{"id":228421,"date":"2014-02-08T22:52:08","date_gmt":"2014-02-08T22:52:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2014\/02\/08\/hi-bee-how-much-do-you-think-john-suspects-of\/"},"modified":"2014-02-08T22:52:08","modified_gmt":"2014-02-08T22:52:08","slug":"hi-bee-how-much-do-you-think-john-suspects-of","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2014\/02\/08\/hi-bee-how-much-do-you-think-john-suspects-of\/","title":{"rendered":"Hi Bee! How much do you think John suspects of Sherlock’s feelings for him? His face when he sees the footage of Sherlock dragging him out of the fire- did he get an inkling right then and there? What does he think at the end of HLV? Thank you for you input! #tjlc #<3"},"content":{"rendered":"

221beemine<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

So I started typing this as a normal post and then I realized it was way more fun to do it as a ramble through John\u2019s thoughts a la LSIT. It is soooo much fun.<\/p>\n

I think seeing the fire footage was the final piece of the puzzle for John. He suspects more and more heavily throughout the best man speech. To backtrack, when he asks Sherlock to be his best man at the beginning of TSOT, he thinks Sherlock already thinks of him as a friend because he says \u201cof course\u201d when Sherlock asks to confirm that John thinks of him as a best friend. You don\u2019t say someone is your best friend without thinking that they think of you also as a friend, generally their best friend too. He is startled (\u201cgetting a bit scary now\u2019) when Sherlock shows that he didn\u2019t know that (through not speaking). \u201cWait, didn\u2019t you know you were my best friend? Aren\u2019t I your best friend? Aren\u2019t we mates? I thought we were at least mates. I mean, not more than mates, course not, I\u2019m getting married, of course it\u2019s to a woman no matter what Mrs. Hudson thinks. You idiot, how plain do I have to make this? Yes, best friend, best man, whatever. Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n

So after that scene, John knows for sure that Sherlock thinks of him as a friend, best friend even (best friendship is usually reciprocal). The best man speech enlightens John that Sherlock\u2019s best friendliness runs deeper than he thought, given that when he tried on the bench to tell Sherlock about his strength of feeling, Sherlock up and leaves, which to John means Sherlock doesn\u2019t care, though we know that\u2019s not true. \u201cCan I please tell you your friendship has meant a lot to me? Oh, you just walked away while I was talking. Thanks, you massive dickhead. Mary gets me so much better.\u201d<\/p>\n

John is so moved by the speech that he hugs him. \u201cOh, Sherlock likes me after all. A lot. Wow, a lot! Hooray! Life is great! Everything I ever wanted! Sherlock isn\u2019t a cold unfeeling robot and I get to have sex with someone for the rest of my life! Good enough!\u201d<\/p>\n

Then at the end of TSOT, with that shatteringly clear expression Sherlock gives John, when John swallows and turns away, I think that is the first time John realizes Sherlock\u2019s feelings are actually romantic. \u201cOh shit, what has just happened, does he like me<\/em> like me, he didn\u2019t respond when I groped him on the stag night, I thought that meant\u2014but I just got married, and I love this woman, and Sherlock likes her too, and she likes Sherlock, and for once everyone likes everyone, and Mary is pregnant, but why does Sherlock look so sad, I better express my repressed feelings through interpretive dance, run away run away\u2026<\/em>“\u00a0<\/p>\n

In between TSOT and the beginning of HLV he avoids Sherlock entirely. \u201cFuck. Can\u2019t even go near him. Better dream about him instead in a way implying that losing what we had is equivalent to the horror of war while throwing off the strangling hand of my loving wife\u2014no, that\u2019s unfair, she loves me, I love her, right? RIGHT. Better eat my feelings and then ride out my feelings on a bicycle to even come near to and yet fail to reach the level of endorphins I used to get hanging around that guy and then I need to stomp around and snap at people and maybe punch them while I\u2019m at it. NO, you can\u2019t come on my violence spree, Mary, you wouldn\u2019t understand. Oh wait, of course you care about my safety. Course you do. Sorry, that was unfair of me, I\u2019m just used to dickheads drugging me and faking their death and stuff. Yes, you can come. I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n

"Sherlock is back on drugs? Why would he\u2026? I don\u2019t understand. Has he been on drugs all this time? I can\u2019t trust him at all. Oh, for a case? Everything is always for a case\u2026fine. No news there. WHERE"S MY CHAIR. Why would he remove my favorite chair! Dick. Better threaten his brother to show I\u2019m on his side. Maybe he\u2019ll put my chair back.”<\/p>\n

“Wtf half-naked woman wtffffff. WHO MOVED THE KETTLE THE KETTLE IS SACRED WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU. The only one who really knows him\u2014no that\u2019s ME lady, ME. I\u2019M the only one who\u2014Sherlock agrees with her?!? Bullshit, this must be for a case\u2014but Sherlock is putting on a very thorough act. Is it an act? Of course it\u2019s an act. Oh wow, no, no, they\u2019re totally snogging. I\u2019ve never seen him do that with anyone, not even Irene. ASJCKKDHE. Wtf. My face cannot hold all my feels. I\u2019m going to stomp around the room. Dinner? I\u2019ll give you dinner. Thoroughly. In your pants. NO! I mean. Can\u2019t we go shoot someone like we used to? Please. Petty trespassing? That\u2019ll do.”<\/p>\n

“You\u2019re proposing to this poor girl for\u2014wtf is wrong<\/em> with you? Wtf is wrong with me<\/em> for liking you?\u201d<\/p>\n

"HUMAN ERROR? HUMAN FUCKING ERROR? Are all of your feelings human error? Did you even mean what you said in the speech? I can\u2019t. Just.”<\/p>\n

