{"id":122496,"date":"2015-12-18T07:48:09","date_gmt":"2015-12-18T07:48:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/12\/18\/mojoflower-jhameia-gorgeryandgushness\/"},"modified":"2015-12-18T07:48:09","modified_gmt":"2015-12-18T07:48:09","slug":"mojoflower-jhameia-gorgeryandgushness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/2015\/12\/18\/mojoflower-jhameia-gorgeryandgushness\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

mojoflower<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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jhameia<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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gorgeryandgushness<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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rhube<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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berlynn-wohl<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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prokopetz<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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ruingaraf<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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prokopetz<\/a>:<\/p>\n

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I\u2019ll be honest, whenever a work of speculative fiction (fanmade or otherwise) goes out of its way to describe an intelligent species with bizarre and complicated reproductive biology, the first question that invariably pops into my head is: \u201cHow do these critters masturbate?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

what if masturbation was uniquely a human experience though<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Okay, I know that you meant \u201cwhat if humans are the only intelligent species that\u2019s anatomically capable of masturbating?\u201d, but now I\u2019m picturing a universe where humans are the only ones that ever thought to try it.<\/p>\n

Human masturbation specialists traveling the galaxy to offer our gift, undertaking rigorous study and enormous personal risk to teach weird-ass aliens how to rub one out.<\/p>\n

Calculating the exact harmonic frequencies to allow ancient, vacuum-dwelling crystalline intelligences to self-stimulate.<\/p>\n

Descending into the crushing atmospheres of gas giants in specially constructed aerostats to design sex toys for the vast, jellyfish-like super-predators that prowl the hurricane slipstreams.<\/p>\n

Wanking is our genius. Our legacy.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\"image\"<\/figure>\n<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

That last addition is possibly my favourite thing Tumblr has ever done for the world.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

OMG.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

yep<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

IT GOT BETTER!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

mojoflower: jhameia: gorgeryandgushness: rhube: berlynn-wohl: prokopetz: ruingaraf: prokopetz: I\u2019ll be honest, whenever a work of speculative fiction (fanmade or otherwise) goes out of its way to describe an intelligent species with bizarre and complicated reproductive biology, the first question that invariably pops into my head is: \u201cHow do these critters masturbate?\u201d what if masturbation was … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[38,14632,4],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122496"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=122496"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122496\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=122496"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=122496"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.merindab.com\/private\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=122496"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}