{"id":167287,"date":"2015-02-17T21:17:00","date_gmt":"2015-02-17T21:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/02\/17\/bluandorange-inthebackoftheimpala\/"},"modified":"2015-02-17T21:17:00","modified_gmt":"2015-02-17T21:17:00","slug":"bluandorange-inthebackoftheimpala","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/02\/17\/bluandorange-inthebackoftheimpala\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

bluandorange<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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inthebackoftheimpala<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

cliffnotesofanerd<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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anifanatical<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

deliverusfromsburb<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

I understand that a lot of people enjoy writing shipfics where they transplant characters into a college setting. Since some writers may not be in college, or may have graduated a long time ago, I thought I\u2019d offer a helpful list of realistic college meet not-so-cute scenarios. Forget baristas. This is where it\u2019s at.\u00a0<\/p>\n

– I\u2019m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat<\/p>\n

– vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room<\/p>\n

– my roommate\u2019s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor<\/p>\n

– it\u2019s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we\u2019re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they\u2019d deliver pizza here<\/p>\n

– hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model<\/p>\n

– hey I have to take someone\u2019s blood pressure for class will you be my victim<\/p>\n

– variations of the above<\/p>\n

– I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it\u2019s always your shift but don\u2019t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity<\/p>\n

– all our friends are drunk<\/p>\n

– it\u2019s 3 am and I\u2019m still in the library studying for finals and I\u2019m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost<\/p>\n

– we\u2019re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for<\/p>\n

– humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)<\/p>\n

– we\u2019re the only people who ever talk in discussions it\u2019s awful<\/p>\n

– GROUP PROJECT<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

#both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don\u2019t know where its meant to be<\/a>#waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late<\/a>#you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole<\/a>#we live in halls opposite each other and I keep seeing you changing through your window<\/a>#you\u2019re the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I\u2019m panicking<\/a>\u00a0(little-smartass<\/a>)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

– Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can\u2019t leave the building<\/p>\n

– This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we\u2019re rivals<\/p>\n

– I found your USB drive still in the computer<\/p>\n

– I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria<\/p>\n

– You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows<\/p>\n

– We\u2019re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances<\/p>\n

– We\u2019re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class<\/p>\n

– You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf<\/p>\n

– Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?<\/p>\n

– You\u2019re the RA and you\u2019re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs<\/p>\n

– You\u2019re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I\u2019m angry but also really hungry<\/p>\n

– What are you doing at this table at the career fair<\/p>\n

– Waiting for office hours<\/p>\n

– I\u2019ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today<\/p>\n

– Clearly we\u2019re both really uncomfortable at this party<\/p>\n

– You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.<\/p>\n

– We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can\u2019t stop<\/p>\n

– You\u2019re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I\u2019m on a deadline<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

-my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me<\/p>\n

-we\u2019re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill<\/p>\n

– Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes<\/p>\n

– Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash<\/p>\n

-Your school mailbox is right next to mine<\/p>\n

-I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall<\/p>\n

-My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire<\/p>\n

-You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I\u2019m trying to get ready for class<\/p>\n

-My computer crashed and you\u2019re the student worker at the IT center<\/p>\n

-we\u2019re both on althetic teams that aren\u2019t as cool as the football team and they give us shit<\/p>\n

– You\u2019re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance<\/p>\n

-What do you mean we\u2019re under a tornado warning?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

-its 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled\/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I\u2019m gonna make that fucker pay<\/p>\n

-you\u2019re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking<\/p>\n

-I\u2019m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking<\/p>\n

-my shower isn\u2019t working can I use yours<\/p>\n

-RA mandated floor party<\/p>\n

-I couldn\u2019t help but notice you\u2019re watching a show I like instead of studying in the computer lab<\/p>\n

-dude your headphones are really loud like I can make out most of Kayne\u2019s lyrics and I\u2019m sitting across the fucking room<\/p>\n

-hey the semester\u2019s almost over and I have way too much money on my cafeteria account, do you want anything??? this shit\u2019s just gonna disappear into the college\u2019s pocket otherwise<\/p>\n

-THERE IS A BOUNCY CASTLE IN THE OVAL AND I AM VERY EXCITED<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

bluandorange: inthebackoftheimpala: cliffnotesofanerd: anifanatical: deliverusfromsburb: I understand that a lot of people enjoy writing shipfics where they transplant characters into a college setting. Since some writers may not be in college, or may have graduated a long time ago, I thought I\u2019d offer a helpful list of realistic college meet not-so-cute scenarios. Forget baristas. This … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[2765,18527,4045],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167287"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=167287"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167287\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=167287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=167287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=167287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}