{"id":232617,"date":"2014-01-14T06:12:54","date_gmt":"2014-01-14T06:12:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2014\/01\/14\/the-first-thing-i-did-last-night-was-start-a\/"},"modified":"2014-01-14T06:12:54","modified_gmt":"2014-01-14T06:12:54","slug":"the-first-thing-i-did-last-night-was-start-a","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2014\/01\/14\/the-first-thing-i-did-last-night-was-start-a\/","title":{"rendered":"The first thing I did last night was start a fanfic where the last five minutes didn’t happen and John went to rescue Sherlock from Eastern Europe…"},"content":{"rendered":"

annejamison<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

points if he finds Sherlock in retail panic, completely immobilized by the vast array of athletic shoes now available on Wenceslas Square: \u201cI was meant to meet an orientalized Romany informant who would sell me opium and state secrets! BUT ALL I FOUND WERE TRAINERS!\u201d<\/p>\n

But all is well. John Watson smashes through the elegant pastry counter on the other side of the shoe store, gun aimed with precision at the cowering if well-coiffed salesperson. In a loving yet manly way, he ushers his traumatized friend from the scene. John\u2019s face trembles as he meets Sherlock\u2019s glazed eyes, his medical training noting with compassion the combined effects of severe opiate and crime scene withdrawal. \u201cSherlock. Shooting to kill is one thing. But \u00a0I will not rest until the people who sent you to a pedestrian shopping zone are made to suffer.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sherlock gazes up, his eyes filled with unshed tears. There was a reason he prized this man above all others. But he isn\u2019t good enough. \u201cJohn,\u201d he said, \u201cSherlock isn\u2019t really a girl\u2019s name. I can\u2019t give you what you need.\u201d<\/p>\n

John sighed. \u201cI can\u2019t give you everything you need, either. You\u2019re jonesing, and I\u2019m too morally upright to buy you drugs or discuss treatment options other than cold turkey, which is the manly way although it rarely works. But Sherlock\u2014we can compromise! I knocked over a pastry counter to get to you, and because this is Eastern Europe, it was full of poppyseed cakes! Hundreds of them. And I stole them. For you. See? you aren\u2019t the only one willing to compromise his ethics for a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

John fills Sherlock\u2019s shaking hands with sticky cakes and buns. Then he coats his fingers with the sugary black paste and shoves them into his friend\u2019s open, eager mouth. Sherlock moans with pleasure, then whines at the loss. \u201cSherlock. We couldn\u2019t give our daughter an nontraditionally gendered name. But we did the next best thing. We named her after your addiction. And when she\u2019s falls into bad habits, we just repeatedly slap little Poppy in the face.\u201d He smiles. \u201cAnd Mary\u2019s going back to her career soon, so there will be plenty of crime scenes. Come home. We know how to take care of you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

“John,” said Sherlock, \u00a0"I can\u2019t think of one thing to say.“<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

well THIS is far better then what I was going to write. lol.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

annejamison: points if he finds Sherlock in retail panic, completely immobilized by the vast array of athletic shoes now available on Wenceslas Square: \u201cI was meant to meet an orientalized Romany informant who would sell me opium and state secrets! BUT ALL I FOUND WERE TRAINERS!\u201d But all is well. John Watson smashes through the … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “The first thing I did last night was start a fanfic where the last five minutes didn’t happen and John went to rescue Sherlock from Eastern Europe…”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[1624,21805],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/232617"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=232617"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/232617\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=232617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=232617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=232617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}