I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now. <\/p>\n
When chemists die, they barium.<\/p>\n
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.<\/p>\n
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.<\/p>\n
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.<\/p>\n
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.<\/p>\n
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.<\/p>\n
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.<\/p>\n
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.<\/p>\n
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?<\/p>\n
Broken pencils are pointless.<\/p>\n
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.<\/p>\n
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.<\/p>\n
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.<\/p>\n
All the toilets in New York\u2019s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.<\/p>\n
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.<\/p>\n
Haunted French pancakes give me the cr\u00eapes.<\/p>\n
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.<\/p>\n
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government’s fault.<\/p>\n
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This … <\/p>\n