{"id":130874,"date":"2015-10-20T01:50:31","date_gmt":"2015-10-20T01:50:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/10\/20\/ive-got-a-dark-side-lotrlocked\/"},"modified":"2015-10-20T01:50:31","modified_gmt":"2015-10-20T01:50:31","slug":"ive-got-a-dark-side-lotrlocked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/10\/20\/ive-got-a-dark-side-lotrlocked\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

ive-got-a-dark-side<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

lotrlocked<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

get-your-ass-in-the-impala<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

smurflewis<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

gaysfinest<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

Don\u2019t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it\u2019s because he has a crush on her. Don\u2019t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could. <\/p>\n

Who alway got in trouble? Me. <\/p>\n

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly. <\/p>\n

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else. <\/p>\n

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn\u2019t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.<\/p>\n

So naturally, I end up in the principal\u2019s office, refusing to apologize.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cHe shouldn\u2019t have put his hands on me and I wouldn\u2019t have hit him!\u201d That\u2019s the only thing I was saying.<\/p>\n

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he\u2019s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cMelissa, did you punch him?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d I said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause he snapped my bra strap.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says,\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That\u2019s what you are saying to me.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, sir-\u201d The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. \u201cMelissa did make it physical.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t get suspended that day. \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

*slow clap for excellent parenting*<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is the parent I want to be omg<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ive-got-a-dark-side: lotrlocked: get-your-ass-in-the-impala: smurflewis: gaysfinest: Don\u2019t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it\u2019s because he has a crush on her. Don\u2019t teach her that abuse is a sign of love. My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. … <\/p>\n

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