man\u2019s Rental Car<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>airyairyquitecontrary: nudityandnerdery: zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandmas: millshouse: meganiun: happyvegetable: kennilworthy-thisp: derinthemadscientist: lumoslouis: soloontherocks: amour-vengeance: later-homenuggets: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2018\/12\/03\/airyairyquitecontrary-nudityandnerdery\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[26149,15218,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276144"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=276144"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276144\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":276146,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276144\/revisions\/276146"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=276144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=276144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=276144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}