{"id":253219,"date":"2013-10-03T23:42:06","date_gmt":"2013-10-03T23:42:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/10\/03\/christyimnotred-backtoschool4atlin-batten\/"},"modified":"2018-10-05T21:57:19","modified_gmt":"2018-10-05T21:57:19","slug":"christyimnotred-backtoschool4atlin-batten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/10\/03\/christyimnotred-backtoschool4atlin-batten\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-253219 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/10\/03\/christyimnotred-backtoschool4atlin-batten\/attachment\/253220\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/tumblr_mts3vwAkDQ1sjeh8wo2_r1_500-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/tumblr_mts3vwAkDQ1sjeh8wo2_r1_500-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/tumblr_mts3vwAkDQ1sjeh8wo2_r1_500-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/christyimnotred.tumblr.com\/post\/62833981848\/backtoschool4atlin-batten-down-the-hatches\" target=\"_blank\">christyimnotred<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/backtoschool4atlin.tumblr.com\/post\/62812216756\/batten-down-the-hatches-theres-going-to-be-a\" target=\"_blank\">backtoschool4atlin<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Batten down the hatches, there\u2019s going to be a boat load of happy swearing in this one.<\/p>\n<p>First, this move to London, to a new life, hasn\u2019t been easy. Few big changes are. But even though altering your entire life is difficult, there are signposts on the way that tell you you\u2019re doing the right thing.<\/p>\n<p>Passing through customs was one for me. Coming into the UK before now I\u2019ve always been quizzed: \u201cWhere will you work, breathe, bathe? Are you going to take our men, our ponies, our health care? Do you have eight people willing to empty their bank account in an effort to keep you solvent? What is the name of that ginger hair colour you use?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This time though? This time it was <em>easy.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The customs agent and I talked about writing. He told me about his workmate who may have a script optioned. He discussed his daydream of a TV series based off his days as a police constable. He asked the name of my school and if I thought he could study there (he was about my age: 40-something).<\/p>\n<p>So that was one signpost.<\/p>\n<p>Another was, after initial panic, finding a flat through a friend, a flat that\u2019s lovely, calm, clean. <em>Affordable.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Then there were wee ones like the free espresso a barista in <em>the busiest cafe in London<\/em> gave me (never happened before and I still don\u2019t know why she did), the man who said it just seemed as if I come from here, and the unbelievable amount of well-wishes, bolstering pep talks, and love I\u2019ve received from the wonderful people who read my stories.<\/p>\n<p>But there\u2019s one signpost I love most and this is where the swearing comes in.<\/p>\n<p>I met two of my tutors this week in their respective offices. Before our face-to-face I had met each of them once, in June, <em>on the phone.<\/em> They interviewed me to see if I\u2019d be a good fit for the college. Three months later and without any other contact between us from June and September, I walk into both of their offices and each says, \u201cOh, I remember you. I was very curious about you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But wait, there\u2019s more.<\/p>\n<p>The director of the film and media programme in which I\u2019m enrolled, the widely-published <em>doctor<\/em> who has been teaching for years, he said these words:<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;Your enthusiasm just came off the page. I don\u2019t think we\u2019ve ever received a more enthusiastic application and when I read it I told my colleagues \u2018We have to interview this woman.\u2019&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>Sure, it\u2019s not a BAFTA, it\u2019s not a sparkling gay unicorn, but here is what those words are:<\/p>\n<p>Validation.<\/p>\n<p>A signpost.<\/p>\n<p>A god damn glittery <em>lesson.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Be who the mother fucking hell you are.<\/em> I\u2019m boisterous, passionate, eager. I\u2019m <em>me.<\/em> And I put me, me, me into my application for this school and <em>it damn well paid off.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Forget formality. Forget telling prospective employers or tutors or friends things they already know \u2014 the wonders of their company, their school, their shoes.<\/p>\n<p>Tell them about your passion, your glee, your hope for what the two of you <em>together<\/em>\u00a0can be. Be joyous, be enthusiastic, be <em>you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>God damn it it\u2019s all you can be so you might as well do it with such fervour people will take a quick, deep breath, grin and say softly, \u201cThat was amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We find our places, our Johns, our Sherlocks, our <em>lives<\/em> by trying. Trying and failing, and failing, and failing. But I promise you that if we keep trying, eventually we succeed.<\/p>\n<p>Keep trying.<\/p>\n<p>Dreaming.<\/p>\n<p>Being <em>you.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>43 years old and I\u2019m still working on this.\u00a0 This brought tears to my eyes.\u00a0 Most of the time I feel stuck in a life that has defined me, instead of me defining myself.\u00a0 What I wouldn\u2019t give for someone to say \u201cThat was amazing\u201d to me.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>christyimnotred: backtoschool4atlin: Batten down the hatches, there\u2019s going to be a boat load of happy swearing in this one. First, this move to London, to a new life, hasn\u2019t been easy. Few big changes are. But even though altering your entire life is difficult, there are signposts on the way that tell you you\u2019re doing &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2013\/10\/03\/christyimnotred-backtoschool4atlin-batten\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[353,312,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253219"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=253219"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253219\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":253221,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253219\/revisions\/253221"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=253219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=253219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=253219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}