{"id":173979,"date":"2015-01-03T08:35:43","date_gmt":"2015-01-03T08:35:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/01\/03\/wintersoldierfell-americandreambarbie\/"},"modified":"2018-09-11T22:01:52","modified_gmt":"2018-09-11T22:01:52","slug":"wintersoldierfell-americandreambarbie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/01\/03\/wintersoldierfell-americandreambarbie\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-173979 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/01\/03\/wintersoldierfell-americandreambarbie\/attachment\/173980\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo1_250-150x150.gif\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo1_250-150x150.gif 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo1_250-100x100.gif 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/01\/03\/wintersoldierfell-americandreambarbie\/attachment\/173981\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo2_250-150x150.gif\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo2_250-150x150.gif 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo2_250-100x100.gif 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/01\/03\/wintersoldierfell-americandreambarbie\/attachment\/173982\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo3_250-150x150.gif\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo3_250-150x150.gif 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo3_250-100x100.gif 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/01\/03\/wintersoldierfell-americandreambarbie\/attachment\/173983\/'><img width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo4_250-150x150.gif\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo4_250-150x150.gif 150w, https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tumblr_muizvfb1Qo1qah4geo4_250-100x100.gif 100w\" sizes=\"100vw\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/wintersoldierfell.tumblr.com\/post\/105934686821\/americandreambarbie-hands-down-one-of-my-all\" target=\"_blank\">wintersoldierfell<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><a class=\"tumblr_blog\" href=\"http:\/\/americandreambarbie.tumblr.com\/post\/105138528887\/hands-down-one-of-my-all-time-favorite-taylor\" target=\"_blank\">americandreambarbie<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>hands-down one of my all time favorite taylor moments<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>What fucks me up about this is that he\u2019s using a classic abusive behaviour on her.<\/p>\n<p>He starts out by doing something that seems innocent but which is often a tactic used by abusive men to get past women\u2019s defenses and justify their own behaviour. \u201cI\u2019m a\u00a0<em>nice<\/em> guy. I\u2019m not mean. I wouldn\u2019t do anything bad.\u201d And without being specific to this guy, TSwift calls him on it: she points out that there\u2019s a very high correlation between self-labeling as a \u201cnice guy\u201d and not actually being very nice. It\u2019s as polite as she can be without actually saying explicitly that this guy\u2019s a jerk, but everyone listening knows that she\u2019s basically just said, \u201cHey, you just did this thing that\u2019s shitty.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And his response is\u00a0<em>to try to gaslight her<\/em>. Gaslighting is when you try to manipulate someone by making them doubt their perception of reality. It sounds like it would be impossible, but it\u2019s actually\u00a0<em>incredibly<\/em> common among abusive men, and often appears hand in hand with this creepy \u201cI\u2019m nice\u201d crap. What he does is, rather than argue with her about whether most guys who self-label as nice are actually jerks, or move on to another topic, or shout her down\u2014-what he does is DENY REALITY. Guys who self-label as nice aren\u2019t nice? Cool\u2014he\u2019ll just assert that he never did that. Despite the fact that he JUST DID IT. <em>ON CAMERA.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>People who date men: if a man ever does this to you,\u00a0<em>run like hell<\/em>. It\u2019s the beginning of a very steep slope. Men who lie to you about behaviour you\u2019ve observed\u2014who lie to you about\u00a0<em>documented reality<\/em>\u2014in order to serve their own ends are not men you can trust. They are not good people. RUN THE FUCK AWAY.<\/p>\n<p>Meanwhile, a million props to Taylor Swift for calling that shit out.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>wintersoldierfell: americandreambarbie: hands-down one of my all time favorite taylor moments What fucks me up about this is that he\u2019s using a classic abusive behaviour on her. He starts out by doing something that seems innocent but which is often a tactic used by abusive men to get past women\u2019s defenses and justify their own &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/01\/03\/wintersoldierfell-americandreambarbie\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"gallery","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[309,5906,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173979"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=173979"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173979\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":173984,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173979\/revisions\/173984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=173979"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=173979"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=173979"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}