{"id":140567,"date":"2015-08-18T17:54:18","date_gmt":"2015-08-18T17:54:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/08\/18\/grief-a-primer\/"},"modified":"2015-08-18T17:54:18","modified_gmt":"2015-08-18T17:54:18","slug":"grief-a-primer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/08\/18\/grief-a-primer\/","title":{"rendered":"Grief: a primer"},"content":{"rendered":"

prettyarbitrary<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

1: You may be a wreck, and that\u2019s okay. \u00a0Forgive yourself for it. \u00a0Grief sucks enough. \u00a0Guilt over grief will eat you alive.<\/p>\n

Plus, nobody else cares. \u00a0If you think they do, just say\u00a0\u201cI lost someone recently\u201d and they will avert their eyes, mutter condolences and be on their way.<\/p>\n

2: Tell the people you love how you feel about them while you have the chance. \u00a0Say\u00a0\u201cI love you,\u201d but also tell them that you like spending time with them, the things they do that make you laugh, and how proud they make you.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you can\u2019t say it to their face, send an email or write it in a card and mail it to them. \u00a0But you\u2019ll be happier for having let them know, and they\u2019ll be happier for having heard it. \u00a0<\/p>\n

You may assume they know, but they probably don\u2019t. \u00a0At any rate, when it\u2019s too late you\u2019ll be left wondering whether they did.<\/p>\n

3:\u00a0<\/p>\n

The weirdest thing about losing someone is how, when they\u2019re gone, the world goes right on like it doesn\u2019t even notice. \u00a0IDK what to do about this. \u00a0I\u2019m just warning you.<\/p>\n

4: No, really. \u00a0Forgive yourself for the erratic mood swings, the bouts of uselessness, the being pissed off, the wanting to avoid things, the not being able to forgive them for things you can\u2019t get over, maybe even for dying at all. \u00a0You can love someone and be angry at them, or unable to forgive them. \u00a0These things aren\u2019t mutually exclusive.<\/p>\n

5: Grief doesn\u2019t end. \u00a0It only tapers off. \u00a0\u2018Grief\u2019 is a word for \u201cthere\u2019s a hole in life where someone used to be.\u201d We talk about\u00a0\u2018healing,\u2019 about\u00a0\u2018recovering.\u2019 \u00a0That\u2019s bullshit. \u00a0What you do is acclimate, come to terms. \u00a0But if you catch yourself occasionally bursting into tears 10 years after you lost your mom, then that\u2019s just how it goes sometimes.<\/p>\n

6: They like to say,\u00a0\u201cBut you\u2019ll always have the memories.\u201d \u00a0And that is not bullshit. \u00a0It\u2019s the bottom line. \u00a0The person you lost helped to shape you into who you are, and who you\u2019ll become. \u00a0They will legitimately always be a part of you, and a little bit of them will always be touching the world through you. \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

prettyarbitrary: 1: You may be a wreck, and that\u2019s okay. \u00a0Forgive yourself for it. \u00a0Grief sucks enough. \u00a0Guilt over grief will eat you alive. Plus, nobody else cares. \u00a0If you think they do, just say\u00a0\u201cI lost someone recently\u201d and they will avert their eyes, mutter condolences and be on their way. 2: Tell the people … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Grief: a primer”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[16239,3786,16240,272,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140567"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=140567"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/140567\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=140567"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=140567"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=140567"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}