{"id":263947,"date":"2013-08-08T02:14:58","date_gmt":"2013-08-08T02:14:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/08\/08\/equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters\/"},"modified":"2018-10-11T12:15:48","modified_gmt":"2018-10-11T12:15:48","slug":"equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/08\/08\/equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-263947 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/08\/08\/equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters\/attachment\/263948\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo1_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo1_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo1_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/08\/08\/equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters\/attachment\/263949\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo2_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo2_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo2_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/08\/08\/equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters\/attachment\/263950\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo3_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo3_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo3_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/08\/08\/equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters\/attachment\/263951\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo4_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo4_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo4_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/08\/08\/equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters\/attachment\/263952\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo5_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo5_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/tumblr_mqvefeoEsR1qld4zeo5_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/equiano-lockwood.tumblr.com\/post\/57629481122\/journal-of-a-man-of-letters-sam-winchesters\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">equiano-lockwood<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/journal-of-a-man-of-letters.tumblr.com\/post\/57092891157\/sam-winchesters-journal-entry-16-h-minus-one\" target=\"_blank\">journal-of-a-man-of-letters<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><em><strong>Sam Winchester\u2019s Journal \u2013 Entry #16<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>H-minus one<\/p>\n<p>This is it.<\/p>\n<p>We are at the meeting point and Crowley should make an overly dramatic King-of-Hell appearance at any minute now. I think his \u201cstage entrances\u201d have always been his favorite part of the little game he\u2019s been playing with us over the years. This reminds me somehow of those has-been magicians who vanish and reappear suddenly at the back of the audience, then everyone pities them enough to cheer and applaud as if they never saw the trick on television one hundred times before. I\u2019m sure Crowley would have made it big in Vegas, too bad for us he didn\u2019t choose that career path.<\/p>\n<p>According to Dean, our plan was absolutely flawless and there was nothing to worry about. It was like going fishing except that <em>\u201cthe fish has a Scottish accent and wears $1500 tailor-made suits\u201d<\/em>. All we had to do was use the Tablet as a lure, act natural not to arouse Crowley\u2019s suspicions, catch him with the handcuffs and\u2026voil\u00e0! <\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIt\u2019s big-game fishing, Sammy. Everything is in the wrist!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Dean tries to act detached but I can guess how nervous he is just by the way the right corner of his mouth twitches slightly when he speaks and how he fiddles with the handcuffs. I\u2019m gonna pretend I didn\u2019t notice, of course, and he\u2019s gonna pretend I\u2019m buying his fake optimism and the promise we\u2019ll all be home right on time for an afternoon beer. <\/p>\n<p>\u00a0I don\u2019t have high hopes, to be quite honest. For the first time, I don\u2019t only have visions of my own death but also the death of my brother. I couldn\u2019t care less if these Trials were only about me but Dean\u2026 he doesn\u2019t deserve any of this after everything he went through. I want to see him smile again, being happy and reckless like\u2026like in the childhood memories that have kept haunting me for weeks now. If I don\u2019t fail, maybe he\u2019ll have all that again. The gates of Hell will be closed for good and he won\u2019t have to deal with all this demon crap, not to mention I won\u2019t be an unnecessary burden he\u2019ll have to carry around everywhere he goes anymore.<\/p>\n<p>And then, what?<\/p>\n<p>In a perfect world, Dean would accept my death like any person who loses a member of their family; he\u2019d grieve for me for a while then carry on with his life. He\u2019d maybe hunt again for a couple of years before finally settling down in a small town far away from everything because this job cost him enough. His father. His brother. His friends. It\u2019s more than anyone could stand. <\/p>\n<p>But we don\u2019t live in a perfect world. <\/p>\n<p>I know Dean far too well. He\u2019ll carry on hunting until his body gives or a fucking monster faster and smarter than the rest kills him on a hunt; and if it\u2019s not a monster, a vampire, or a ghost it\u2019ll be an angel gone rogue. The only question I can\u2019t answer at the moment is whether my brother will try to bring me back from the dead or, like I wish to, finally let me rest in peace and turn my body into ashes.\u00a0 The first option would be the kind of completely silly thing a Winchester would do of course, but on the other hand, after the way I acted while he was in Purgatory, I wouldn\u2019t blame Dean if he didn\u2019t lift a finger and left me in whatever place I\u2019m headed for.<\/p>\n<p>I can\u2019t care less about what\u2019s going to happen to me. The only thing I wish for is Dean to be safe again but all I can see around me now are death omens that keep on reminding me what Fate has in store for both of us.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>That was one of the most emotional transformation pictures of Dean that I have ever seen.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>equiano-lockwood: journal-of-a-man-of-letters: Sam Winchester\u2019s Journal \u2013 Entry #16 H-minus one This is it. We are at the meeting point and Crowley should make an overly dramatic King-of-Hell appearance at any minute now. I think his \u201cstage entrances\u201d have always been his favorite part of the little game he\u2019s been playing with us over the years. &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/08\/08\/equiano-lockwood-journal-of-a-man-of-letters\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[16283,10923,1081],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263947"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=263947"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263947\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":263953,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263947\/revisions\/263953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=263947"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=263947"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=263947"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}