{"id":141391,"date":"2015-08-12T22:39:49","date_gmt":"2015-08-12T22:39:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/08\/12\/the-first-time-i-called-the-cdc-i-said-that-i\/"},"modified":"2015-08-12T22:39:49","modified_gmt":"2015-08-12T22:39:49","slug":"the-first-time-i-called-the-cdc-i-said-that-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/08\/12\/the-first-time-i-called-the-cdc-i-said-that-i\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

The first time I called the CDC, I said that I wanted to talk to someone about possibly designing a zombie virus. \u2026So every time I came up with a new iteration of Kellis-Amberlee, I would call back and say, \u201cIf I did this, this, this, this, this and this, could I raise the dead?\u201d And every single time they would say, \u201cNo.\u201d And I\u2019d say, \u201cOK,\u201d hang up, and go back to working. After about the 17th time, I called and said, \u201cIf I did this, this, this, this, this, this and this, could I raise the dead?\u201d And got, \u201cDon\u2019t \u2026 don\u2019t do that.\u201d At that point, I knew I had a viable virus.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

Seanan McGuire \/ Mira Grant (via <\/p>\n

mmastertheone<\/a><\/p>\n

)<\/p>\n

(chuckle) Persistence in research pays off.<\/p>\n

(via dduane<\/a>)<\/p>\n

#somewhere there is a CDC employee #who is both all out of fucks to give #and experiencing a mild level of perpetual background anxiety about maybe being complicit in the future zombie apocalypse #like I\u2019m just imagining this one specific person fielding all of seanan\u2019s phonecalls #maybe two a day over a period of weeks #and progressing from bemused politeness #to genuine amusement #to steadily escalating panic #\u2019what if she\u2019s not really a writer?\u2019 #\u2019what if I\u2019m actually helping a supervillain??\u2019 #\u2019oh god I\u2019m not paid enough for this\u2019 #\u2019I LIKE VIRUSES NOT THE GENERAL PUBLIC\u2019 #\u2019PLEASE TAKE ME OFF PHONE DUTY OH GOD\u2019 #lowering their head gently into their cupped hands with the phone braced between ear and shoulder #\u2019ma\u2019am-\u2019 #\u2019ma\u2019am we really don\u2019t recommend-\u2019 #\u2019ma\u2019am, no, that wouldn\u2019t-\u2019 #\u2019ma\u2019am please I really think-\u2019 #\u2019don\u2019t\u2026 don\u2019t do that-\u2019 #and then she just STOPS CALLING #and after three days of radio silence this person starts discreetly checking the news for x-files-style stories about zombies #getting shit from their colleagues for their sudden fascination with trashy newspapers and trying to play it off #\u2019HAHA YOU GUYS YOU\u2019RE SO FUNNY\u2019 #\u2019YEAH ZOMBIE RACCOONS, IT\u2019S TOTALLY HILARIOUS\u2019 #\u2019WHO WOULD EVEN DO THAT AM I RIGHT?\u2019 #\u2019IT\u2019S NOT LIKE THEY\u2019VE GOT US ON THEIR SIDE\u2019 #\u2019HAHA\u2019 #\u2019HAHAHAHAHA\u2019 \u00a0#*nervously wipes sweat from forehead* \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

(via fozmeadows<\/a>)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The first time I called the CDC, I said that I wanted to talk to someone about possibly designing a zombie virus. \u2026So every time I came up with a new iteration of Kellis-Amberlee, I would call back and say, \u201cIf I did this, this, this, this, this and this, could I raise the dead?\u201d … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"quote","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[680,4,2398],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141391"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=141391"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141391\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=141391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=141391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=141391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}