{"id":148808,"date":"2015-06-22T13:08:39","date_gmt":"2015-06-22T13:08:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/06\/22\/resident-longwinded-anon-season-11-starts-the\/"},"modified":"2015-06-22T13:08:39","modified_gmt":"2015-06-22T13:08:39","slug":"resident-longwinded-anon-season-11-starts-the","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/06\/22\/resident-longwinded-anon-season-11-starts-the\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

resident-longwinded-anon<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

Season 11 starts. The Winchesters aren\u2019t in the Impala anymore. Dean looks at Sam. Sam looks at Dean. \u201cWhy aren\u2019t we in the Impala anymore?\u201d they both ask at once. Neither one has an answer. Dean almost says \u201cFuck if I know,\u201d but then he remembers they are on a network television show.<\/p>\n

They are surrounded by roiling black mist. \u201cWow,\u201d says Sam, completely deadpan, \u201cthis does not remind me of the Leviathan at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

The roiling black mist coalesces into a vague human being shaped thing. After a dramatic title card, it is revealed to be an old white man in a very dark suit. He is balding, but still trying to hide it. He should have purchased a bigger suit. In the back of his mind, he thanks the God that does not exist in this universe that at least they didn\u2019t get a black man to play the Darkness.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Dean agrees. \u201cThis is nothing at all like the Leviathan.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly, the old white man in a very dark suit looms threateningly. Sam and Dean don\u2019t know it, but this is thanks to a strange camera angle and several overworked post-production techs. They find it very frightening.<\/p>\n

\u201cI find this very frightening,\u201d Sam says to Dean.<\/p>\n

Even more suddenly, Charlie appears beside the Winchesters. She is semi-transparent. She is floating in the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you were dead!?\u201d Dean exclaims, clearly oblivious to the fact that she is a ghost.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are clearly oblivious to the fact that I am a ghost,\u201d Charlie says. After a moment, she shakes her head as though trying to get water out of her ears. \u201cWhat the hell was that? I meant to say that duh, dipshit, I\u2019m a ghost! Are you blind? Also, since when were ghosts semitransparent in this show anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam blinks in awe. \u201cYou just cursed,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Ghost Charlie shrugs. \u201cApparently dying comes with being very genre savvy. And don\u2019t worry.\u201d She turns towards the old white man in a very dark suit, who Sam and Dean abruptly remember is the Darkness. \u201cI know how to deal with this fucker.\u201d<\/p>\n

She pauses a moment, for drama, and then exclaims \u201cChristo!\u201d<\/p>\n

The old white man in a very dark suit stands gaping for a moment, before he dissolves back into roiling black smoke. It goes screaming up into the air and then disappears back underground. Distantly, the Winchesters can hear it shouting \u201cContinuity-y-y-y-y-y-yyyyy\u201d<\/p>\n

The Winchester gape at Ghost Charlie. She shrugs again. \u201cThere was never any Darkness,\u201d she says. \u201cThere was just the manifestation of the writers\u2019 ineptitude.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

resident-longwinded-anon: Season 11 starts. The Winchesters aren\u2019t in the Impala anymore. Dean looks at Sam. Sam looks at Dean. \u201cWhy aren\u2019t we in the Impala anymore?\u201d they both ask at once. Neither one has an answer. Dean almost says \u201cFuck if I know,\u201d but then he remembers they are on a network television show. They … <\/p>\n

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