{"id":268650,"date":"2013-07-12T18:23:47","date_gmt":"2013-07-12T18:23:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/07\/12\/endquestionmark-the-little-shake-of-his-head\/"},"modified":"2013-07-12T18:23:47","modified_gmt":"2013-07-12T18:23:47","slug":"endquestionmark-the-little-shake-of-his-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/07\/12\/endquestionmark-the-little-shake-of-his-head\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

endquestionmark<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

#the little shake of his head in the second gif<\/a>\u00a0#the soft little \u2018no\u2019<\/a>\u00a0#no\u2014 don\u2019t ask me that<\/a>#please don\u2019t ask me how not to feel<\/a>\u00a0#because jim is feeling and jim is visceral and jim is emotion<\/a>\u00a0#jim is unbridled fear and anguish and happiness and power<\/a>\u00a0#jim is a full spectrum of every emotion that spock has pushed aside<\/a>\u00a0#and no<\/a>\u00a0#please don\u2019t ask me how not to feel jim<\/a>\u00a0#because he doesn\u2019t know how not to feel<\/a>\u00a0#because when he said that he pushed aside his fear<\/a>\u00a0#in the volcano when he felt heat for the first time since vulcan<\/a>\u00a0#when he pressed his fingers to pike\u2019s face and understood what maybe his mother felt like in her last moments<\/a>\u00a0#he wasn\u2019t feeling nothing<\/a>\u00a0#he was feeling too much<\/a>\u00a0#and the only way he could cope with that is to hollow himself out<\/a>\u00a0#carve out the feeling from his veins and make himself hollow<\/a>\u00a0#because he\u2019s been taught that is honourable<\/a>\u00a0#(and jim has always been able to do the opposite)<\/a>\u00a0#(fill himself up with so much emotion that he bursts at the seams with light)<\/a>\u00a0#(and it\u2019s spectral and unreal and intangible to someone who thrives off of touch)<\/a>#so in this moment\u2014 no<\/a>\u00a0#i don\u2019t want to hear you tell me you don\u2019t want to feel<\/a>\u00a0#please don\u2019t be like me<\/a>\u00a0#you don\u2019t want to be like me<\/a>\u00a0#i don\u2019t want to be like me<\/a>\u00a0#and i\u2019d take it all away from you if i could<\/a>\u00a0#i\u2019d feel a thousand vulcans freezing if you wouldn\u2019t beg me that again<\/a>\u00a0#please don\u2019t ask me what it\u2019s like not to feel<\/a>\u00a0#right now i am failing.<\/a>\u00a0(tags via zacharyq)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

endquestionmark: #the little shake of his head in the second gif\u00a0#the soft little \u2018no\u2019\u00a0#no\u2014 don\u2019t ask me that#please don\u2019t ask me how not to feel\u00a0#because jim is feeling and jim is visceral and jim is emotion\u00a0#jim is unbridled fear and anguish and happiness and power\u00a0#jim is a full spectrum of every emotion that spock has … <\/p>\n

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