“Shit, he got shot. I didn\u2019t want that to happen. No matter how much of a dick he is. Mary? Why is my wife\u2019s name on your lips? Better not think about that. He ran away? From the hospital? Why\u2014who does that? Must be in danger. Boltholes? How did I not know about these boltholes? Maybe Janine was right after all, I don\u2019t know him after all, this is depressing. Thank God I\u2019ve still got my loving wife who\u2014Fuck. Fuck this shit.”<\/p>\n

“And now this is my fault. For having an addiction. You shit. You massive shit. And she agrees. Perfect. I thought I\u2019d found a nice normal woman, but it turns out I\u2019m a total masochist and my type is sociopaths who lie to me. Fantastic. Don\u2019t die though. Not again.”<\/p>\n

[period of time when Sherlock is in hospital] \u201cCan\u2019t trust Sherlock. Can\u2019t trust Mary. Life is just so great. Well. I know Mary loves me. She\u2019s not who I thought she was, and she\u2019s really fucking scary, but she still loves me, and while I feel utterly betrayed in every way, we\u2019re having a child together. Maybe it\u2019s not that bad that she lied. Maybe. People do silly things. I lied about my height on my driver\u2019s license, after all. Sherlock lied about being dead. We all lie. Sherlock is totally unreliable as a human being anyway and I\u2019ll never understand him. He seems to think Mary and I belong together. Frankly I think he and Mary make a better match because they\u2019re both lying liars who lie and I\u2019m going to say that really passive-aggressively. Oh well, Sherlock\u2019s usually right about things. And. Baby. Okay. I give up. Mary, let\u2019s give it another shot.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Holy fuck Sherlock just drugged his whole family and my pregnant wife and what a messed-up dick he is and how did you know I brought my gun fine let\u2019s go shoot things thank God this Christmas was getting a bit too touchy feely anyway. I could stay with my pregnant wife and make sure she\u2019s okay, but I won\u2019t, because I\u2019d rather hang out with this nutso and avoid my feelings like the fact that I\u2019m never actually going to trust Mary again even though I said I would and I\u2019m trying really hard to move past her massive deception even though it\u2019s a lot to ask of me. Sherlock may be a dick but I know where I stand with him.”<\/p>\n

“Oh God Sherlock ran straight into a fire to save me I mean I know he did but he just looks so upset here and I thought he was faking all that friendship stuff he said human error after all whose error so many errors all the errors I don\u2019t understand I don\u2019t know what\u2019s real anymore I don\u2019t understand anyone and Magnussen seems to think Sherlock thinks of me as a damsel in distress I\u2019m fucking not but Sherlock\u2019s not arguing oh fuck you mean I\u2019m so important to Sherlock he\u2019d betray his brother to protect my marriage what just what does everyone<\/em> think we\u2019re in love it\u2019s beginning to get hard to argue\u2026but\u2026really? Why\u2019d he want me to get back with Mary then? I don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

"Flick me in the face? I\u2019ve been through worse in the past three years, you moist fucking beanpole. If I can survive Sherlock and Mary, I can survive this. Afghanistan doesn\u2019t even come close. Can\u2019t do anything about it anyway, it\u2019s not like someone\u2019s just going to put a bullet in your brain or\u2014”<\/p>\n

“FUCK.”<\/p>\n

“That. Thing you did. That was. Um. Good.”<\/p>\n

“And now you\u2019re leaving? Again? I\u2026don\u2019t go. I guess you have to. You\u2019ve got your life after all, and it\u2019s better than jail, and I\u2019ve got my pregnant wife, but\u2026Don\u2019t go. This isn\u2019t happening. Six months, and then you\u2019ll be back, right? I can live with\u2026Oh. You don\u2019t really seem to believe that either. Don\u2019tthinkaboutitdon\u2019tthinkaboutitdon\u2019t\u2014Wait\u2026what are you about to say? Is this it? Are you actually going to tell me\u2014oh, fuck you, you tosser. Should have known. No, I\u2019m not going to name my child after the man who broke my heart in a thousand ways because every time I say her name it\u2019ll break my heart again, do I look insane<\/em>? Don\u2019t answer that, there is nothing the matter with me. Don\u2019t go. Just don\u2019t\u2026oh fuck, no more time. Should we, um, hug? Hand shake? After everything<\/em>? Well\u2026that\u2019s more British. And manly. We\u2019re men. We\u2019re British men who repress our emotions. Yes. I\u2019m comfortable with that. Here\u2019s my hand. This is it. The last time I\u2019ll ever see you, touch you, talk to you. Hold it together. Okay. Mary\u2019s here for me. She\u2019s scary, but she\u2019s here for me. Goodbye. Fuck.\u201d<\/p>\n

"OHMYGOD HE\u2019S COMING BACK THANK YOU MORIARTY YOU BEAUTIFUL PSYCHOPATH!!!”<\/p>\n

(\u201cWait, why is Mary so upset? WHO CARES SHERLOCK IS COMING BACK YAY\u201d)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

221beemine: So I started typing this as a normal post and then I realized it was way more fun to do it as a ramble through John\u2019s thoughts a la LSIT. It is soooo much fun. I think seeing the fire footage was the final piece of the puzzle for John. He suspects more and … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Hi Bee! How much do you think John suspects of Sherlock’s feelings for him? His face when he sees the footage of Sherlock dragging him out of the fire- did he get an inkling right then and there? What does he think at the end of HLV? Thank you for you input! #tjlc #<3”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[16,5326,15,1810,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228421"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=228421"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228421\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=228421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=228421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=228421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}