{"id":187236,"date":"2014-10-10T09:10:49","date_gmt":"2014-10-10T09:10:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2014\/10\/10\/socimages-the-paradox-of-sexual-orientation-and\/"},"modified":"2018-09-14T19:09:37","modified_gmt":"2018-09-14T19:09:37","slug":"socimages-the-paradox-of-sexual-orientation-and","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2014\/10\/10\/socimages-the-paradox-of-sexual-orientation-and\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-187236 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2014\/10\/10\/socimages-the-paradox-of-sexual-orientation-and\/attachment\/187237\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/tumblr_nchhqgEPp41smixzao3_1280-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/tumblr_nchhqgEPp41smixzao3_1280-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/tumblr_nchhqgEPp41smixzao3_1280-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/socimages.tumblr.com\/post\/99614808954\/the-paradox-of-sexual-orientation-and-visibility\" class=\"tumblr_blog\" target=\"_blank\">socimages<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><strong>The paradox of sexual orientation and visibility. Or why do so many parents fail to notice their kids\u2019 same sex desires? <\/strong> <\/p>\n<p><em>By Lisa Wade, PhD<\/em><\/p>\n<p>In 2009, Benoit Denizet-Lewis wrote in the\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2009\/09\/27\/magazine\/27out-t.html?pagewanted=1&amp;partner=rss&amp;emc=rss\" target=\"_blank\"><em>New York Times<\/em><\/a>\u00a0that youth were coming out as gay, bisexual, and lesbian at increasingly early ages. Coming out in middle school, though, often prompted\u00a0parents to\u00a0ask the classic question: \u201cBut how do you know you\u2019re gay?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The equally classic response to this question is, \u201cWell, how do you know you\u2019re not?\u201d The response is meant to bring questioners\u2019 attention to the\u00a0invisible norm: heterosexuality. It\u2019s a sexual orientation, too, and if a person\u00a0must somehow determine that they are gay, then the same must be true of heterosexuality.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, most heterosexuals simply respond: \u201cI always knew.\u201d At which point the gay or bisexual person just nods smugly. It\u2019s very effective.<\/p>\n<p>In any case, I was reminded of this when I came across a\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/rachelzarrell\/check-the-browser-history\" target=\"_blank\">Buzzfeed<\/a>\u00a0collection of \u201cpainfully funny secrets\u201d children think they\u2019re hiding from their parents. A few of them were romantic or sexual secrets kept by four-, five- and six-year-olds.<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"shutterset_64064\" href=\"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/files\/2014\/09\/4.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"4\" class=\"lazy aligncenter size-medium wp-image-64067\" height=\"295\" src=\"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/files\/2014\/09\/4-500x295.jpg\" width=\"500\" \/><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"2\" class=\"lazy aligncenter size-medium wp-image-64065\" height=\"332\" src=\"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/files\/2014\/09\/22-500x332.jpg\" width=\"500\" \/><\/a>\u00a0<a class=\"shutterset_64064\" href=\"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/files\/2014\/09\/23.png\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"2\" class=\"lazy aligncenter size-medium wp-image-64066\" height=\"337\" src=\"http:\/\/thesocietypages.org\/socimages\/files\/2014\/09\/23-500x337.png\" width=\"500\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not saying that any of these secrets actually mean anything about these children\u2019s sexual orientation, but they might. The first crush I can remember was\u00a0in 2nd grade. His name was Brian and we cleaned up the teacher\u2019s classroom after school in exchange for stickers. I never looked directly at him, nor him at me, but he was\u00a0<em>soooooo cuuuuuuuute<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, it\u2019s interesting to me that parents have a difficult time believing that their children might have a pretty good idea who they like. The signs of their sexual and romantic interests start early. Then again, if parents are looking for signs that their children develop crushes on\u00a0the other\u00a0sex, it\u2019s likely easier for them to see. The invisibility of heterosexuality as a sexual orientation can make it, paradoxically, impossible to miss. While the non-normativeness of homo- and bisexuality can make these orientations invisible.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lisa Wade is a professor of sociology at\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/lisa-wade.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Occidental College<\/a>\u00a0and the co-author of\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/books.wwnorton.com\/books\/detail.aspx?ID=4294986320\" target=\"_blank\">Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions<\/a>. You can follow her on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/lisawade\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lisawadephd\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>socimages: The paradox of sexual orientation and visibility. Or why do so many parents fail to notice their kids\u2019 same sex desires? By Lisa Wade, PhD In 2009, Benoit Denizet-Lewis wrote in the\u00a0New York Times\u00a0that youth were coming out as gay, bisexual, and lesbian at increasingly early ages. Coming out in middle school, though, often &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2014\/10\/10\/socimages-the-paradox-of-sexual-orientation-and\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[20198,20196,20197,1656,4699,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/187236"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=187236"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/187236\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":187238,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/187236\/revisions\/187238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=187236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=187236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=187236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}