{"id":139613,"date":"2015-08-25T04:13:03","date_gmt":"2015-08-25T04:13:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/08\/25\/christel-thoughts-worriedaboutmyfern\/"},"modified":"2015-08-25T04:13:03","modified_gmt":"2015-08-25T04:13:03","slug":"christel-thoughts-worriedaboutmyfern","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/08\/25\/christel-thoughts-worriedaboutmyfern\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

christel-thoughts<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

worriedaboutmyfern<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

marrows<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

I recently read an article about how women use the word \u201cjust\u201d in work life and personal life more than men do because we feel we need to apologize or make whatever we have to say quick. \u201cI\u2019m just writing to say\u2026\u201d \u201cI just want to know\u2026\u201d \u201cJust checking in\u2026\u201d. It seems to trivialize what we have to say.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t apologize or feel you need to make little of what you are saying. Say it with intention. \u201cI\u2019m writing to tell you this\u2026\u201d \u201cI want you to know\u2026\u201d \u201cI\u2019m checking in to make sure\u2026"\u00a0<\/p>\n

Since reading the article I\u2019ve become aware of how much I was adding \u201cjust\u201d so soften what I had to say, whether it needed to be softened or not.
\nSay what you have to say with confidence and intent. without apology. what you have to say, no matter what it is, is important.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Okay, but there\u2019s a *reason* why women soften their speech and affect\u2013because we\u2019re often punished if we don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Like how a while back a study came out that showed men will negotiate salary offers much more often than women do, and usually obtain a higher salary as a result. So there was this raft of career advice for women: \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid to negotiate your salary!!\u201d<\/p>\n

Yeah, so then someone actually did a study on what happens *when* women attempt to negotiate salary. They trigger a backlash: in many cases the original offer is rescinded, and even if not, it succeeds at a much lower rate than negotiations for men do, and the woman gains a reputation for being \u201cdifficult.\u201d<\/p>\n

Women don\u2019t negotiate salaries because we\u2019re not idiots<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Similarly, I think a lot of the other social-hesitancy cues that women use, like using \u201cjust\u201d or making everything into a question\u2013we do that because otherwise we are punished<\/i>. This isn\u2019t just a matter of \u201cbe more assertive, ladies!\u201d There\u2019s more going on.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

T H A N K. Y O U.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

christel-thoughts: worriedaboutmyfern: marrows: I recently read an article about how women use the word \u201cjust\u201d in work life and personal life more than men do because we feel we need to apologize or make whatever we have to say quick. \u201cI\u2019m just writing to say\u2026\u201d \u201cI just want to know\u2026\u201d \u201cJust checking in\u2026\u201d. It seems … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[677,309,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139613"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=139613"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139613\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=139613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=139613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=139613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}