{"id":163335,"date":"2015-03-16T03:25:21","date_gmt":"2015-03-16T03:25:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/03\/16\/ivyblossom-silentauroriamthereal\/"},"modified":"2015-03-16T03:25:21","modified_gmt":"2015-03-16T03:25:21","slug":"ivyblossom-silentauroriamthereal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/03\/16\/ivyblossom-silentauroriamthereal\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

ivyblossom<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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silentauroriamthereal<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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anotherwellkeptsecret<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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ewmartin<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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john squeezes sherlock\u2019s neck<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n

then he squeezes it again, harder<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n

and finally as he moves to sit back down, his hand lingers and drops slowly, still on sherlock\u2019s shoulder<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n

\u2661\u00a0\u2661\u00a0\u2661\u00a0\u2661\u00a0<\/p>\n

x<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Goodbye I\u2019m going to cartwheel into the sun.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I love that this isn\u2019t even additional commentary; it\u2019s literally just describing exactly what happens and all of our hearts are exploding<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

John is not done hugging Sherlock. He\u2019s supposed to be done, and Sherlock\u2019s trying to move on with his speech, and there\u2019s an audience to all this, but John is not done <\/i>and can\u2019t quite take his arm away. He doesn\u2019t want to let go.<\/p>\n

John tells Mary to stop him; he can feel it coming. He knows his desire to hug Sherlock is latent and might, if Sherlock goes far enough in his speech, spill over and he\u2019ll do it, audience be damned, with the ecstatic delight he genuinely feels, and indeed that\u2019s just what happens.<\/p>\n

Neither of them make very much room for each other\u2019s uncontrollable emotional outbursts. They\u2019re like ships in the night that way.<\/p>\n

When John tells Sherlock that he loves him, that Sherlock is his best friend, Sherlock practically loses his bloody mind. John reassures him in a heartfelt way, briefly, and then quickly changes the subject, even through Sherlock is completely and obviously too overcome to proceed. I always wondered why he did that.\u00a0<\/p>\n

John doesn\u2019t appear especially uncomfortable at that point, as he does later after the wedding when Sherlock looks so heartbroken that John will dance with Mary from now on. We see John being uncomfortable with Sherlock\u2019s feelings, and that best man request isn\u2019t one of them. It looks instead as though he\u2019s just misunderstood which feelings Sherlock is having. John instead reacts as if he thinks what\u2019s overwhelmed Sherlock is primarily the necessity of the speech, not the reality of his place in John\u2019s life and his heart. It\u2019s not clear that he entirely understood that that was actually news to Sherlock, which might help explain why he didn\u2019t leave any room for Sherlock have those feelings in the first place. He didn\u2019t believe they were mutual at that point, did he!<\/p>\n

Likewise, Sherlock seems utterly oblivious to John\u2019s desire to hug him during his speech. John is genuinely overcome, so much so that he is willing to ignore the audience and just react with pure delight and affection. And that\u2019s a big deal for someone as buttoned-down as John is. But Sherlock doesn\u2019t react to John at all.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We know the wedding was a very difficult day for Sherlock, and during the speech he reverts to the rather shy and introverted person he sometimes is when he is deeply uncertain and out of his depth. It\u2019s the same version of him we see when John tells him off for getting something wrong, when he listens quietly and does what John tells him to do rather than getting into a spectacular fight. Or when he\u2019s drunk off his face and tries to make a joke. It\u2019s his rawest self, the one that has no automatic defences. And that\u2019s who he is when he\u2019s giving his speech (until his speech becomes something else, naturally). That\u2019s who he is when John hugs him, though it looks as if he can\u2019t accept the hug, or even feel it happening, because he\u2019s trying to do this difficult thing instead. He can\u2019t make room for John\u2019s feelings at that moment, because of the wedding, the speech, the loss he\u2019s experiencing. So it happens, and then they move on, and it\u2019s all unexamined. Until later, perhaps.<\/p>\n

Desperately unspoken, indeed. There is a missing scene in series 3, and you can feel it. Maybe it was in the drunk tank, lost to the comfortable amnesia of alcohol. Maybe it\u2019s at the hospital after Sherlock\u2019s been shot. Or afterwards, when John knows that Mary isn\u2019t what she seems. Maybe it didn\u2019t happen, which would mean it\u2019s still to come. The moment when they look at each other with the real weight of all those feelings and reactions, all understood and acknowledged, interrogated and confirmed, and actually have the space to hold them all.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ivyblossom: silentauroriamthereal: anotherwellkeptsecret: ewmartin: john squeezes sherlock\u2019s neck then he squeezes it again, harder and finally as he moves to sit back down, his hand lingers and drops slowly, still on sherlock\u2019s shoulder \u2661\u00a0\u2661\u00a0\u2661\u00a0\u2661\u00a0 x Goodbye I\u2019m going to cartwheel into the sun. I love that this isn\u2019t even additional commentary; it\u2019s literally just describing … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[129,9665,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163335"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=163335"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/163335\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=163335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=163335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=163335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}